Page 20

TWENTY

LANDRY

I shrugged. “Changed my mind. Figured I’ve let you choose for the past nine hundred and eighty-four days.”

The air seemed impossibly thin, useless for breathing. Fear clawed at my ribs. But there was no way I was giving him the opportunity to make the wrong decision here.

I knew Kenji cared about me. That wasn’t the problem. But loving someone didn’t always mean you could build a life with them. And sometimes pushing too much, too soon, broke things beyond repair.

But I’d come too far to back out now. I had one move left. I’d already sacrificed my pawns, and now, I was advancing my queen—risking everything for the endgame.

I pinned him with my eyes as I stepped closer. “That’s enough days, Kenji. And you’re a terrible chooser.”

He dropped the roses and leapt at me, wrapping his arms and legs around me so fast I nearly lost my balance. I barely managed to catch him, locking my arms around him as he clung tight.

Our kiss was fierce, a battle of lips and breath neither of us wanted to win. I spared a fleeting thought for the poor tailor who’d custom-made Kenji’s suit before I tore it off without remorse. Within moments, he was on his back in the center of the bed, naked as the day he was born. His long black hair fanned across the pristine white pillows, his chest rising in rapid, uneven bursts.

He tugged on a strand of my hair. “I’ve always wanted to see you as a brunet.”

“You’d hate me with my natural color,” I said absently, leaning down to tease his nipple with my tongue.

He threaded his fingers through my hair. “Brunets have a more classic look.”

Something about those words sounded familiar. I pulled back and met his eyes. “The Armani contract,” I said, realization hitting. “I thought you were mocking my blond hair.”

He smiled. “I wanted you to go brown. I was trying to be subtle.”

I gaped at him. “There’s such a thing as too subtle, asshole! Why didn’t you just say, ‘Hey, I think you’d look like a Greek god if you?—’”

Kenji cut me off with a hard kiss, tumbling me onto my back. I wrapped my arms around his slim frame, hands roaming over his smooth skin. His hard cock brushed against mine, and I arched up, chasing more.

“Do you want to fuck me, Kenji?” I teased softly between kisses. “Press me into this bed and have your bossy way with me?” It wouldn’t be the first time, but it wasn’t my usual preference.

His hair fell around us like a curtain, cutting off the rest of the world.

“I just want to make you feel good,” Kenji said, his eyes full of something so tender it made me feel warm and restless all at once.

I reached up, threading my fingers through his hair, imagining what we would look like together if I let my hair go brown again.

And then it hit me— I could . No modeling contracts to uphold, no secret noble identity to hide. I could be myself in front of the world, live fully in the light.

But what I wanted most was to be right here, with Kenji.

“What do you want?” he whispered like he could see my thoughts taking shape. “Landry? What’s your fantasy?”

I studied him. My fantasy?

It wasn’t a position or an act. It was this . It was him . Being with me. Wanting me—not just physically but in every way. It was Kenji Toma saying he loved me.

His hair was silk between my fingers as I pulled him down to kiss him deeply. His hard shaft slid against mine, his balls brushing against me. Our chests and bellies pressed together as I wrapped my other arm around his back, holding him close.

I kissed him until I couldn’t see straight. Until three years of longing blurred into something softer, something real. Until his nose turned pink and his lips were swollen from my stubble. Until he melted against me, pliant in my arms.

Until his taste was imprinted on my tongue and my wildfire need for him dulled to a steady burn, one spark away from an inferno.

“Nrgh,” Kenji said breathlessly. “ Nhnnh .”

His eyes were dazed and half-lidded. He lay on his back, legs twisted with mine, my thumb tracing idle patterns on his chest and shoulders.

“ You are my fantasy,” I admitted. I leaned over to follow the path of my thumb with small, teasing kisses. “And making you say dopey words is one of my kinks.”

“Please,” he breathed as I moved lower, his cock hard and leaking.

I took him into my mouth, teasing the head with my tongue until he was back to intelligible sounds.

And then I took him apart piece by piece with my mouth and throat, with my fingers and thumb, with every shred of love I’d ever felt for him.

I sucked and fucked him until we were both wrecked, sticky and spent, and then I half carried him into the bathroom for a hot shower, washing him clean with the same reverence I’d just worshipped him with.

When we didn’t fall asleep immediately after settling back into the bed together, I decided to ask the question he’d dodged earlier in the week at the brunch spectacle.

“Why didn’t you take the Deloitte offer?”

I’d always wondered why someone as smart and capable as Kenji had stayed with us all these years. Yes, we paid him an astronomical salary, but we’d also worried he wouldn’t be content to be known as an assistant forever, no matter how much money he made.

He snuggled into my side, the dim city light outside casting just enough glow for me to make out his relaxed expression.

“The five of you were way more fun. And you paid me an obscene amount of money to fly around the world with a rock star, a supermodel, and various and sundry other billionaires.” He stretched, voice lazy. “I weighed that against the corporate culture they were offering, and you guys won hands down. Do you have any idea how much action my hookup apps got during those early years because of my association with you and Zane? Almost as much as yours did.”

I pinched his side lightly, and he laughed low and easy, which settled me more than the sex and shower combined.

“I didn’t hook up nearly as much as you thought I did,” I admitted.

His smile faded into confusion. “You did. I’m the one who arranged the NDAs, remember?”

I sighed, debating how much truth to reveal… but I was done with lies where Kenji was concerned. “Half those times, I was actually working on Davencourt business or traveling back here and needed a cover story. The other half, I was probably asleep before the deed was even done. Hiding all of this wasn’t easy, Kenj.”

His expression softened. He propped himself on an elbow. “I can’t imagine how isolated you felt.” He paused. “I wish you’d told someone. I mean, I wish you’d told me , but if it couldn’t be me, then someone .”

I tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. “I wanted to tell you,” I admitted. A chuckle escaped as I remembered one of the times I’d chickened out. “Do you remember when Silas met Way and decided to pretend he was broke?”

“Of course. It made me very uncomfortable. The lies were impossible to keep track of. And it’s not easy hiding that kind of wealth. It shows in every clothing choice. The way you move through the world.”

“Right. Well, during that time, I said something like, ‘Surely Way will forgive Silas if he cares about him,’ and you said, ‘Lying about something that important is a sign of lack of trust.’”

“It is ,” Kenji cried. “It was ! We didn’t know Way then, and we were talking about his legal claim on half a billion dollars!”

I nodded. “And then you said Silas was lucky Way was so forgiving because you weren’t sure you would be.”

Kenji grimaced but sat up, crossing his legs. “And that’s true. Imagine you begin to care about someone and find out a decade later they didn’t trust you with an entire part of themselves.”

The vulnerability in his voice made my heart ache, even as it soared at his quiet admission of affection.

“I’m sorry, Kenji. I’m sorry I kept something so important from you.” I shifted, sitting up against the headboard. “Part of me worried that if I began to talk about it in my American life, it would make it real and bring this timeline closer when I wasn’t ready. Mostly, I was terrified my lies would confirm every negative thought you had about me and you’d be done with me for good.”

Kenji moved closer, pulling our joined hands into his lap, above the duvet he’d yanked over our legs. “I was hurt when I found out,” he admitted. “I thought it meant I wasn’t important enough or that you didn’t trust me.”

“It was the exact opposite—” I began, but he stopped me with a smile and a raised hand.

“I know neither of those things are true. I overheard you talking to Zane on the phone, and I get it now.” He took a breath. “Being here at Hawling House with your family—flipping through photo albums and hearing stories—makes me realize just how lonely it must have been. Your parents were so much older than everyone else’s, which probably added to the formality and the weight of expectation on you. Even at Eton, you would have been surrounded by social pressure based purely on who you were, not how you were.”

Kenji squeezed my fingers. “No wonder you were so afraid to tell us.”

“I’d never had friends like the guys before,” I admitted, feeling thready vestiges of that fear even saying it out loud. “What if they’d turned out to be like all the snobby assholes I’d grown up with? And it wasn’t just my surname. People in the peerage judged me for having an American mother, too. As Zane’s gran would say, ‘I couldn’t win for losin’.’ And then, once I knew they were good guys, I was terrified of losing them because I’d lied.”

“You never actually lied.” Kenji arched an eyebrow. “Believe me, I raked through my memories, trying to build a liar-liar case against you, and I came up empty. However , I will now be submitting those fake hookup NDAs as exhibits one through ten thousand. Asshole.”

I pulled him into my lap, wrapping my arms around him as he straddled me. “I plead guilty,” I said softly. “If you need more evidence, I also lied every time I acted like I was okay with a purely physical relationship with you.”

Kenji bit his lip. “Then it’s my turn to apologize.”

“What the hell for?” I asked, surprised.

“I never gave you a chance because I misjudged you. I thought you were reckless and shallow. A playboy who’d never commit, never take anything seriously, never be capable of devotion to his family. I was wrong. Impossibly wrong. And I’m sorry.” His gaze roamed over my face. “I’m also sorry my rescue moved up your timeline.”

I cupped his face and kissed him softly. “Nan was already pressuring me to come back. My dad needs to retire. They wouldn’t have been able to wait much longer.” I shrugged. “It was always going to happen at some point.”

“It’s your choice, Landry.” Kenji hesitated like he wanted to say more but instead gave me a brilliant smile. “But if it’s what you want, then I’m fucking here for it. I can help you accomplish your legacy, leave your own mark. You’ll make an excellent MP, and I will make an excellent MP’s spouse.” He straightened, all business. “If you need to see my CV, I have extensive experience supporting great men’s careers. Public relations, event planning, charitable endeavors, scheduling… I do it all.” His smile turned mischievous. “Even the occasional posting of bail.”

I barked out a laugh. “That was one time, Kenji. And there?—”

“Three times, Landry,” he sighed. “Three. What the fuck? How do you not remember being arrested two out of three times in your life?”

I ticked them off on my fingers. “The first didn’t count because the airline decided not to press charges in the end.”

“They banned you for life!”

I scrunched up my face. “Yet they’ll still take my money for your first-class seats. Don’t think I didn’t notice and write them a strongly worded letter.”

“And the second?” he asked, unable to keep from rolling his eyes.

“That’s the one you actually posted bail for. And there were… extenuating circumstances.” I deliberately didn’t explain further. “As for the third and most recent, you weren’t even there. And that one I also had a good reason for, if you’ll recall. I was trying to let Zane get into a little trouble without getting into a lot of trouble like he wanted.”

“Go back to the middle one,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “Tell me what really happened. I always had a sense there was more to that story.”

I scratched my neck and moved him off my lap. It was easier to focus when I wasn’t distracted by his body. “Remember the Vencari contract a few years ago? The one where I did a catalog cover shoot, then Milan Fashion Week, then a shoot for a big formalwear ad spread?”

He frowned, trying to place it.

“And then suddenly, they added a swimsuit shoot and tried to pretend it was a language mix-up?”

I could tell by the sudden twitch of his jaw he remembered. “That guy was an ass, and your agent was even worse. Wasn’t that the job that led to you hiring Lamar?”

I nodded. “That guy—the one who hired me, not my old agent—cornered me in a hotel room and tried to have his wicked way with me. I decided to turn it into a fistfight instead.”

Kenji stared at me. “Please, baby. Please tell me you’re pulling my leg right now.”

I shrugged. “Wish I was.”

“Why? Why didn’t you say something? Call the guy out? Burn his career to the ground!”

My little hellcat was practically vibrating with the urge to Wolverine his way through an Italian fashion house, and honestly, the sight couldn’t have made me happier.

I took his hand in mine and caressed it soothingly. “Because I didn’t deserve the hit to my reputation.”

“You were arrested for public intoxication and assault, Landry!”

I sighed. “Yeah, well.”

“ Landry .”

I cut him off with a firm kiss before pulling back. “I love you. They couldn’t prove the intoxication, and the assault was pled down to disorderly conduct and probation. Remember?”

“Of course I remember! I thought you’d been in a fucking drunken fistfight with a colleague! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me the truth.”

I couldn’t keep my hands off him. With my fingers back in his hair, I murmured, “And what would you have done if you’d known? How would you have kept it quiet?”

This time, he was the one ticking things off with his fingers. “Homicide, for one. Kidnapping, for another. Bribery. And the most scathing and stealthy whisper campaign you can ever imagine. Which, by the way, has no statute of limitations, so I will be starting on my— mpfh !”

I tackled him onto the sheets and proceeded to distract him… thoroughly .

I sucked his cock until his threats turned to babbling nonsense, then flipped him over and ate his ass with my hand wrapped tight around his cock. As soon as his release hit, I moved behind him and jacked myself until hot spunk hit the crease of his ass and lower back.

We fell asleep empty and spent, and I woke up a short time later with a raging hangover—too much alcohol, not nearly enough water. I rolled out of bed in search of Kenji’s fancy water, only to find the bottle empty and Kenji gone.

I threw on a bathrobe and made my way downstairs. As I approached the kitchen, I heard Kenji’s voice.

“I heard she was a beautiful woman.”

“She was,” Dad said, “but so is my Nan, you know. Just don’t bring a lobster near the girl.”

Kenji sounded surprised. “Near Nan? I think you mean Landry. He’s the one who doesn’t like lobsters. Thinks they have nefarious intentions.”

I grinned and stepped closer without entering the room. Was eavesdropping rude as hell? Yep. Was I going to do it anyway? Hundred percent.

Dad chuckled. “How do you think he acquired the shellfish bigotry, son? When he was little, we were in Padstow for a meeting at Prideaux Place. The lobster hatchery’s nearby, so Nan took him over as a bit of a day jaunt while I was tied up in my meeting.”

He continued to tell the story with impressive clarity… until he got to the punchline. “And wouldn’t you know, Olivia ended up with several lobsters attached to her dress, all to keep the poor boy from going for a swim in the tanks!”

I saw the flicker of confusion on Kenji’s face, saw him wonder if my mother had actually been there that day—she hadn’t—or if my father had gotten confused, but he rolled with it.

“If she saved him, why did he end up with a lobster phobia?” he asked gently.

“Oh, Liv only kept him from a solid dunking. The boy still fell partway in and was covered neck to knees in baby lobsters. If only someone had captured it with a cell phone camera. But this was before everyone had one of those things, you know.”

I decided to rescue them both. “And thank goodness for that,” I said, strolling into the kitchen as if I’d just walked up. I caught Kenji’s eye and winked. “Nan never wore that dress again, and she definitely didn’t appreciate the donation we made to the hatchery in her honor that Christmas.”

Dad laughed. “Too right, son. Speaking of lobsters, you should tell Kenji about your phobia.” He turned back to Kenji. “We were in Padstow once. That’s in Cornwall. Lovely area. I believe I had a meeting at Prideaux Place. Can’t remember what it was about, but it wasn’t something a boy of ten would have much interest in. So Nan decided to take Landry…”

Dad launched into the story again. I moved over to the refrigerator to find something cold to drink while Kenji listened, patient as ever.

“ Baby lobsters?” Kenji laughed as if hearing it for the first time. “How did they end up traumatized if the lobsters were just babies?”

Dad chuckled, and for a moment, they shared a genuine laugh. I considered changing the subject to break him out of this memory loop but didn’t have the heart. There was no harm in leaving it be if he was happy.

Movement in the hallway caught my eye, and I saw Nan rushing toward us in her bathrobe, a worried look on her face. She stopped short when she saw them laughing, pressing her hand on her chest and closing her eyes in relief.

When the puzzle pieces finally snapped together, I felt like the most oblivious human on the planet.

Nan only knew my father wasn’t safe in his bed because she’d woken up to find him missing. She’d been sleeping in his bed. In their bed.

Maybe part of me hadn’t wanted to see it before, but suddenly, I not only knew, but I also realized it had been going on for a long time.

I hurried to intercept her, gently gripping her upper arms. “He’s okay. Just getting a glass of water and a sweet treat,” I said in a low voice.

She shifted from foot to foot, glancing toward the kitchen. “I happened to pass by his room and…”

I didn’t let her finish the lie. Instead, I threw my arms around her and hugged her tighter than I had in twenty years.

Emotion clogged my throat. “I love you,” I croaked. “I love you so much, and I didn’t know. I’m so fucking sorry.”

Her arms tightened around me. She even smelled familiar, and I realized she’d been a part of my life as long as I could remember. She was as steady, if not steadier, than my own parents.

She was the rock of my family. And she’d loved me just as much as they had.

Nan pulled back, her eyelashes wet and her eyes bright. “I love you more than you can know, Everett Landry. And I know you love me. Still have a drawer full of your little treasures to prove it. Handprint cards, horrendous jokes written in your little-boy handwriting, salt-dough ornaments, and even the four-leaf clover charm that used to hang on my keyring.”

After leading her to the kitchen and throwing back a large glass of water, the four of us returned upstairs. Kenji continued to laugh and swap stories with Dad until we stopped at the doorway to my father’s suite. My father turned and smiled at Kenji. “You make a good viscount consort, Kenji. I’m proud to call you a Davencourt.”

Kenji looked taken aback. “Thank you, sir, but we’re not actually…” His voice trailed off as if unsure whether correcting him would only add to the confusion.

But my father reached up and softly tapped the center of Kenji’s chest.

“You are where it counts, son. Good night.”

Nan passed me, dropping a quick kiss on my cheek, then doing the same to Kenji before disappearing into my father’s suite.

I stared at the closed door. “What the fuck.”

Kenji reached for my hand and pulled me back to our room. Once we were settled in bed, with Kenji exactly where he belonged in my arms and Turkey shoving up between us, Kenji asked if I wanted to talk about it.

I told him what had happened in the hallway with Nan.

He didn’t seem surprised.

“She’s already running everything, Kenji!” I said. “The house, the staff, Dad’s office staff, his social calendar. She makes sure I stay on top of the estate business and that Cora has everything she needs for the Foundation. She arranges the accountants, the solicitors, and…”

I stopped and took in a shaky breath. “And now she has to manage this, too? And the man she loves—who she didn’t get to have for years , by the way—is…” My throat tightened. “It’s not fair, Kenj. How can we ask this of her? It’s too much.”

For a long time, Kenji’s fingers brushed through my hair, his nails dragging lightly over my scalp, causing me to fall into the in-between space of wakefulness and sleep. His voice was laced with warm, quiet amusement. “When it’s someone you love, taking on their troubles isn’t a burden. It’s a blessing. You want to make their life easier. Fix their problems. Shoulder their worries. Lighten their load so they can live happy and free.”

His voice soothed me. The rhythm and cadence lulled me further into sleep as his reassurance helped me let go of my stress about Nan.

It wasn’t until the next morning, when I was on my way to an early breakfast meeting with Teddy Baines, that I fully processed the words Kenji had said.

And realized he hadn’t been talking about Nan at all.