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CHAPTER FOUR

UNA

W hen my second set was done, I changed and hurried to the waiting car, anxious to get home. I lived in a small complex in Etobicoke. Mine was an older building with only sixteen units in the four-floor structure. There were three other buildings, and we shared a parking lot. We actually had trees and grass around the area, and the buildings were close to a park. It was quiet and safe, and I liked it. I didn’t own a car, but Brian used my spot. It was an easy walk to the subway, which I used daily, except for the late nights when a driver was provided to take me home. I had to admit, I was always grateful not to have to take public transit and walk home at that time of the night.

Finn had told me about the building when I’d mentioned I planned on moving, and when I went to see it, I was pleased at how nice it was. I put in an application, thrilled when I was accepted. It took me a while to realize one of his companies owned the entire complex and Finn had made sure I got this place. It was just another debt I owed him.

But right now, I was concerned about something else. Something far more severe.

Inside my apartment, I headed to Brian’s room, ignoring the dirty dishes in the sink and the leftover food containers on the counter. I knocked on his door, not bothering to wait for him to tell me to come in.

I pushed it open, snapping on the light. Brian groaned from the bed, obviously not happy about being woken up.

“Fuck, Una. I’m sleeping. Whatever it is can wait.”

I crossed the room, pushing on his shoulder. “No, it can’t.”

He rolled over, grimacing in pain. I stepped back at the sight of his bruised face.

He pulled himself up, running a hand through his hair. His chest was marked as well, wrapped in bandages, the dark bruises peeking out from the wrap.

“Holy shit,” I breathed out.

Brian reached for a cigarette, and I slapped his hand away. “I told you no smoking in the apartment.”

He rolled his eyes, picking up a piece of gum and chewing. “It’s been a bad day.”

I shook my head. “What were you thinking, Brian? Gambling?”

He huffed out a dry laugh. “Oh, so he told you, did he?”

“He did.”

He slid from the bed, holding out his arms. “Look what the bastard did.”

“He could have let the other guy punish you. You wouldn’t be standing.” I swallowed hard. “Or breathing.”

Brian waved his hand. “I had it under control. Fucking Finn had to remind me who was boss.”

I crossed my arms. “He is your boss. And mine.”

“After our father died saving his life, you would think that would give me some leeway.”

I shook my head. “He paid off your debt, Brian. Thirty-five thousand dollars. You put him in a terrible situation.”

“And he beat me.”

I had to admit, he looked terrible. “Who wrapped your ribs?”

He sat down with another grimace. “Niall had me looked at. The doc wrapped me up and gave me some painkillers.” He rubbed his eyes. “And I had to listen to Niall’s fucking lecture on how I got off lightly and I should be grateful.” He huffed an angry breath. “I still have to fucking pay the debt off. Fuck. Thirty-five K to Finn is lunch. He could have let it go.” He looked at me. “He would if you asked him, Una.”

I shook my head. “No, he wouldn’t. And I’m not asking.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Jesus, you too. I thought at least you’d take my side on this.”

I had thought so too. I was furious with Finn for beating Brian. “I tried. I offered to pay him the money I had saved, but he refused.”

Brian looked uncomfortable. “About that…”

I frowned. “About what?”

He shut his eyes. “My debt was higher.”

My blood turned cold. “Higher?”

“Yes. I paid him some with what I won at the Maple. But he added more penalties and interest since I couldn’t pay it all. I made another payment of twenty.”

“Where did you get the twenty?” I asked, my voice shaking.

He didn’t look me in the eyes. “I hacked into your computer and got into your account. I sort of borrowed it.”

I stepped back, covering my mouth with my hand and stifling the gasp. “No!”

“I was gonna pay you back, Una. I was on a streak!”

I shook my head wildly, the tears in my eyes burning. “That was for my future.”

“I’ll pay you back.”

“How?”

“I’ll figure it out.”

I wiped under my eyes, unable to believe what he’d said. Finn’s words over the years came back to me. He hated how I coddled Brian. Always took his side. Defended him. Cared for him. “He’ll drain you dry,” he once informed me.

And he was right. My own brother had stolen from me. My entire life savings. And I had a feeling he didn’t really care.

“I want you out,” I said, straightening my shoulders.

“Oh, come on, Una. I’ll get your money. You can’t throw me out. Where will I go?”

“I don’t care. Not here. And you will pay me back.” I threw out the only threat I had. “Or I’ll tell Finn you stole from me.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would. Finn’s right. I’ve been your mother too long, Brian. It’s time for you to stand on your own two feet. You have a car. And thanks to Finn, a job. Go and act like an adult. Get your own place. Move in with one of the crew you like to hang with. I don’t care.”

“Right now? You’re kicking me out right now when I can barely walk?”

“You will leave in the morning.”

“You’re being a bitch, you know that, right?” he snarled. “Dad would be so ashamed of you.”

“No, Dad would be ashamed of you. He was a man of honor. He would understand why I have to do this.”

“Would he understand you’re taking Finn’s side over mine? Your brother? He always said family first.”

I refused to let him know how his words hurt and how torn I was feeling. “You reap what you sow, Brian.”

He glared and stepped closer, wrapping his hands around my arms. He squeezed, his fingers digging into my skin. His eyes were dark and furious, his mouth curled into a sneer. My brother was gone, and in his place was the cold soldier he enjoyed being.

“Brian Joseph Murphy!” I snapped. “You’re hurting me. Stop it now!”

He let go, and I stumbled back. Never once in my life had he hurt me physically. My dad didn’t believe in hitting women, and he’d drummed that into Brian’s head.

When had that changed?

I turned and headed to the door, my voice shaking. “You’re gone in the morning.”

* * *

He left before eight, the slamming of the door echoing behind him. He tore his room apart, leaving a mess behind him, acting like a petulant child. He had lots of names for me, cursing and constantly muttering between his groans. I was tense until he left, unsure if he would try to hurt me again. I rushed to the door and locked it behind him, engaging the dead bolt, then let out a shaky breath as I leaned my head on the wood.

I’d barely slept all night, upset and worried. More than once, I reached for my phone to call Finn, but I stopped myself. Brian was on his phone, hitting up his mates for a place to stay, no doubt calling me more names as he spoke.

He’d barely looked at me as he left, tossing his key to the table.

“Thanks for nothing,” he’d muttered.

I slumped in my chair, my cup of tea growing cold on the table beside me. I rested my head in my hand, feeling weary and emotional. Drained. More than once, I glanced at my runners, thinking I needed to go and pound the pavement for a while. It always helped clear my head. But I was too tired to bother.

Memories of Brian when we were young played in my head. Before Mum died, even with what Dad did as a job, we were just a normal family. Brian doted on me. Everyone did. I was the baby. He was my big brother, and I adored him. When Mum died, it changed somehow, and he acted younger than I was. Less caring. More dependent. And I allowed it, needing to channel my grief into some other place. I did it by caring for him and Dad.

I spent the day wandering my apartment, straightening the guest room, doing laundry. I wasn’t hungry, but I had some tea and crackers midafternoon, knowing I had to go to the hotel and sing that night. Normally, Fridays and Saturdays were my happy days. I got to perform. Let my voice loose and enjoy. But today, I was finding no joy, only obligation.

But as they said, the show must go on. I showered and dressed casually, walking to the subway and sitting in the back row, the car mercifully empty for this time of day. As the stops rolled past, I recalled meeting with Finn for dinner after my father’s funeral, his offer.

“I bought a hotel. Two, actually,” he informed me.

“Oh. I had no idea you were interested in that sort of business.”

He smiled at me as he poured us some wine. We had met at a small restaurant, Finn not pleased that I wouldn’t allow him to pick me up. But I was trying to draw a line somewhere. It was hard to remember that, though, while he sat across from me, his dress shirt stretched tightly over his chest and arms and the sleeves rolled up, exposing his strong forearms. He looked good. Better than good. The schoolgirl crush I’d had on him all those years was still there, only now, it was tinged with the awareness of adulthood. I understood the glances he stole when he thought I wasn’t looking. The frank approval in his eyes as he watched me. The flare of desire I caught on occasion when I would laugh or tap my bottom lip. He watched me intently, making me feel as if I was the only person in the room. He didn’t seem to notice other women staring at him.

I had to admit, I liked it.

“I don’t think you know much about me, Una.” He paused as he set down the bottle. “Yet.”

The one word was laden with promise. I had to clench my hands on my lap to stop the tremble that went through me.

“And these hotels?” I asked. “Where are they?”

“Both here. In Toronto. They are smaller boutique hotels that have been mismanaged. I’ve hired new staff and done a lot of renovations.” He took a drink of wine, studying me. “I’d like you to come work for me. Help me run them.”

I almost sputtered. “I’m still learning myself.”

He chuckled. “I’ve followed you, Una. Top of your class. The first hotel you went to, you rose up fast. Your old employer sang your praises. Hated that he lost you.”

I sighed. “I wish I hadn’t left.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to work for Embers. The hotel had such a good reputation. But my manager is horrible. So terrified someone will surpass or replace her that she micromanages everything. The first word out of her mouth ninety percent of the time is no. She resents the fact that Alison, the hotel owner, handpicked me and offered me a position just under her. I’m getting nowhere—except frustrated.”

“Then accept my offer.”

“How do I know it would be different?”

He crossed his ankle over his knee, meeting my eyes. “I guarantee it would be, Una. I expect you to work hard and take advantage of the opportunity. You will learn under a great mentor. Then when you’re ready, I’ll send you to the next hotel in a higher position. I want to give you the opportunities you deserve.”

“Why?” I asked, my voice suddenly breathless.

He sipped his wine, his gaze never leaving my face. “Because I saw the spark in you years ago. It’s still there, but it’s dimming. I want to bring it back to life.” He set down his glass. “And I want to be part of your life.”

“Finn,” I whispered.

“I want to ask you out again. Only this time, not to offer you a job.”

“I don’t want to be involved with someone who is…” I trailed off, unsure how to explain.

“Date me , not my choice of living,” he said.

“Are the two not connected?”

“Give me a chance.” He slid his hand along the table, taking mine. “You feel that, Una? That connection? It was there when you were eighteen. So strong that I had to stay away. But it’s still there, and we’re both adults now.”

My heart beat rapidly and my breathing picked up. I felt it too. He had woken something in me all those years ago. An awareness. A craving that had never been satisfied. The moment he took my hand, something in my chest eased. The second I walked away from him, the ache started. I was too young then to understand, but I understood it now. And I wanted him.

I had sensed him the entire time at my father’s funeral. Watching me. Staying close. Always looking. Every time I glanced around the room, I met his intense gaze. Knew when he was close. Felt sad when he left and took that intensity with him. It was as if my soul needed him. As if I needed him.

“I don’t know if I can.” I swore I would never date anyone in the syndicate. Never get close to one of the men.

“Do you hate me because of your father?”

“No,” I gasped. “My father made his decision long ago. I disliked it, but it was part of him. I just don’t know if I want it to be part of me. If I could live in a world where the person I cared about was in danger all the time. It destroyed my mother.”

“Give us a chance. My life is mostly nonviolent. I am careful. My men are careful. We want peace.”

“Tell that to the bullet that hit my father.”

He frowned. “That was a disgruntled, drugged-up asshole looking for revenge. It’s not a daily occurrence.” He paused. “Things have changed, Una.”

I sighed, making the mistake of meeting his eyes. They were locked on me. Intense, passionate, and focused. I wanted to feel that intensity every day. Give in to the hunger he brought out in me. Rethink the rule I had set for myself so long ago. Somehow, I knew he would be worth it.

“Okay,” I whispered.

“To the job or me?” he asked.

“To the job,” I replied. I knew it was time to leave Embers. Audrey Ford would never be the mentor I hoped.

“And this?” he asked, indicating our hands.

I looked down, realizing I was clutching on to him with both hands as if he was a lifeline.

“You know you hold all the power here, mo chroí .”

I swallowed. “We can try.”

His smile said it all. “Perfect.”

* * *

I stepped from the stage amid the loud applause. I had laid my heart out on the stage tonight. Let my pain bleed out through the lyrics. I sensed Finn during the second show, but he was gone before I finished. I made my way to the dressing room, wanting nothing more than to change and head home. Soak in the tub with a dram of whiskey. Not the posh kind Finn and Niall drank, but reliable Jameson. It never let me down.

I walked into the room, knowing he was there before I flicked on the light.

“Finn,” I said wearily. “Not tonight, please.”

He sat in the corner, his presence once again filling the space. “You look exhausted. What’s wrong?”

With a sigh, I sat at my table, making quick work of removing my makeup. I wore it lightly at work, but under the bright lights of the stage in the music room, I needed more. I disliked it. I was silent until I scrubbed off the last of it, changing behind the privacy screen in the corner. My yoga pants and soft shirt touched my overheated skin gently. I felt as if my nerves were on the outside of my body, and I was worried about breaking down in front of Finn. I refused to do that.

“You got your wish,” I finally replied, sitting back at the table, smoothing on some moisturizer. “Brian moved out this morning.”

“Good riddance.”

I turned on him, angry. “If you dislike him so much, why do you keep him on?”

“He’s a decent soldier. He could be great if he applied himself. But he was used to riding around on your dad’s coattails. And you coddling him. Being on his own will be good for him.”

“Whatever you say, Finn.” I reached for my sweater when Finn cursed and shot out of the chair, dropping to his knees in front of me. He took my arm, turning and inspecting it.

“What the hell,” he muttered. “Who—” He stopped speaking, his eyes narrowing, his mouth a slash of anger on his face. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”

I stood, shaking off his grip. “You are going to leave him alone. Do you hear me? We had an argument. I kicked him out. He grabbed me, and I bruise easily.”

Finn stood, towering over me. “He laid hands on you. That is punishable by death. I don’t care if he’s your brother.”

“You hurt him, and I will walk, Finn. Out of this hotel, out of this city. You will never see me again, do you understand?”

Pain flashed over his face.

“Leave it. It’s between him and me. It’s done.”

“I can’t stand the thought of you hurt,” he admitted.

“Taking your side over his hurt me. Kicking him out hurt me. I’m tired and drained, Finn. I can’t do this with you. Not tonight. Not right now.”

I reached for my purse, but he stopped me, dragging me into his arms. His warmth, his scent, wrapped around me. I could hear his heartbeat under my ear, the steady thump soothing. I felt the gentleness in his touch. The pressure of his lips moving on my head as he offered me the only comfort I could accept. For a moment, I relaxed. Melted into him. Nothing mattered outside this moment. This room.

I lifted my head, our gazes clashing. I recalled everything from our past, every moment of our brief interludes. Time seemed to melt away in that instant. I was caught in the intensity of his eyes, the pain and desire that swirled in them.

Then his mouth was on mine, and I was transported back in time. To the first kiss we shared. The intimacy of the moment. The possession of his mouth. The passion he brought out in me. I whimpered as I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he lifted me, still kissing, his tongue twisting and dancing with mine. He licked deep into my mouth, groaning. I gripped the back of his neck, the need for him becoming overwhelming.

Then my phone rang and shattered the moment. I startled, pushing back, and he set me on my feet. “That’ll be my driver.”

“Let me send him away.”

Clarity hit me. I could nod, and in minutes, Finn would have me upstairs in his suite. We’d be naked and all over each other in no time.

And I would be caught.

I stepped back, reaching for my purse. “No. I can’t.”

He pushed his hands into his pockets. “I know.”

“I’m sorry,” I offered.

Then once again, I ran from Finn O’Reilly.