Page 8 of Fever: Love In Scrubs

I sighed. “That’s easier said than done. I feel so sheltered and it’s crazy because I didn’t grow up like that.”

“No, you grew up isolated, then when you had freedom, you mostly isolated yourself by choice.

You have no idea how happy I am when I get you to agree to come out with me, Wynter.

And I know it makes you feel good too. Life is beautiful, cousin.

You deserve a beautiful life and beautiful things.

Most of all, you deserve a beautiful love story with some good ass dick from a fine ass man.

I rolled my eyes.

It had been a while since I let a man inside me. It wasn’t that I was afraid of men… well I kinda was. I wasn’t afraid they would hurt me or break my heart. I just had a hard time trusting people. In life, I learned to keep my head down, do what I had to do, and keep to myself.

I was conditioned to being a loner because of my circumstances. It was a habit I hadn’t grown out of that further secluded me. Rather than have someone gaslight me for liking my space, I just kept to myself.

“I don’t need your help with that, Tinka,” I finally said.

“You sure? ‘Cause I have a few guy friends that think you’re beautiful. They’ve asked me several times to put them on with you.”

“Tink, why would I entertain any of your friends?”

She scoffed. “They are not that bad!”

“You’re a social butterfly. You’re friends with any and everybody.”

“I’m very selective of who I share my time with, thank you. Any of my guy friends would be good for you. Just say you’re interested in this doctor boo,” she sang.

I rolled my eyes just as Jaxson pulled into a parking lot. I swung in behind him and found a space.

“We’re here. I gotta go, Tink.”

“Make sure you tell me how this goes later.”

“There’s not gonna be anything to tell. Love you, cousin.”

“I love you too, girl. Oh, and I will be telling Mama how you broke your ass and didn’t call either of us. I’m sure we’ll see you in the morning.”

I rolled my eyes. “Y’all don’t have to come, Tinka. I’m okay.”

“She’s gonna want to lay eyes on you, so prepare to see her. Bye, boo!”

We disconnected the call as Jaxson climbed out of his car and came over to open my door. He reached for my hand to help me out, then offered his arm for stability. I accepted and we headed into the chicken spot.

“I know it’s a bit stereotypical, but I figured you couldn’t go wrong with chicken,” he said, once we placed our drink orders.

I chuckled. “It’s fine. I love wings and honey hot is my favorite flavor.”

“Well, that’s a win for me.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes as we looked over the full menu. I was starving, and this food was going to hit the spot.

“So tell me a little about you, Ms. Driscoll,” Jaxson said, peering over at me.

“Well, I’m really not that interesting. I’m thirty, as you know.

Only child. My mom died in childbirth. I lived here with my dad until I was fifteen before moving in with my aunt, my mother’s sister, in Colorado Springs.

There I work as an Independent Living Coordinator at The Connection Compass, a youth center where I basically teach life skills to kids. ”

“Is that something you’ve always wanted to do?”

“I think I decided on it a year after moving in with my aunt. She taught me so much about taking care of myself the right way. Most of what I learned about being a woman up until that point were things I read in books or magazines.”

“Can I ask you something?”

I bit my lip, not sure of what he was fishing for, but nodded my head. “Sure.”

“Did any of your other family know how you were living?”

I shrugged. “If they did, they didn’t do anything about it.

For the first part of my life, it was really just the two of us.

I mean, I spent summers with my aunt. Dad would usually put me on a bus, and she’d pick me up from the bus station.

The only time we really traveled together to see her was Thanksgiving or Christmas.

I remembered always hating to come back home after being at her house because it was so clean, and I felt the most normal.

It was like my little slice of paradise. ”

I briefly recalled the time I spent at my aunt’s during those earlier years.

Summers were the one time I got to just be a kid.

I’d run around with Tinka or the neighborhood kids.

They didn’t know me, where I came from, how I lived, or who I was so there was no judgement.

I was free until it was time to come home again.

“What about you?” I asked, trying to change the subject. “Tell me something about you.”

“Well, I’m thirty-five. Divorced. My twelve-year-old is my broke best friend on a good day,” he added with a chuckle.

“My parents have been married for forty years, and I’m their oldest child.

My sister is five years younger than me and she has a six-year-old little girl named Kacie who loves to run my pockets and I let her. ”

I smiled. “So you love kids?”

“I do. If I wasn’t in pathology, I would have gone into pediatrics.”

“You see yourself having more kids?”

“I’d like at least one more, even if it means starting over. What about you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe one. I love working with them, even though they think I’m old and call me auntie.”

Jaxson chuckled. “Take it as a compliment and that they trust you. I’m sure you’ve added value to their lives in some way.”

“I try. I mostly work with kids in foster care. You know, to help them prepare for life after they age out. If it wasn’t for my aunt, that would have been my fate.”

“Well, thank God for your aunt. So, tell me. What do you do for fun?”

“I’m kind of a homebody. I love to cook and bake.

The cleaners actually found my mother’s old recipe cards.

I plan to go through and cook some of her favorite meals.

Anyway, I’ll go out with my cousin from time to time, but I have the most peace in my house.

She’s always telling me I have to get out more. ”

“See, we have to get you out of that now that you’re settling in. I can’t have you cooped up in a that house. I get you haven’t been here in a while, but Silver Run has a lot to offer. You should let me show you around. Reintroduce you to the city you once knew.”

I fiddled with my hair as I contemplated his offer. “I’ll think about it.”

He gave me a playful smirk. “I’ll wear you down, Ms. Driscoll. If I got nothing else from my dad, I got his persistence.”

“So he doesn’t take no for an answer either, huh?”

“Never. All within respect, of course. It’s no pressure. I just think you could use a friend here.”

“And you think that friend is you?”

“It could be.”

“So there’s no crazy girlfriend or a woman that thinks she’s attached to you that would come at me about you?”

He waved me off. “Absolutely not.”

“What about your ex-wife? Any chance of reconciliation there?”

“Hell no! I’d rather cut off my right arm.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Bad break up?”

“If you call cheating on me in our home and stealing from me bad, then yes. That’s a part of my life I don’t want to relive. I don’t wish any harm on her, but we’d never get back together. Ever.”

“You think you’d ever get married again?”

“If the right woman comes along and God says that’s my rib, I would. You?”

“I guess I’d have to be actively dating to think about marriage. It would be nice to have someone to come home to, though.”

“When’s the last time you went on a date?”

I bit my lip, scared to confess the real answer. “Its… been a while. Like a year.”

“You’re joking, right? As beautiful as you are?”

I gave a nervous laugh. “No prospects. I don’t really date. That might be my own doing, however. My cousin just offered to set me up with one of her friends and that would just be weird for me.”

“Why? What do you look for in a partner?”

I was in the middle of eating a flat, so I took the time to ponder the question.

“Well… someone who’s kind. Loyal. Understanding of my quirks, because I have a lot of them.

Someone who’s patient, caring, and loving.

I’m not big on looks. I just want someone that feels good to my soul.

I need him to understand when I need my space, but still check on me.

I want him to be funny because, contrary to belief, laughter is food for the soul.

“I need him to be a good listener, you know? Not listening to respond, but to understand. Like when I’m having my moments, just hear me out. Don’t try to fix me, or distract me, just work through it with me.”

Jaxson smiled. “You don’t want much.”

“You say that until you get here and realize it’s a job.”

“Relationships are a job, love. You can’t just get the position and slack off. You have to put in time and work. They’ll be good days and bad days, but if it’s worth it, you do what you must to keep it.”

“You’re right.” I looked down at my food.

“You know, sometimes, I wish I’d gotten to see my father love my mother.

The cleaners found this old photo album of his.

He barely ever let me touch it, but I finally got to see what he was keeping all those years.

I knew he loved her just from the way he wanted to keep everything that reminded him of her.

But seeing them in pictures and reading the love letters and cards he wrote her…

she was the love of his life. I want someone to love me like that, but I’d never want them to let my death consume them. ”

Jaxson hung his head. “I know what you mean. My parents are the blueprint for me. I’d never seen anybody love a woman the way my father loves my mother.

I dread the day that they don’t have each other.

I don’t think they would last long. The thought of that kinda scares me, you know?

Them living without each other and me having to live without them.

I know everybody has a day and time, but you wanna keep your loved ones as long as possible. ”

I sniffled a little as I nodded my head. “Yeah. I hadn’t spoken to my dad in a few weeks. We had a fight the last time I called him and he never answered the phone again. I just… he died with animosity between us. I never got a chance to fix things.”

Tears pooled in my eyes as I spoke. That had been eating me alive since I learned of his passing. Sure, I tried to call him, but he didn’t answer. I should have been the bigger person and finally come to see him. Now he was gone and there was no other opportunity to make things right.

That hurt almost as badly as losing him.

Overcome with tears, I buried my face in my hands.

Jaxson slid next to me and pulled me into a hug while I cried on his shoulder. I’d had many crying spells over the last couple of months, but talking about this to him…talking about it out loud… it made me feel like shit.

“You can’t feel guilty,” he said softly as he rubbed my back.

“Sometimes, you have to love people from a distance to protect your peace. I don’t know what it was like for you in that house, but for you not to go back, I can imagine it was painful.

Nobody can fault you for how you chose to heal from what you went through. ”

He pulled back and swiped at my tears with the pads of his thumb.

“I’m sorry I’m crying all over you,” I said.

“Cry all you want. All beautiful things need water to grow.”

I leaned back into his embrace and closed my eyes.

I wasn’t sure how long we stayed like that.

I wasn’t a hugger and I really didn’t care for too many people touching me, but somehow, touching him was soothing.

He had a kind of spirit that just seemed to pull you in. I could tell he was a good person.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad getting to know him.