Page 30 of Finding Her

poppy

The school liked to tell our parents that the camping unit was to help us connect with nature and learn fundamental survival skills, but every student knew it was really a joke of a unit.

It was especially that way for us since Mrs. Dixon’s wasn’t even on the trip to evaluate how we were doing or even if we were participating at all.

It was clear Mrs. Fisher had no interest in learning any of our names and she would be telling Mrs. Dixon that we all participated.

So, it was no surprise that all the freshmen girls took this as their chance to party and get drunk without consequences.

But Bear and I, being the oldies we were on this trip, were staying far away from that scene, which was how I ended up in the bathroom and getting ready for bed at the same time that Mia was putting on eyeliner and lipstick.

I’d smiled at her when she walked in, but didn’t say anything because of my mouth full of toothpaste. She didn’t say anything either, until I rinsed out my mouth and she suddenly went, “You’re Poppy, right?”

I froze, momentarily wondering why she wanted to know, as if this fourteen-year-old girl was secretly planning some plot about me.

In my defence, the way she’d glared at me the day I’d seen Bear out running gave me reason to think that she hated me.

But I shook those thoughts out of y head—all she’d asked was if she got my name right. Why was I freaking out over nothing?

“Yeah,” I said, way too late. “Uh, it’s nice to meet you.”

She nodded and turned back to the mirror in front of her, swiping eyeliner across her lids with ease. I was a little jealous, since I always ended up black smudged all over my face whenever I tried that.

“So, what’s going on between you and Levi?” Mia asked.

And just like that, the peaceful bubble we’d been standing burst. I wasn’t sure what it was about the question that made me tense, exactly.

It wasn’t any different than what everyone had been asking me ever since Claire and I had started this stupid bet.

But there was a strange undertone to her words, like they were slicing viciously in the air and aiming for my jugular.

That and the glare from both a couple weeks ago and this morning made me wary.

“What do you mean?” I asked, hoping I sounded innocent and not like my heart was pounding.

I probably should have just said nothing.

Because really, it would have been the truth, right?

Just because Bear had worn my scrunchie during his hockey game, hugged me this morning, and agreed to share a tent with me didn’t mean he was in love with me.

Every action he’d taken over the last couple of weeks that came close to that had a logical explanation behind it.

And even if there was anything going on between us, it would just be of the bet, which I was sure this girl knew nothing about.

Why would the freshmen care if Bear was dating me or Claire?

He was so far removed from most of their lives that it shouldn’t have mattered to them at all.

“I guess you two just seem really close,” she said. She put the cap back on her eyeliner and continued on with her makeup like this conversation was no big deal to her, and for some reason, it made me bristle.

“We’re friends,” I said. Trying to channel the same energy as her, I rinsed my toothbrush and grabbed my hair brush I didn’t want her to know she was getting under my skin, because by all rights, she shouldn’t have been.

There was no reason I should have given a crap about some random girl’s feelings on what Bear and I were up to.

“Seems like you’re more than that,” she said lightly. “If you’re sharing a tent and all.”

How did she know we were sharing a tent?

I’d been careful to heed Tracey’s warning about being subtle about it.

We hadn’t entered or exited the tent together at any point and even when we were inside, we’d been talking quietly so nobody heard us.

And since all the tents looked more or less the same and were all sitting in the same area, it wouldn’t have been obvious that we were both using the same one unless someone was watching us.

Had she been watching?

“Um…” I busied myself with brushing out my hair and tying it in a loose braid, acting like that took all of my concentration.

I really didn’t understand what she was getting at right now and I was nervous to find out.

Was she going to report us to the school for sharing a tent?

I wasn’t too concerned about the consequences of that since Tracey had told us to do it and it was their fault for giving us Mrs. Fisher as a chaperone—everyone knew she couldn’t care less about the job.

But how would it affect Bear if this came out?

Would they decide to pull him out of gym class and not give him the credit?

That wouldn’t be fair. But if Mia said she felt uncomfortable about the situation or tried to twist it to make it sound worse than it was…

I was getting ahead of myself. I didn’t know why she was doing this or if she was looking to hurt him. All I knew right now was that she wasn’t happy I was with him. But plenty of girls dealt with jealousy without trying to ruin other people’s lives.

“That’s just because of an administrative error,” I said finally, as I tied off the end of the braid. “They forgot to tell the camp that they’d need an extra tent for Bear and there was no room for me to stay with anyone else.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” Mia said, “I would stay in a tent with a boy I liked if I got the chance, too. But you should know…”

She trailed off, clearly waiting for me to become curious enough to ask her to finish.

But I kept my mouth clamped shut. I didn’t give in to mean girls and that was exactly what she felt like to me right now.

If she wanted to give me some information, she could go ahead and say it, but I wasn’t going to stoop to the level of asking her.

I was positive there was no information she could give me that would make me hate him or convince me to back away now.

“It’s just…” she continued, when I didn’t say anything. I bit back my smirk. I knew she would cave. She fluffed up her hair in the mirror as she said, “You know, he’s kind of in a serious relationship.”

I could feel her watching me so I was careful not to react at all.

I just grabbed my face wash and continued with my routine as my mind spun.

I remembered the first day I met Claire, when she’d sneered that she was Bear’s girlfriend.

Since then, I’d rarely seen them together and when they were, he didn’t look happy, so I really didn’t think they were dating.

Especially since Lilah was right about his reputation—every person who had talked to me about the bet in the last few weeks had dropped in the fact that he never dated anyone.

Ever. So she had to be mistaken. Or, more likely, she wanted me to assume she was right and back off because she wanted him for herself.

“He doesn’t date,” I said calmly.

She sighed and turned to face me completely, crossing her arms and leaning her hip against the yellowed sink. With her bright blue hair curled and her full face of makeup, she honestly looked older than I did right now.

“I’m going to be real with you because it seems like nobody was,” she said. Her tone was so high and mighty that if I hadn’t already decided I hated her, I would now. “He spread that rumour around school himself, because he and his girlfriend don’t want everyone knowing about them.”

“Clearly,” I said drily, as I patted a towel over my face. “Because if you’re telling me that his girlfriend is Claire Thompson, I’ve heard that she’s been with half the hockey team in the last six months alone.”

Sure, that was a rumour I heard through the grapevine and I normally didn’t like to give rumours any weight, but this one time, I was making an exception.

Both because I’d heard it from enough people that I thought it was likely true and because I needed to say whatever I could to get this girl to back off.

“They have an unusual relationship,” Mia said. “See, their parents won’t let them date in high school. But that doesn’t mean they’re not together, you know?”

“No, actually,” I said coldly. “I don’t.”

She huffed in annoyance. “Look, they’ve both agreed that they can do whatever they want right now. Date other people, hook up, whatever. But everyone knows that they’re going to get married one day—they’ve agreed on it, their parents want it, everyone. He even bought her a promise ring.

I still wasn’t following her logic at all. They knew they were going to get married, so they were hooking up with other people in the meantime? And why would you buy a girl a promise ring then let her kiss your teammates?

“You’re wrong,” I told her. “He doesn’t even like Claire. He told me so himself.”

I thought of this morning again, the way he’d needed me to help convince Claire he wasn’t in love with her. He wouldn’t have done that if he thought he was destined to marry her someday.

“It’s not about whether he wants her,” she said. “It’s about what his dad wants for him. He’s told you about his dad, hasn’t he? How he controls every part of Levi’s life? This is just another one of those things—Mr. Barrett wants Levi to be with Claire, so that’s what is going to happen.”

Unfortunately, that was the first thing she’d said that actually rang of truth.

And it was also the only thing she could have said that would make me believe that Levi and Claire did actually have a future.

I’d seen it in his eyes when he talked about his dad and how he was doing everything he could to keep him happy.

If his dad wanted him with Claire, there was no amount of feelings for other people that could break them apart.

“And besides,” Mia said lightly, “he does love Claire. He was lying to you if he said anything different.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, desperately wanting to tell her she was wrong—but wondering if she was actually right after all.

“How do you know all this?” I asked.

“Oh, didn’t I say?” she asked brightly. “Claire’s my older sister.”

And with those words, my heart plummeted.

Bear had told me himself that Claire was a friend of the family—meaning Mia was by extension as well.

She knew his dad better than I ever could.

And she would have been there if Levi and Claire had made some promises to each other.

And the more that I thought about it, the more it all came together.

No wonder Claire had been around so much.

No wonder he looked so annoyed every time he saw her.

It didn’t matter if he didn’t love her if he knew that ultimately she was the only one he could ever be with.

I was starting to feel a little sick. I rinsed my toothbrush and splashed some cold water on my face, hoping it would help, but it didn’t do anything for me at all.

What was I thinking? That I could possibly be with Bear, of all people?

It hadn’t even been about the bet for me over the last few days—when I’d given him the scrunchie and introduced him to Ivy and sat with him on the bus, all of that had just been for me.

Because I’d been stupid enough to lose track of what the goal I was after and let myself fall for him.

Had this been Claire’s plan the whole time?

To make me become interested in Bear and then crush me with the knowledge that he was always going to go back to her?

Maybe she hadn’t been outright lying when she called herself his girlfriend.

Sure, they weren’t together in the traditional sense, but if I was in a situation his complicated, I would probably just say I was his girlfriend too.

When was Bear going to tell me about all of this? I thought back to all the time we’d spent together recently. The way he’d been so close to me. I guess he hadn’t been outright romantic. It wasn’t like we had ever kissed or made promises to each other. But I just assumed…

I gripped the edge of the sink tightly. That was the problem—I assumed.

And now I was paying the price for it.