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SILIA

I rouse from my sleep the same as yesterday, exhausted and covered in sweat.

The violence of my dreams had subsided at some point through the night, and I’d instead dreamt of my mother, and of Diana and me as kids. Dreams of Lars and I living out our lives in some faraway place had managed to squeeze their way in as well.

I take a deep breath and let out an exasperated sigh. A smell as familiar as my own invades my senses—jasmine and sandalwood with a hint of lavender. My mind must be playing tricks on me as I try to discover where the scent is coming from, but it’s all around the room, every corner, every square inch. His scent stokes a fire deep in my core, and I find myself missing his touch, the way his hazel eyes shone brighter than the stars in the sky, the feeling of his body pressed against mine.

I press my knuckles to my eyes, trying to shake myself out of this longing. Cool metal meets my brow, and I pull my hands back in confusion. On my ring finger is a black ring with small golden vines etched around the band.

Horror materializes on my face as the realization sinks in. Not only did someone put this on me in my sleep, but this is the ring I saw in my dream. This was the same ring I had been wearing snuggled in bed next to Lars, him wearing a twin wedding band.

Nausea rolls in my gut, and I bring a hand to my mouth to prevent myself from vomiting all over the floor. I need to get this ring off; I know it was him. He’d snuck into my room and watched me while I slept, and then put this damn ring on my finger.

Why did that knowledge comfort me in some sick and twisted way?

I try to slip the ring off, but it won’t budge, not even an inch. I furiously pull at the ring until my finger begins to angrily redden and swell. I twist it at every angle imaginable, but nothing works. I contemplate just chopping my finger off and being done with it, but I think better of it. Dealing with a healer is the last thing I want to do today.

In frustration, I stomp to the bathroom to get ready for the full day of festivities. Diana is twenty-four today, and if we were not here, I am sure Father would still be throwing a party in her honor. It wouldn’t be one with such devious intentions as this. The only purpose of this ball is to flaunt the power Erebus holds over us, to prove he can control not only his kingdom, but the one belonging to his late sister as well. His depraved mind finds comfort in holding us under his thumb.

I turn the bath faucet on and prepare the water with the bath salts and coffee-scented soap. The little black bottle remains discarded in the corner, watching me. It seems to be pleading for me to use it, to give in to my temptations and suffocate myself in its scent. I throw a vulgar gesture to the lonely bottle, strip off my nightdress, and step into the tub after turning the faucet off. I sink deep into the bath, deep enough that the water covers my ears, silencing the voices in my head that beg me to forgive Lars. The whispers that echo his proclamation of love.

I grumble to myself and close my eyes as I begin to formulate a plan to escape tonight and to convince Diana to come with me. I know she will say no. She’ll say that she and Odious need to remain here for whatever reasons they have. But it’s worth a shot.

My heart begins to flood with happiness for the first time in a week at the revelation of the love they share. They undoubtedly love each other. It does not take much to see they would sacrifice themselves for one another. Jealousy seeps into the corners of my heart and begins to drain that blissful feeling.

I dunk my head completely under the warm water, feeling ashamed of being jealous of my little sister. Diana deserves every good thing that comes into her life.

I keep myself submerged, welcoming the pain that comes with holding my breath for so long. I crack open my eyes and stare up at the ceiling through the foggy water. The soap stings my eyes, but I don’t care. My mind slips into a dark place as I wonder what life for everyone would be like if I ceased to exist. Much happier, I’m sure. I am the reason we’re in this mess. Without me, Erebus would have never taken Diana, Lars would have never been sent to Eza…and Rein would still be alive.

I close my eyes again as my vision begins to darken in the corners of my peripheral. I lose track of how long I’ve been under here as a tingly numbness begins to crawl up my arms and legs and a blissful silence starts to wrap me in a warm embrace. I have never felt freer in my life than I do at this very moment.

A vision slowly appears behind my eyelids—a vision of my mother standing next to a blindingly bright, open door.

“ You have been so strong, Silia .” Mother beckons me closer, reaching her arms out to me. I begin to run to her, wanting nothing more than to feel the love from her once again. But just as I am about to reach her, the smile fades from her face, and she slams the door shut.

“ But your time is not up.”

Suddenly, I’m being ripped from the water. My eyes fly open as I’m dragged out of the bath and onto the floor. My lungs heave up all the water that I ingested during the commotion, and I look up to see who took me away from the happy ending with my mother.

A panic-ridden Lars stares down at me in bewilderment. His hazel eyes are wholly black and wide. It’s as if I’m staring directly into two endless black holes. His breathing is fast and erratic, as if he were the one drowning in the tub. How did he know I was here?

Before I can get a word out, wanting to tell him to get the fuck out, he’s miraculously gone.

He vanishes into thin air, leaving me angry and shivering on the cold tile of his old bathroom floor.