Page 21 of First (After the End #1)

THE DECISION

Gabriel

Once Lennart leaves, my brother enters the room, and I don’t waste time with a preamble before announcing, “I’m keeping her.”

I feel remarkably serene about my choice. Sofia is not safe with any member of House Larsen. Just as importantly, I want her with me—now and at all times. The rest is just a matter of ironing out the details. Or of killing whoever won’t accept my decision.

Ivar, of course, disagrees. “Are you— You cannot keep her, Gabriel. She’s not a pet. It’s called the Right of the First Night, not the Right of However Fucking Long You Want to—”

“I’m not going to return her,” I repeat.

Ivar takes a deep breath. Pinches the bridge of his nose.

“We have a plan. A plan that involves provoking House Larsen into an insurrection while acting aboveboard, to convince the council to side with us. The plan doesn’t work if you give Lord Larsen a legitimate reason for a coup.

You already stretched it by holding the girl one more night—”

“I. Am. Keeping her.”

“For how long?”

I smile. “How long do you think?”

Ivar claws at his scalp, takes several steps away from where I sit, then abruptly turns around. “Tell you what.” He points his middle finger at me. “You give her the option. Tonight, you go to her and do…do whatever the fuck it is that you want.”

“If I stayed on her the entire night, I wouldn’t be able to do a thousandth of what I want.”

“I don’t—I didn’t ask, Gabriel. All-father.” He grimaces. “You keep her for the night and do your thing, no questions asked. But before, you tell her that she can either go back, or she can stay with you. And if she asks to go back, you let her.”

“I don’t fucking want to let her—”

“Gabriel, damn it.” My brother’s palms are suddenly planted on the stone table.

His face is an inch from mine. “If we want any semblance of our plan to work, we need to obey the law. We need to be spotless in front of the council. If she asks to stay with you…then maybe we can massage the messaging. We could argue that you’re removing her from a situation she never wanted to begin with. ”

I clench my fists. Release them. “She doesn’t know what she wants. They did something to her. She wasn’t given a chance to—”

“Gabriel, this is bigger than your knot. This is about the lives of tens of thousands, and last I checked the math, thousands of lives are more important than one. Especially when we’re talking about people you swore to protect.”

I loathe everything about this. Above all, and with every fiber of my being, I despise the idea of ever implying to Sofia that I’m willing to let her go.

But…

“I’ll do it. I’ll give her the option,” I say at last. Just as Ivar’s shoulders sag in relief, I add, “But it’s not true.”

“What isn’t?”

“The fucking math.” I stand to leave. “Thousands of people might be more than one. But all their lives put together do not matter more than hers.”