Page 8

SILIA

We enter the dining room, Lars leading the group, and my father is already seated at the head of the table. As soon as Rein notices the king, he drops my arm and stands at attention, then elbows Lars to bow. Begrudgingly, Lars does, and I follow suit with a curtsey.

“Your Majesty, good morning!” It’s clear Rein wasn’t expecting to see the king this early, and I can feel how flustered he is.

Father knows that Rein and I have become remarkably close over the years, and it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary to see us linking arms and joking with one another. But Rein puts professionalism above all else.

As a captain should , I remind myself.

“At ease, Captain Survale. Let me have my coffee before we start with all the bowing.” Father waves his hand in the air, dismissing us, then continues with his breakfast.

I giggle to myself and walk towards my seat, shouldering Rein as I pass by. Rein sees the king as just as much of a father figure as I do, and I know my father feels the same about him, like a son he never had. It’s funny to see their dynamic play out—Father teases and pretends to be annoyed by his presence, but deep down, he would sacrifice anything for Rein.

I can feel the boys’ eyes on me as I give Father a kiss on the cheek and take the seat to his left. Rein sits diagonally from me, leaving the seat to the right of my father empty. I give him a look to question why he’s being so weird, and I nod to the empty seat next to him. He sends a pleading look back, asking me not to press it.

I shift my gaze to Lars as he rounds the table, walking behind Rein and passing Father before sitting directly next to me. I can feel his stare searing the side of my face as I avoid eye contact with him. A hand falls on my left thigh as Lars fiddles with the seam of my dress, rubbing the fabric between his fingers.

I clear my throat and sit up straighter, shifting my focus to Father instead of the burning desire that’s now engulfing me at Lars’s touch. “I’m sorry to interrupt your breakfast. I didn’t expect you to start your day so early!”

Father moves his gaze to Rein, then the empty seat next to him. “Captain, I do not carry a disease. No need to quarantine yourself from me.”

Rein immediately stands and shifts his seat to the king’s right. A right-hand seat for his right-hand man . It’s an unspoken rule that the king sits at the head of the table, the queen to his left, and the captain of the guard to his right. I know that Rein feels weird taking this seat, since it was supposed to be mine as captain, but we all know how that had turned out.

Father turns to me and sets his silverware down. “Not a bother, Silia. I actually meant to speak with you all.”

Lars’s grip tightens on my dress in anticipation.

“I’m requesting you three go to Daqet to check on Diana in one week.” My palms begin to sweat, and uneasiness clouds my thoughts.

“Should I write to their captain to inform them we’re making the journey? We could continue training there, if you intend for us to stay for more than a few days,” Rein chimes in.

“That will not be necessary. No one outside of this room will know where you are going. This needs to happen silently.” Father’s tone shifts to a low whisper, and I have to lean in to hear his next words.

“Diana has not responded to the letter I have sent her, and I’m worried that Erebus’s plots are moving quicker than originally planned.”

Lars completely releases my dress, and I have to fight myself not to look at him. A sudden cold replaces the warmth previously there with his touch, and I feel like an empty husk.

“Plotting? What do you mean? I thought we established that Uncle Erebus would not harm Diana.” I try to settle my rising panic before it can be seen on my face.

“ Breathe. She is safe. ”

A voice whispers in my mind, and the gold cloud circles my thoughts, just as it had when I’d woken up this morning. Warmth runs through my veins once again as recognition smacks me in the face. That voice is unmistakable. I can’t believe I’d never realized who has been intruding on my thoughts until now. I would know that silky tone even if my memory had been completely erased.

I ball my fists and show no signs of hearing any voice in my mind as Father turns to Rein and begins laying out the plan.

“For the next week, I need you to focus intently on Silia’s training. Do not tell anyone of your planned trip. I will make an excuse for your absence with the Guard.”

He then looks at all three of us and continues, “I want you all to sneak into Daqet and spy on Erebus. Lars, if you feel confident enough to make yourself known to the kingdom, you may do so. Learn as much as you can about these plans, whatever they may be. Make sure my Diana is safe, and do not under any circumstances involve yourself in whatever is unfolding over there. Get in, find Diana, and get out.”

“ Why do you ignore me, Little Flame?”

I try to shove the golden cloud from my mind as hard as I can. The black, ghostly hand of my subconscious tears its sharp nails into it, causing the cloud to evaporate, leaving me cold and without prying eyes in my mind. I hear Lars clear his throat and feel him shift beside me.

“It should be no problem, Your Majesty. I can tell Daqet that I have been asked to hand-deliver letters to Diana, as they seem to have been getting lost on the journey to her,” Lars agrees with the king and nudges me under the table with his finger again.

I discreetly reach over my lap and give him a hard pinch with my nails. My brand tingles at the connection of our hands, and a feeling of lust passes through me. I am not in the slightest bit aroused, but I feel this urge just as strongly as I would my own. I decide to sneak a glance to my left and find Lars not paying me any attention, but instead intently focusing on the king.

“How long will we be gone?” Rein asks, not seeming to notice the silent battle Lars and I are having.

“Two weeks at least. I do not want to raise suspicion by sending you all out again, so try to find Diana as quickly as you can.” Father leans back in his seat and pushes his plate away from him, signifying he’s done with his meal and perhaps this conversation.

“Don’t you have spies in Daqet? Can’t they search more easily than we can?” I rush the questions out before he gets up to leave the table.

Lars’s hand returns to my lap and slowly begins to pull my dress up my thigh. I clear my throat and adjust myself in my seat, kicking Lars in the shin. His hand releases my dress, but still lingers over the fabric.

“I have not received word from them this week like I should have. I am worried they have been compromised.” Father pushes up from his chair and walks behind Rein, clapping a hand down on his shoulder.

“Meet me in the map room. I have more plans to discuss with you.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” Rein’s eyes follow the king as he makes his exit.

As soon as the door shuts, Rein turns his gaze to us.

“Well, shit,” Rein breathes out, running a hand through his hair.

Shit, indeed.

After breakfast, I decide to head back up to my room and change out of my dress into my training clothes. Lars’s scent has somehow clung to the silky fabric of my dress, and I want nothing more than to toss it into my fireplace. Lars tries to follow me up the stairs and come into my room to talk to me, but I'm not ready to face the reality of what I’d learned at the dining table. I slam the door in his face without saying a word.

Now that we’ve been tasked to go to Daqet, my main priority is becoming more comfortable with my gift and making sure Diana is okay. The journal will have to take second priority for now.

It’s only been one day, but it feels like an eternity since I found out she was gone. So much has happened in twenty-four hours that I can barely process it all. I need her. I need Diana back.

I finish changing into my training gear and braid my hair, then head to Diana’s room.

I miss her eyes. I miss her talking about her farm animal friends. I miss her laugh, and most of all, I miss the way she was the light that evened out my darkness. People in the kingdom gossip that my gift is a curse that tried to destroy the palace by burning it to the ground. Diana never believed these rumors, and she’d comforted me on days I felt like giving up, when life felt like too much. I feel guilty that she was the one coming to my rescue time and time again. I am her older sister. I am meant to protect her, not the other way around.

It doesn’t matter now, I suppose. I wasn’t there to protect her from Erebus. I had failed.

Wetness stings my eyes as I swing Diana’s door open and run for her bed. I am unable to stop the flow of tears as I collapse on top of her mattress and bury my face into the comforter. I can’t catch a breath in between sobs as my hands fist the sheets, digging my nails into the red and gold fabric. I take a few deep breaths and push myself up to rest on my hands, staring at the wet spot I’ve created on her once-pristine bedspread.

“I am so sorry, Diana. I’ve failed you,” I whisper to no one.

I let out another sob as I fall back onto the bed and gaze at the ceiling. My vision is past the point of blurriness, and I can no longer make out any details of the rest of the room as I cry. I bring one of the pillows to my face and take a deep breath, hoping her scent still lingers. Hints of rose and soil tingle my nose, and I let out a laugh of relief.

She’s not completely gone.

I toss the pillow away and sit up again. I must look like a madwoman. Another laugh bubbles up, and before I know it, I am full-on cackling, tears still streaming down my face.

Isn’t it so funny? I have been blessed with a gift from the Gods, and I cannot even control it. My room was only one away from my sister's, and I couldn’t even tell that she had left. I try to live up to my father’s expectations and do the one job he’s asked me to do, and I have to hand it off to my best friend because I can’t be trusted not to set the entire Guard on fire.

I ask the Gods why they took my mother, and they do not answer.

I feel another sob coming on when someone bursts through the door.

“Silia?” I recognize Lars’s voice before I can even register his face.

“Get. Out,” I seethe at him. The last thing on this entire planet I want to do is talk to him.

“Are you all right? Are you hurt?” My vision is still distorted from the tears, so all I see is a giant shadow darting towards me and grabbing my hands. I feel his thumbs graze my knuckles as he gives my hands a little squeeze.

I pull away instantly. “I don’t want to talk to you. Leave now.”

I am not in the right mind to have a calm and civilized conversation with him and ask the questions I want to. All I feel now is rage and the urge to claw his eyes out.

“No, Silia. I will not leave until you tell me what happened.” He takes my face in his hands, and it burns like he’d just roasted himself in a fire and then slapped me across the face.

I rip away from his grip once again and shove off the bed faster than I’ve ever moved before.

“I am your princess, and you will obey me. Leave!” I shout, much louder than I intended.

I don’t care if anyone hears me. I just need him to leave so I can breathe again. I feel smothered, like thewalls are closing in on me. This room is becoming too small for the both of us, and I feel like I’m going to be sick.

My vision clears as I swipe at my tears, and I see Lars rise from the bed and walk to the door. He doesn’t leave, but instead shuts the door quietly and quickens his pace back over to me. Black clouds of smoke begin to form around the corners of the room, and they snake around his legs as I glare at him.

“Silia, please breathe. You’re shaking.” I look down at my hands and notice they’re trembling. My vision begins to blur again, but not from tears. I am hyperventilating. I’m going to pass out.

“Please, leave—”

The words leave my mouth as soft as a whisper as the room starts to spin. I try to reach out for anything to balance my weight before I collapse to the ground, but my hands never find their anchor. Everything is too much. The room is too stuffy, the noise in my head too loud, the feelings of anger and sadness too intense. The black clouds of smoke have now risen to Lars’s chest, as he tries to stifle a cough.

“Silia!” is the last thing I hear before my vision goes black.