Page 10 of Finding Tane (Foggy Basin Season Two)

Dillon

I was distracted all morning.

No wonder why. I was torn between the joyful memories of the night before and the frankly shocking encounter with Tane’s manager first thing.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the sneer on the man’s face, the way he’d looked at Tane like he was nothing.

Not a person, but a meal ticket, a money-earner and nothing more.

It was revolting, that someone could look at another human that way. It was especially horrible that it was Tane. Tane, who was sweet, and a little shy despite all his fame and success. Tane who made delicious bread and had bonded with my little sister.

“You want me to take over at the till?” Christian asked after I’d been there an hour, brooding and glaring out the window.

“I’m fine,” I snapped at him. I instantly regretted it. Christian was being sweet and trying to help. “Sorry, yes, that’d be great. I’ll go... look at the takings or something.”

I retreated to the backroom and fussed with the things on my desk. They all seemed to be out of place, somehow. I tidied what I could.

It wasn’t enough. I still felt out-of-sorts and angry.

Well, I knew why. I fired off a quick text to Tane asking how he was doing.

I made myself a cup of coffee. Then brought up my financial spreadsheets and sales reports.

Things weren’t going well.

I frowned at the spreadsheet. I hadn’t noticed a particular drop off in customers, but it appeared people weren’t buying as much as they used to? I wondered if there was something at work I didn’t know about. Did we need to sign up to Instacart or something like that? Who’d do the deliveries?

But maybe people were ordering stuff in from the next town?

Why would they do that?

Did they miss my parents that much?

I glanced at the pinboard where Mom and Dad’s latest postcard looked back at me, judging.

There was something wrong. Had I made too much of a change by ordering in new kinds of food?

I couldn’t work it out.

Around midday, Ivy came into the backroom. Her face was uncharacteristically blank.

“Dill, I need to talk to you.” Her voice was tense, and when I searched her eyes I could see something serious had happened. I pushed my chair back from the desk and looked up at her.

“Yeah? Here or do you want to go grab a coffee?”

“Here’s fine.” Ivy grabbed the spare stool and straddled it. She took a deep breath. “Dillon, I need to tell you something.”

I bit my lip, suddenly worried. Our parents were away and Ivy had come to me with something deadly serious. Was she pregnant? What would I do? I barely contained myself from blurting out ‘I’ll look after your baby!’, I didn’t want to jump to conclusions.

“Uh huh,” I said instead.

Ivy hesitated further and I realised I could be more supportive of whatever she was going through. “I’m here for you, baby sister.”

Ivy took a heavy, loaded breath. “That’s… well, that's just it. Dillon, I…"

She hesitated. I bit my lip. I didn't want to force her to say anything she wasn't ready to say. But I didn't want to butt in either. I nodded, trying to encourage her.

"I don’t think I’m your sister.”

I blinked. What could she mean? Were our parents not our parents? Was she adopted? No, there was no chance. I remember Mom being pregnant with her.

“What... what do you mean?”

“Dill, I think I’m trans. I’ve been feeling a sort of way lately, and things are grating on me, and I think... I think I’m your baby brother.”

Relief flooded me. No baby to worry about.

Ivy, however, needed my full support right then. I took both of her... no, his hands in mine. His pronouns were he/him now. I adjusted my thinking.

“Okay. You’re my baby brother. Do you have a new name I should call you?”

Ivy blinked at me. Then swallowed. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say?”

“Uh, yeah?” I shuffled my chair closer to him. “I love you, you’re my sibling, and that won’t change even if you do. I mean, you didn’t freak out when I told you I was gay, did you?”

Ivy teared up, his face contorting into a picture of misery. He threw his arms around me and sobbed. “You’re the best brother ever!”

I hugged him tight, smiling a little to myself.

I was pretty sure I’d nailed that conversation.

Ivy was crying but surely it was from relief.

Coming out, as I knew, was always a vulnerable experience.

It was impossible to predict how someone would react to your announcement, and any kind of rejection could be devastating, especially from a family member.

After a while Ivy pulled away, yanking a tissue out from his pocket to mop at his face. “Fuck. That was scary.”“Yeah, I bet.” I grabbed my water bottle and handed it to him. “Drink.”

“Thanks.” Ivy took a deep swig and then smacked his lips. “You’re so cool.”

I smiled at him. “How about I take the afternoon off, leave Christian in charge and take you to Hartsville?”

Ivy blinked. “Hartsville?”

“Yeah it’s the closest department store. We can get you new clothes and pajamas and stuff.”

Ivy teared up again, bent forward and buried his face in his hands.

I patted his back, got up and went to check that Christian was okay with sole charge. “Bit of a family emergency, nothing bad, just... Ivy needs me.”

Christian nodded and smiled his easy-going smile. “No worries. I’ll lock up with the spare key, take care.”

I drove the thirty miles to Hartsville, the biggest closest town, and Ivy told me about his journey — feeling not quite right about his gender, researching online and talking with some friends who had already transitioned at the university.

He didn’t need me to say much, just affirm him and say I understood, and I could tell he needed to off-load all of this. Neither of us brought up our parents. I sensed it was a bit too soon for that.

I parked at Target and we went inside, grabbing a cart. I led him straight to the Menswear section.

“How do we start?”

“Start with the basics. Underwear first, then pants, then shirts.” I nodded, confident. “It just makes sense.”

“I’m glad I have you, Dill. I don’t think I’d be brave enough to do this on my own.” He glanced around and I shook my head.

“Trust me, no one cares what you buy. And this is a good, cheap way to work out what kind of style you want. Uh, by the way, you never told me if you have a new name?”

“Name’s are hard,” Ivy said. “I’m toying with a few options, I want to keep the plant theme... maybe Briar, or Aster?”

“Those are both excellent options. Just take your time, you don’t want to pick something that doesn’t sit right.”

Ivy nodded and I led him to the men’s underwear section. “Go ahead, pick whatever.”

Ivy bit his lip and started sorting through boxer briefs. “How do I know my size?”

“I’d guess you’re a small.”

Ivy started loading things into the cart. I added a pack of simple white T-shirts for myself in large, Ivy noticed, and grabbed the same pack but in small. My heart thumped.

“Onto jeans, I have no idea of sizing there, so you’ll need to try on some other options.”

I checked on my phone a couple of times, but Tane never replied. Thinking about Tane, or the sales at the shop was too much. When I tried to, my brain just clouded over with static.

Whatever. I have a little brother now.

I focussed on Ivy. Ivy needed me. I could be there for Ivy.