Page 4 of Finn (Vampire Vows #1)

CHAPTER FOUR

GAbrIEL

Monsters don’t dream, or at least, we’re not supposed to. However, I’ve always been an anomaly. Back then, and now.

My mind took me back to the past I’ve deliberately tried to forget, because remembering him hurts. And tonight, I dream.

I’m back in the early morning of the last day I was alive.

It was nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary. I’d invited Finn to have breakfast with me, outside the Guild House.

No one liked the overgrown, neglected garden out back, with its eerie quietness and faint, unshakable scent of decay.

It clung to the damp air and tangled in the roots of wild roses, reaching around gravestones scattered in haphazard rows.

Most found it creepy, including Finn, but it was one of the only places I’d ever felt at home.

The others called it the garden, but it was more of a burial ground, a resting place for hunters who’d given everything.

When I was a child, I’d wander among the graves and the roses, always more comfortable with the dead than the living.

I led Finn there, a makeshift picnic breakfast stashed in a basket with supplies scrounged up from the cafeteria.

He raised an eyebrow at me, a bit skeptical but still intrigued.

I watched his eyes widen with interest as I unfurled a worn checkered blanket over the wild grass and sprawling roots of an ancient oak.

I’d spent countless afternoons under that tree, resting my back against its massive trunk, hidden from the world.

“Gabriel... is this... a date?” he asked hesitantly, biting his lower lip, which drew my attention more than it should have.

I wanted to kiss him badly, but I held back. I had my reasons. Finn being close to me was dangerous. Being with him was a mistake, or so I kept telling myself.

Just another reason in a growing list of regrets.

“We’re just having breakfast,” I said, keeping my voice even.

His face fell, and I cursed myself internally.

Even after all my attempts to train him to keep his emotions guarded, Finn wore his heart on his sleeve, although he could never hide it from me.

“But after this assignment…” I said, softening my tone. “Maybe we can have dinner. There’s a new steakhouse in town.”

He looked up at me, his blue eyes searching mine, and then his mouth curved into a grin.

Warmth seeped into his expression, and the sight made my pulse quicken in a way I never wanted him to know.

“So, what do you have for me?” Finn asked, not waiting for my answer as he reached for the basket.

“Rude,” I said, failing to mask the fondness in my voice.

“I’m hungry,” Finn complained, rifling through the contents with unabashed curiosity.

Then, the morning light hit his face just right, catching on his dark messy hair and illuminating that smile.

It was one of those smiles that was somehow both tentative and full of warmth. It was the last time I’d see it.

In my dream, I wanted to reach for him, to make that moment last longer, to let him know how much he meant to me, even though I’d held back a thousand times before.

But I knew what came next. I always did.

“Finn,” I started, struggling with words that I could never quite manage to say aloud, not back then. “There’s... something I should tell you.”

His eyes lit up with interest. “What is it?”

Instead, I laughed it off, deflecting the moment like I always did.

“Nothing. Just... take it easy out there.”

“Easy?” he teased. “Coming from you?”

I shook my head.

He always had that way of turning my own words against me, with a smirk that made me feel... more alive than I should have allowed.

His laughter echoed in the dream, mingling with the soft rustle of leaves, as if the garden itself held our secret.

But even in the dream, I knew what happened next. I knew I’d never make it back from the mission that evening.

I always pictured Finn waiting for me in my room, heart wide open. He was a trusting soul who never truly belonged in the violent world we were raised in.

A knock at my door jolted me awake, ripping me from the remnants of thar beautiful dream, leaving me both heartbroken and exposed.

I had always been a light sleeper, a skill that proved useful now that I lived among monsters.

My master might have considered me his favorite for now, but I knew how easily that could change.

In this place, loyalty was fickle, and survival depended on vigilance.

The knocking became more insistent, thudding into my skull with an urgency that warned me not to delay.

I dragged myself out of bed, rubbing sleep from my eyes, and opened the door.

Gael’s face greeted me, his lips curling into a sinister smile, fangs gleaming as he lunged.

I was still half-entranced by my dream of another time, another place, and I hadn’t expected the ambush.

His cold, powerful hands wrapped around my neck, forcing me back onto the floor, his weight crushing down on my chest.

As undead, we didn’t need to breathe, but our necks were still vulnerable.

Beric, our master and sire, allowed us to tear each other apart as long as it didn’t end in death.

The chill of Gael’s grip was a brutal reminder of my place in the hierarchy, of the jealous, ruthless rivalries that made this place feel like a warzone.

I shook off the last haze of sleep and slammed my knee into his ribs.

The force broke his grip, and he snarled, but he wasn’t done.

Gael had nursed a grudge ever since Beric had taken me to the Queen’s court a fortnight ago. It was a coveted position he’d held for over a century before I’d arrived.

And Gael, for all his centuries of experience, had grown entitled to that privilege.

I met his eyes, brimming with anger and dark determination, and for the first time since my transformation, I didn’t hold back.

In my former life, restraint had been second nature, but here, amongst monsters, there was no need.

Here, power was everything.

Gael and I went at each other like feral animals, exchanging blows that would have left mortals mangled and broken, but only left us bleeding and furious.

Eventually, with the taste of copper in my mouth and the satisfying scent of his blood on my hands, he spat a curse and finally rolled off me.

We lay sprawled on the cold floor, glaring at each other, chests heaving. His gaze held nothing but hatred and venom.

I knew without a doubt that he wouldn’t stop until he saw me as ashes, six feet under.

Then again, maybe that was just the way things worked here. Peace was a luxury none of us could afford.

Gael spit out blood and sneered, his voice thick with distaste. “The master wants to see you in his quarters.”

I took a deep breath, clamping down on the need to throw some clever retort his way. “I see.”

He didn’t leave immediately, lingering to see if I’d rise to his bait. When I stayed silent, he curled his lip in disgust and stalked off.

The wounds I’d inflicted on him were already knitting together, bruises fading as his body restored itself.

Gael had the kind of beauty mortals might swoon over, with his high cheekbones and icy stare.

But I’d come to see him as something cold and sharp. He was beautiful only from a distance, like a blade.

Before I went to Beric, I cleaned myself up and changed into fresh clothes. My sire placed an almost religious importance on appearances.

"We might be monsters, angel, but we have manners," he’d once told me with that voice of his.

Satisfied I looked presentable, I left my quarters and started the trek to Beric’s chambers on the second floor.

The house itself was vast, more like a manor than a home, surrounded by hundreds of forested acres that concealed it from prying human eyes.

Beric was Queen Arabella’s second, after all, and his estate reflected his rank.

As I walked through the silent halls, I caught sight of Cora and Justin, two new human “indentures” brought into the nest to manage daytime affairs.

Cora gave me a shy smile, lashes lowered. Justin, the bolder of the two siblings, offered a respectful “Good evening.”

I returned the greeting with a nod, ignoring the curious look in his eyes.

Unlike Gael and the others, I didn’t see the humans as mere blood banks.

They were essential to our survival, maintaining the facade and handling the logistics of our lives.

Maybe it was a remnant of my humanity, or maybe it was the way Justin’s eyes reminded me of someone I’d tried hard to forget.

Someone who had once given me a reason to live. But I couldn’t let myself dwell on that now. I had a meeting with Beric.

I finally reached his quarters without further interruption and knocked, waiting until his voice summoned me inside.