Page 32

Chapter 32

Ava

I wake up several hours later, feeling wrung out like a rag.

It’s not a bad worn out. But wow, I’ve never been this tired in my life before. I have no idea how long I’ve been asleep, but the light coming in through the windows and the shadows spilling across the floor tell me that it’s been several hours.

All around me, the men are sprawled out like a bunch of puppies, dead to the world. I smile fondly, observing them for a moment. Watching how they sleep.

That was far more satisfying than I ever realized sex could be. My desperation was matched by their enthusiasm and skill, and I swore if my body wasn’t so exhausted, I’d still be humming with pleasure.

Ethan’s at my back, and when I roll over to check on him, I find myself nose-to-nose with him. Unlike the others, his green eyes are open.

He smiles at me, slow and sly. “How’re you feeling?” he murmurs.

“Exhausted,” I reply. “But… good. It’s a good tired.”

The arm he has draped over my waist allows him to press his hand to my back and trace his fingers up and down my skin in nonsense patterns. It’s soothing, and I let my eyes slip closed again, drifting.

“You should eat something,” Ethan whispers, still keeping his voice low not to wake the others.

I don’t want the others to wake up, either. They gave it their all taking care of me. We had another round of sex, and I honestly lost track of how many orgasms I had. It was all just a blur of sex and skin.

It’s amazing, but I’m sure it’s tired them out. And it’s only a matter of time until my body demands another knot and more orgasms. We have to take advantage of the break while it lasts and let them rest.

“Yeah,” I agree quietly. I didn’t notice it before, but now that Ethan’s mentioned food, I feel starving. Like I haven’t eaten in days.

This is why I was loading up on all those carbs the last couple weeks. I really did need them.

“I’ll be right back,” Ethan promises. He nuzzles into me, scenting me again and letting me scent him, as if he can read my mind and knows how important this is to me right now.

It’s weird, in this heat haze, how much I instinctively know about myself. I know that right now, I’m content and happy, being touched by my Alphas and surrounded by the smell of them. But I’m also aware of how quickly that will morph into panic if I don’t have their scents, or their touch. It’s important to keep reaffirming that.

Ethan kisses me on the forehead and slips away, making no noise as he pads out of the room like a wolf on the prowl. I laugh a little realizing he didn’t grab any clothes on his way out. It’s not the most scandalous thing we’ve ever done, given all the crazy sex we just had, but it still amuses me anyway.

I cuddle back into the other three Alphas while I wait and ignore my rumbling stomach. They’re heavy and warm, completely passed out, and I like watching how they breathe and sleep differently.

Caleb’s curled up a bit, almost but not quite the fetal position, while Garrett is splayed out like a starfish, which is hilarious. Dante’s on his back, hands resting lightly on his stomach, like he read somewhere that it’s good for your back and trained himself into it. It wouldn’t surprise me, honestly. It would fit him perfectly to do something like that.

I snuggle against them, letting myself drift in and out of a doze. A few moments later, I hear the door open softly. I sit up, still in the middle of a tangle of limbs, to see Ethan entering with a tray of food.

My mouth waters as the smells hit me. I hate to leave my puppy pile, but I also don’t want to spill hot food on someone’s skin or stain the sheets. Those are already on their way to being ruined anyway. No need to make it worse.

I climb carefully over the men to sit on the floor, on the deliciously soft rug that I picked out. Now that my heat is in full swing, all the little things that had me anxious and fretting about my room don’t bother me anymore. In fact I feel pleased with myself, proud of my choices and my nest.

Ethan kneels and sets the tray down in my lap, then sits next to me, draping his arm over my shoulders. I’m practically drooling over the food.

Dante truly made a lot of food in advance for this, more food than I think we can actually eat during my heat, but I think he would rather be prepared than risk me being even the slightest bit hungry.

In front of me is delicious tomato bisque with rice, one of my favorite comfort foods growing up. I remember I told Dante about it when he was asking me what my favorite meals are.

“My parents worked multiple jobs,” I tell him. “I usually had to fend for myself for meals. And it was easy to warm up a couple cans of Campbell’s tomato soup and cook some rice in a steamer.”

Ethan also took one of the pre-made sandwiches that Dante made, this one cheese, tomato, and bacon, and put it in the panini maker, and the freshly made sandwich makes my mouth water. The cheese is perfectly melty, the bread is crispy, and the bacon is sizzling.

I scarf down the food hungrily, struggling not to choke or burn my tongue as I eat.

Ethan watches me fondly, arching a brow when I take too big of a bite. “Careful there, gorgeous. You can slow down and enjoy it.”

“I am enjoying it,” I point out, and I’m not lying. It really does taste absolutely amazing. Dante’s a fantastic cook and this truly does make me feel the way that I’d always hoped it would when I was a kid. I hadn’t had parents to comfort me and make me food after the long cold walk home from school in winter, so I did it for myself.

“Dante said he made some of your favorites,” Ethan says. “What makes this one of them?”

“You know how I said my parents weren’t really… close with me?”

He nods.

“You know, growing up, people would say that was just how Betas are. But I’ve met plenty of wonderful, nurturing Betas who love their kids. They aren’t naturally distant.” I sigh. “Is it mean of me to say that I think my parents were just… kind of assholes?”

Ethan claps a hand over his mouth to muffle his outburst of laughter. I can feel his body shake since he’s pressed up against my side. “No, I think that’s understandable.”

“They weren’t abusive,” I add quickly. “They just weren’t there and they never really… like if I’d done sports they never would’ve shown up to a game.”

Ethan nods, understanding in his eyes.

“I had to fend for myself a lot,” I say quietly. I continue to eat my food, and it continues to be delicious, but there’s now a bit of a lump in my throat. “They never made meals, they were always working. I packed my own lunch for school, ate cereal every morning, and learned how to make myself dinner.”

“Boxed mac n’ cheese?”

“And Chef Boyardee,” I add.

Ethan chuckles.

“I remember one time, it was snowing out, and I was sad having to come home to a cold, empty house. And my friend was excited because she knew when she got home, her dad would have made her tomato soup with rice, and a grilled cheese sandwich.”

Ethan nods, and I shrug. “It’s a simple meal for a parent to make. I think every family has their own version, some easy comfort meal for their kids on a cold day. But it stuck in my mind, because even if it wasn’t a big deal to that dad… it was to me. The idea of someone loving you enough to make you a nice hot meal.”

“Dante doesn’t talk about it much,” Ethan says. “You know how he is. But I know he loves us, every time he cooks for us. Every morning I get downstairs and he’s making breakfast. He packs us food. When we eat out or order delivery it’s usually to give him a break.”

That makes me chuckle. I can easily see how it would take some cajoling to get Dante to admit he needs a night off.

Then I sober up.

“Every time I made myself that meal,” I whisper, “it was trying to comfort myself. Trying to love myself, because my parents didn’t.” I sigh. “Okay, maybe that’s harsh. They took care of me financially. As best they could. I know they had to work so much to make ends meet. But even when they were around…”

“It was like they weren’t there,” Ethan finishes.

I nod.

Ethan leans back against the bed. “I get it. Kind of. My situation was a little different. I literally didn’t have parents.”

I inhale sharply. Ethan gives me a rueful smile, one corner of his mouth turning up. It’s like a bittersweet version of his usual smirk. “Yeah. They died when I was a teenager. And I was on my own, pretty much. Bounced from place to place.”

I take his hand and squeeze it, resting my head on his shoulder so that he can feel me.

“For a long time I craved a pack, so when I found these guys… I was ecstatic.” Ethan shakes his head at himself. “I couldn’t quite believe it was real. Actually having pack mates? People who would have my back no matter what? It felt like a miracle.”

I smile fondly. Ethan sounds so happy and delighted with his pack, and I can’t blame him. These four men make me happy too, happier than I could’ve ever imagined. But it’s sweet and reassuring to see the wonder I feel reflected in Ethan’s face.

“But even while I… I got confident in our pack, I didn’t really expect us to find an Omega.”

That surprises me. My eyebrows fly up. “But you’re all amazing,” I blurt out. “Why wouldn’t any Omega want to be with you?”

Ethan, for the first time since I’ve met him, looks bashful. Bashful is more Caleb’s realm, but Ethan’s blushing and ducking his eyes down. It’s adorable.

“Garrett told you about his family.”

I nod.

“And, well, we’ve been so focused on the company. And it wasn’t so much that we thought no Omega would want us. But… I think we wanted to meet an Omega the old-fashioned way. We didn’t want to go to what felt like an auction. Like we were bidding on pieces of art.”

Ethan smirks. “Although…” He tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear, his fingertips trailing down the curve of my jaw. “You are beautiful enough to be a piece of art.”

I can feel my face heating up. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

He pulls away and gestures for me to finish eating. I do, knowing that I won’t have much time left before the heat takes over again.

“I wanted an Omega so badly,” Ethan admits, his voice serious in a way that he rarely gets. “I was scared of how much I wanted it, honestly. More than any of the others. And I worried that we’d never find someone who would be a match for us. The others worried about it too, I know, but I think they used to talk about it when I wasn’t around so that they wouldn’t upset me.”

“I understand.”

“They like to look out for me. Just like I want to look out for them.”

I finish eating and set the tray aside. That food was amazing. I’m sure that everything else Dante’s prepared ahead of time for me will be just as delicious. I feel so well cared-for in a way that I didn’t think was possible even in my wildest dreams.

“I know what you mean.” I gesture to the empty tray I just set aside. “I hope that I’ll be able to take care of you four the way you’re taking care of me.”

Ethan kisses me gently. “I’m sure you will.”

“And I hope you know… I’m not… that special…”

“Yes, you are.” His voice is fierce. “Maybe your parents didn’t make you feel that way, but that’s their loss. We are lucky to have you, gorgeous. You’re a wonderful Omega. You’re the missing piece that I didn’t even know we needed. I wanted an Omega. Of course I did. But I had no idea what you could bring to us, how you could complete us.”

I nuzzle into him, lying back and pulling him down with me to lie beside me so that we can cuddle properly, our legs tangled together. My heart breaks to know that he lost his family so young, even as it rejoices that he found the other Alphas to make a new family with.

But I’m also grateful and blown away by how much he cares about me. I hadn’t dreamed that we’d have so much in common when I first met him at the club. Even after he rescued me, Ethan gave me the impression of this confident, devil-may-care kind of man.

Even as I’ve gotten to know him better, I didn’t know that out of all of them, he was the one who wanted an Omega the most.

I love that he’s letting me see this vulnerable side of him. That I’m really getting to know every part of him, and of the other three.

“For years I was hiding who I was,” I whisper. “So I couldn’t get close to anyone. I was too scared. I left my parents behind, but I didn’t get a chance to replace them, to find that new family the way you did.”

Tears spring into my eyes, and Ethan gently wipes them away. “Until now,” I add.

And I mean it.

All of my fear is gone. There’s nothing but trust and love. I feel so very loved. I didn’t know it was possible to be like this, and for the first time, I’m grateful that everything happened the way it did. If fate hadn’t played its tricks, I wouldn’t have these wonderful Alphas becoming my new home.

Heat and warmth bloom in Ethan’s eyes, and he kisses me. Desire blooms in my chest again, sliding down my spine and settling between my legs, and I smile against his lips as he seems to read my unspoken thoughts.

I think we’re done talking for now .