Page 42 of Five Years

Leah was going to kill Grace.Actuallykill her.

“So—” It was Ariana’s fifthsoin the first thirty minutes of their drive.

“Look, I know this is weird, and it’s probably going to get awkward. I’d apologise in advance, but honestly? Grace should be the one apologising for putting us in this position,” Leah blurted out.

“I don’t think it’s weird,” Ariana said.

“You don’t?”

“No. We used to do stuff like this all the time. We had the most fun on road trips.”

“We were also in a relationship, Ari.”

“So?” She said it completely blasé.

“We used to have sex on our road trips.”

Ariana nearly spat her coffee all over the steering wheel. “Erm, yes, we did—”

Now, she didn’t know where to look.

“We still had fun regardless of the sex though, right?”

“No. Aside from that, I actually couldn’t stand you,” Leah teased.

“Oh.” Ariana stared straight ahead.

“I made it weird, didn’t I?” Leah asked.

“Kinda.” Ariana let out a short, sharp laugh.

The car hummed along. Ariana gripped the steering wheel a little too tightly, her knuckles turning white against the leather.

“Why do you want to go to Chicago anyway?” Leah asked.

“For a hot dog,” Ariana said.

“You want to drive ninety minutes for a hot dog?” Leah turned in her seat. The winter sun poured through the windshield, catching Ariana’s profile as she squinted in the cutest way possible.

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“Because they’re the best hot dogs!”

“Okay, but surely there’s another reason you want to go?”

“Nope.” She shook her head convincingly.

“Okay, that’s good to know.”

Leah stared out the window, watching the trees blur by. They used to take countless drives like this. It was their thing—back when life made sense, back when she could reach across the centre console and hold Ariana’s hand, tapping along to the beat of whatever song was big at the time. Every anthem used to feel like the soundtrack to their love. Now the radio played something neither of them knew, and all it did was echo the distance that had formed since their breakup.

She missed Ariana. Sitting beside her now only amplified how much. Not romantically—she used to, for a very long time. She used to crave her touch, her lips, the way Ariana would wrap her legs around her naked body beneath a thick winter duvet.

Now, she just missed her. The person she was. The way she laughed at Leah’s bad jokes and made her feel funny, even though she absolutely wasn’t. She missed Ariana researching every detail of their trips, walking her through the plan like a tour guide. She missed the way Ariana listened—really listened—like every thought Leah had mattered. She’d wanted to be exactly what Leah needed. And she had been.

Ariana finally broke the silence, her voice slightly shaky. “Uh...do you want to go to Garrett’s?”