Page 34

Chapter 33

It’s my first life; I’m still figuring things out.

Mari stopped inside her parents’ kitchen to find her grandmother making tea. “Hey, I didn’t realize you were home today. I thought you had your art group.” It was Saturday and that meant “art club,” which meant going to various museums or to see private collections—and her group also offered scholarships to high school students. Her grandmother had more of a social life than Mari, something she chose not to dwell on.

She was also part of some sort of “sneaker club” that Mari didn’t totally understand, as well as a book club and of course she was part of an Asian krewe for Mardi Gras which kept her busy year-round. Seriously, the woman was incredible. But she always found time to go flying with Mari and had been her biggest supporter all those years ago when she’d decided to go for her dreams.

“That’s not until this afternoon. Tea?”

Mari nodded and pulled out the teacups her halmeoni preferred. “I like your outfit. It’s going to slay at your meeting.”

Her grandmother sniffed as if to say of course . In wide-legged vintage floral pants and a chic button-down blouse, she could blend in anywhere. But add in the metallic purple sneakers and matching metallic belt bag, she stood out in all the best ways. She’d pulled her dark hair back into a twist, and even though she complained about the length, always threatening to cut it, Mari knew she never would. Her grandfather had liked it too much so she kept it long.

“Other than Magnolia, who are your friends outside?” she asked softly.

Mari glanced over her shoulder through the glass doors to the pool beyond. After being officially freed yesterday from the safe house, she’d come to her parents’ house, mostly because she’d known they’d gone on a last-minute out of town trip.

Despite her issues with her mother, she still felt safe here. This place was basically a fortress and she’d wanted the familiarity of her childhood home. “Ah, just some work friends.” Which wasn’t exactly right, but it was easier to say that than explain how she knew everyone.

Her friends, knowing how much she’d needed them, had come over this morning for a “pool party” which made her feel like she was in high school again. But she loved that they were all getting to relax together. It made her feel normal after the insanity of the last few days. So Magnolia, Berlin, Adalyn, Fleur, and even Camila were here for mimosas and sun. Two of her pilot friends were supposed to come by in an hour as well. She could have taken over one of the jobs she’d handed off but had decided to give herself one more day.

Maybe two if she took off tomorrow as well. She needed to get her head on straight anyway.

“So what is going on, my sweet girl?”

“Nothing much.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

Mari cleared her throat, wondering how her halmeoni always saw through her. “Just…dealing with some stuff. How did you know Harabeoji wa s the one for you?”

If she was surprised by the question, her grandmother didn’t show it. Instead she sat at the table that looked out onto the backyard and patio beyond where Mari’s friends were all relaxing and enjoying the sunny day. Even Berlin, who had been cannonballing earlier, was now lying out with everyone. They all looked so peaceful. Mari sat next to her grandmother and took a sip of the lemon green tea.

“He listened and he made me laugh…and he was the bravest person I ever knew.”

Mari knew the story of how her grandfather had made the decision to come to America, how he’d been brave enough to ask her grandmother to go with him even though her parents disapproved. How they’d still sent money back for years, how they’d struggled so their daughter could have a better education than they’d had. Sometimes if she really thought about all the things her halmeoni had done in her lifetime it was staggering.

“But the way he truly listened is why I fell for him. You remind me a lot of him.”

She blinked. “I do?”

Her grandmother nodded. “You were always the outlaw in this family and so was he.”

“Outlaw?”

“I’m certain it is the right word.”

Mari grinned. “I think I’ll get that on a T-shirt.” Outlaw, hell yeah.

“You’ve never lived your life for anyone else’s approval. Even when you were small. It frustrates your mother, but she respects you for it.”

“Yeah, I don’t know about that.”

Her grandmother simply sighed. “Who is this man making you ask questions about my past?”

“No one, just sort of abstract questioning. ”

Her halmeoni just gave her a look that said she knew she was lying. Then she patted Mari’s hand gently as she stood. “Well, I’m sure you’ll figure things out. And hopefully that nice Lockhart boy figures out how to win your heart.”

She blinked as her grandmother left the room, but knew she shouldn’t be surprised. Sometimes Mari swore she was psychic.

“Hey, what’s taking so long?” Magnolia stepped into the kitchen, her baby bump more pronounced now than it had been just days ago. Especially since she was wearing a two-piece bathing suit and wrap.

“Nothing.”

“Oh, I want some tea. Did your grandma leave?”

“She’s got one of her clubs soon.”

“I’m jealous of her energy,” Magnolia said as she poured a cup for herself.

“Same.”

“Please, you have just as much. And I’m so impressed that you’re so chill after the last few days. I’d be freaking out.”

“Uh, no, you wouldn’t.” And her best friend had handled her own bullshit after the insanity of earlier this year.

“Fine, you’re right, but you’ve dealt with a lot for anyone. So what’s going on with you and Colin? I’ve given you enough time to tell me and now I’m pulling the pregnancy card and best friend card at the same time. I’m hormonal and your bestie and I want to know. Right now.”

Laughing, she resumed her seat at the table with Magnolia, who’d laid her hand on her stomach and was cupping it protectively. “I can’t ignore those cards. And I don’t know what’s going on. I screwed up. That much I know. I keep trying to get a handle on my feelings for him, to keep a level head and—”

“Oh my god, Mari!”

“What?”

“When you’re in love with someone you can’t always get a handle on your feelings. Emotions like love can’t be boxed up or controlled. And I know and appreciate how much you like to control situations but you can’t do that with love.”

Mari sputtered. “I don’t love…” Oh. Oh god. Oh. My. God. She did love him. “I love him?”

“Uh yeah. I thought you already knew that.”

“What the hell is wrong with me! I can’t be in love with my brother’s best friend.”

“Why not? He’s great.”

“He’s kinda bossy. And fine, gorgeous. And oh no. Nooooo.” Mari covered her face with her hands. “This makes things so much worse. I can’t see him right now. I need to keep some distance while I get a handle… Oh, I hear myself now. I’m insane.”

Magnolia simply nodded and lifted her teacup to her mouth. “Your words, not mine.”

Mari looked down into her tea as she realized that yep, she was in love with Colin. Which really did make things worse. So. Much. Worse. Because he’d been talking about going on a date.

Not anything else more serious. Oh, she did not like this feeling at all. No wonder she’d stuck to loving her planes all her adult life. Planes were better than anything else.

Now she had to deal with all these dumbass emotions that wanted to take over everything. Well, not today. She set her tea down and headed for the fridge and grabbed the already open bottle of champagne. Tea wasn’t going to cut it.

So she was going to do what any rational adult did when faced with a problem. Drink alcohol.