Page 18 of Finn (Vampire Vows #1)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

GAbrIEL

I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life, but this felt like the worst one.

Why couldn’t I keep my thoughts to myself? I had seen the flicker of hurt in Finn’s eyes the moment I spoke.

He was trying so hard to hold everything together, to push forward despite everything we’d been through.

Here I was, tossing doubt into the mix like some clumsy fool who didn’t know better.

My words had been selfish, driven by fear and guilt rather than reason.

What was wrong with me? I should’ve known better. I did know better.

But the pressure of everything, the danger stalking us, the weight of our choices, and the consequences we couldn’t outrun, had cracked something in me.

I had let it slip, that tiny kernel of doubt I didn’t even know I’d been carrying.

And now, Finn was walking away from me, his shoulders tense and his steps brisk.

He hadn’t said much, just a curt “I need some air,” but the way his voice had wavered told me everything I needed to know.

I’d hurt him, and if I didn’t fix this soon, I might lose the one person who loved and cared about me.

I ran a hand through my hair, frustration bubbling beneath my skin.

Apologies didn’t come easy to me. They never had, but this wasn’t just anyone. This was Finn.

If I couldn’t set aside my pride and own up to my mistakes for him, then I didn’t deserve him in the first place.

I followed him, keeping a careful distance.

Finn’s emotions were always written across his face for anyone who cared enough to look, and right now, he was hurting.

But I couldn’t leave him alone in this state, not when the world was as dangerous as it was, not when Gael or Asher could be lurking nearby.

The town was quiet, its streets nearly empty. Finn walked quickly, his hands shoved into his pockets, his shoulders tight with tension.

The sight of him like this, radiating hurt and anger, twisted something deep inside me.

Eventually, he stopped at a run-down motel on the outskirts of town.

The neon "VACANCY" sign flickered weakly, casting a dull red glow over the cracked asphalt of the parking lot.

I hung back as Finn entered the reception area, watching through the window as he exchanged words with the clerk.

Moments later, he stepped out with a key in his hand.

Finn made his way to a room on the first floor, his steps slowing as he approached the door.

Finn paused in front of it, gripping the key tightly but not using it. His shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath.

“You’re there, aren’t you?” he said, not turning around. “I… don’t want to stay mad at you, but you make it so easy.”

My chest tightened. I stepped out of the shadows.

“Finn,” I began, my voice low, unsure.

He turned to face me, crossing his arms over his chest.

His eyes burned with emotion. Anger, hurt, and something softer beneath it all.

“I’m sorry,” I said, stepping closer.

I considered my next words with care before speaking again.

“I let my personal fears get to me. The truth is, I don’t ever want to leave you. You chose me over your family, over the Guild. That’s not something I take lightly. I just… I only hope I can be worthy of that choice.”

Finn’s expression softened, though the tension in his posture didn’t ease entirely.

“Gabriel, did you think I made all those choices on a whim? That I’d just wake up one day and regret everything? You don’t get it, Gabriel. I don’t want to be anywhere you’re not,” Finn said.

His words hit me like a punch to the chest.

For a moment, I couldn’t find a response, the weight of his feelings crashing over me.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated, my voice raw. “I regret making you feel like I ever doubted that. I just… I never want to hold you back. You deserve more than what I can give you, Finn. But I swear I’ll do everything I can to be better. For you.”

Finn’s jaw tightened, and then he surged forward, his hands gripping the collar of my shirt as he kissed me.

It wasn’t soft or tentative; it was full of heat and frustration and longing.

I returned it without hesitation, pulling him closer, losing myself in the fire between us.

When he finally pulled back, his breathing was uneven, his cheeks flushed.

“You’re such an idiot,” he muttered, his lips quirking up in a wry smile.

“I know,” I agreed, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. “But can you forgive me anyway?”

Finn rolled his eyes, but the faint smile stayed.

He turned, unlocked the door, and pushed it open. Grabbing my hand, he pulled me inside.

The room was small and bare, with a single bed, a worn armchair, and a flickering TV mounted to the wall.

Finn didn’t seem to care about the surroundings as he shut the door behind us.

“I hate fighting with you,” he admitted, his voice quieter now.

“I hate it, too,” I said, cupping his face in my hands.

Finn’s arms slid around my waist, holding me close.

For a moment, we just stood there, the tension from earlier melting away, replaced by a warmth that spread between us.

“Don’t ever suggest leaving again,” he murmured against my shoulder.

“I won’t,” I promised, pressing a kiss to his temple. “You’re stuck with me.”

“Good,” Finn said, pulling back just enough to look at me. His eyes were bright, his earlier anger gone. “Because I’m not going anywhere. No matter what happens.”

I kissed him again, softer this time, savoring the taste of his lips and the steady thrum of his heartbeat against mine.

Finn responded with equal passion.

When I pulled away, Finn was panting, his lips still swollen from the kiss.

He rested his forehead against mine, his breaths uneven and warm against my skin.

His hands settled firmly on my shoulders, gripping me like I might vanish if he let go.

There was an intensity in the way he touched me, a silent desperation that spoke louder than words.

It was as if he needed the reassurance, the solidness of me beneath his hands, to convince himself I was still here. That we were still us.

His fingers tightened slightly, not enough to hurt, but enough to ground both of us in the moment.

The tension in his body gradually ebbed, though the weight of everything unsaid lingered between us.

His forehead pressed against mine with a tenderness that felt almost fragile, as if this simple touch was holding together the frayed edges of his resolve.

Finn finally pulled away. He sat on the bed and under the dim light, I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and how pale he was.

He looked utterly worn down, his exhaustion mirroring mine.

I leaned against the wall, watching him in silence. He didn’t speak, and I didn’t push him to.

Instead, I let the quiet fill the space between us, giving him time to gather his thoughts.

Finally, Finn exhaled a shaky breath and looked at me, his blue eyes glassy.

“Gabriel,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “Do you ever think about how all of this is going to end?”

The question hit me harder than I expected, like a blow I hadn’t braced for.

I crossed the room and sat beside him on the bed, close enough for our knees to touch.

“Sometimes,” I admitted. “But I try not to dwell on it. I want to focus on the now, on what I need to do in the present.”

He nodded slowly, but his gaze dropped to his hands, clasped tightly in his lap.

“I just… I don’t know if I’m strong enough for this. For all of it. Asher’s an unnecessary complication. I know my brother. He won’t stop until he returns home with me,” Fin said.

I didn’t miss the vulnerability in his voice.

Finn seemed so sure of himself earlier, but now I realized he was barely holding himself together.

Without thinking, I reached out and took his hand in mine, threading our fingers together.

“Finn, I know it feels impossible right now, but we’ll get through this,” I told him.

He looked up at me and a faint smile appeared on his lips.

“You’ve always been so reliable. I’m just worried that along the way, I’ll screw something up. Make a mistake that would cost both of us,” Finn said.

I squeezed his hand, my thumb brushing over the rough calluses on his palm.

“Mistakes are unavoidable. We’ll both probably make them together and move on,” I said.

For a moment, he just stared at me, his lips parted as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words.

Then he leaned forward, kissed me softly on the mouth.

“You always know exactly what to say,” he murmured, his breath warm against my skin.

“Not always,” I said with a small smile. “But I mean every word.”

We stayed like that for a while, finding comfort in the closeness.

Then Finn pulled back slightly, his eyes locking onto mine with an intensity I couldn’t read.

“Gabriel,” he said, his voice steady now, “I want your blood mark.”

The words hung in the air between us, heavy with meaning. Uncertainly flared inside me.

I searched his face, looking for any hesitation, any sign that he didn’t fully understand what he was asking.

“Finn,” I said carefully, “you know what that means, right? A vampire’s blood mark is permanent. There’s no undoing it.”

“I know,” he said, his gaze unwavering. “I don’t care. I want this. I want you . Forever.”

The conviction in his voice sent a rush of emotions through me. Love, fear, hope, and a deep, aching need to protect him.

I cupped his face in my hands, my thumbs brushing over his cheekbones.

“Are you sure?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything,” he replied.

For a moment, I couldn’t speak. The weight of his trust, his love, was overwhelming.

But then I nodded, my decision made. If this was what he wanted, what we wanted, then I wouldn’t deny him.

“Okay,” I said softly.

Finn’s breath hitched, and his hands gripped my wrists, holding me close.

I shifted, guiding him to lie back on the bed.

He looked up at me, his eyes shining with anticipation and something deeper. An unshakable belief in us.

I leaned down, pressing a slow, lingering kiss to his lips. His hands slid up to tangle in my hair, pulling me closer.

The world outside the room faded away, leaving only the two of us, tangled together in this moment.

I broke the kiss and moved to his neck, pressing soft kisses along the curve of his throat.

His pulse fluttered beneath my lips, quick and steady.

“This might sting,” I murmured against his skin.

“I trust you,” he whispered.

His words sent a jolt through me, and I sank my fangs into his neck, just above his collarbone.

Finn gasped, his body arching beneath mine, but he didn’t pull away.

I felt the rush of his blood, warm and electric, and then the bond snapped into place like a thread pulling taut between us.

It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. It was a deep, unshakable connection that went beyond words or thoughts.

I could feel him, his emotions swirling with mine, his love and trust wrapping around me like a shield.

When I pulled back, I licked away the lingering droplets of blood.

Finn’s breathing was uneven,, but he smiled up at me, his hand reaching up to touch the mark.

“Is it done?” he asked, voice hopeful.

I smiled, leaning down to kiss him again. “It’s done,” I said. “You’re mine now. And I’m yours.”

Finn’s smile widened, and he pulled me down into his arms.

“I love you,” he said, the words clear and certain.

“I love you too,” I replied without hesitation.