Page 5
T homas
I lie in bed thinking of my mate. I know where she is, I can sense her even on the other side of the compound, but I force myself to stay in bed, alone and lonely even as my wolf revolts inside my mind.
There is still the fear in the back of my mind that no female will ever want a mate as defective as myself. Science and experimentation have changed me so vastly that beside a regular wolf shifter I am almost twice the size. Godrick likes to joke that Joy rides my beast like a horse, but I know that’s not so much an exaggeration as it is the truth.
My thoughts drift from my fears to the need I feel to be near her. I can’t imagine wanting to be far from her even if she does decide to refuse me. Her straight blonde hair and grey eyes have mesmerized me. The curve of her spine and slope of her neck have been burned into my memory. A smile spreads across my face as I recall her animal, also much larger than any wolf I have ever seen.
I pull forth the memory of her fierce defense of Iris, a woman she had never met before that moment, and feel my chest swell with pride. Soon enough, I drift off to sleep with thoughts of my beautiful mate swirling in my mind.
****
I don’t know how I got here but I do know I am not in control. A howl rips from deep in my chest and I know my animal is currently running the show. Before I can try to force him to shift back or understand even an ounce of reason, he runs at the front door of Caine and Peyton’s home. His shoulder connects and the door is ripped from its hinges, all but exploding from where it was a moment before.
Before us, our mate stands with a brilliant smile. She is dressed in a t-shirt and jeans now instead of the fluffy white material from earlier, but I can smell the clothes belong to someone else.
“Well, hello there,” she says, her voice lower than it was before. There is not an ounce of her earlier anger remaining in her tone.
“Fuck me,” Caine curses, trying to shield her from my beast. From me. “Thomas, I need you to calm down.”
I can feel him trying to use his Alpha inflection on me, but it isn’t working. Not. One. Bit. A low growl builds in the depths of my chest before rumbling out of me. He shouldn’t touch her.
“Caine, you may want to back away,” my mate says. “Dire wolf males are extremely volatile on a good day. Worse when they are separated from the things they want.”
“Dire wolf?” Peyton asks loudly.
“Mmm,” my mate purrs as she steps up to my muzzle. Her hand slips beneath my maw, long fingernails scratching at the fur. My eyes fall closed at the pleasure that rockets through my beast at having her hands on us. “There is something else, perhaps a Yukon wolf?”
She continues to touch me as she speaks. Behind my ear, across my back, over my flank. Every little touch placating my wolf more and more until he recedes, leaving me naked and aroused in my Alpha’s house. For a moment, no one speaks or moves and then Peyton throws a robe at me.
“I assume female dire wolves can be difficult as well. Especially when their unclaimed mate is naked around other females,” Peyton says dryly.
It’s only then I realize my mate has withdrawn from us, standing in the doorway breathing hard as she glares at Peyton. With a nod she glares at me, and I quickly don the robe, blushing furiously. Peyton has seen me naked before, as has most of the pack, but this is different. Lola is different.
It takes her a moment once I am covered to breathe out and finally relax. “I’m sorry about that,” she says to Caine and Peyton. “We have a much harder time controlling our animals.”
“It’s okay,” Peyton says with a wink. “I remember what it’s like to find your mate. And how hard it can be to control your animal.”
She gives Caine the side eye and for the first time ever, I see the big Alpha blush. I can only imagine what thoughts are running through his mind right now.
“What happens now?” The words fall from my lips before I can think them through.
“That depends on you, Thomas.”
Caine’s reply leaves me with more questions than answers. When I don’t say anything, my mate smiles sadly. She shakes her head before moving deeper into the house once more.
“We stick to the original plan,” she says. “I will stay here until he knows if he wants to accept me as his mate. If not, I will leave the pack. It’s not like this is my home.”
My heart breaks with every word that falls from her lips to caress my ears. Has she already decided she doesn’t want me as her mate? She doesn’t even know me. My wolf howls in pain at the mere thought of losing her.
“Lola...”
“No,” she says cutting me off. “I’ve already been hurt before, and I won’t let your hormones or mine dictate whether we should be a mated couple. Jumping into this in a rush will only hurt both of us. Go home. We can talk in the morning.”
“But...”
“Please, Thomas,” she begs, and I know I will never be able to deny her a single damn thing.
With a heavy heart and a tattered soul, I turn away from her and head home.
****
L ola
He doesn’t stay away even though I know he tried. His beast has other plans. All night, he paces outside Caine’s house. I watch from the window above him as he prowls the area, making sure I am safe. His animal knows he wants to honor my request, but his nature will not allow him to be far from me. Not now that he has found me, and not once we are mated. If we are ever mated.
I wanted to give myself over to him the moment he broke down the door but what I said remains true. I don’t want to simply be his mate because it’s what fate deemed correct or necessary. I want a mate who wants me, not just any mate. Not that I’ll know how to tell the difference, but I believe I will.
So instead of giving myself over to my baser instincts I remain inside, away from my mate. I lie in bed for hours, staring at the ceiling, wishing he would go away and leave me in peace while simultaneously praying to the Goddess that he never gives up on me. An hour before sunrise, I slip from beneath the covers and make my way downstairs.
In the past twenty-four hours I have requested to join this pack, attacked a stranger, found my mate, and invaded the home of the pack Alpha. The least I can do is make breakfast.
I spend the next hour acquainting myself with Peyton’s kitchen and cooking up a storm. It has always been one of my coping mechanisms. Whenever I get stressed, I cook and bake. The Thorn Pack always said I was wasteful, not that anyone ever told me they didn’t want my food, so I started to supress the urge. But this is just too stressful for me to keep the urge at bay.
“Fuck, woman. What did you do?” Peyton says, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
Shame washes over me. How do I explain this fucking compulsion? “I’m sorry...”
“No, no, no,” she says with a wave of her hand, grabbing a banana-nut muffin and taking a big bite. She moans softly before swallowing. “I don’t care that you cooked, it gives me the morning off, but you are definitely going to spoil everyone and then I’ll have to up my game.”
“What smells so good?” The voice comes from behind and a shriek escapes me before I can stop it.
Everything happens in a blur. One minute I am looking at a younger version of Caine and the next, Thomas has him pinned to the ground, teeth bared. I grab his ear and yank him back with all my strength, trying my best to dislodge him from the other man.
“Thomas, stop!” I demand. “He didn’t do anything. It was just a jump scare.”
Thomas looks at me, never moving his weight. He assesses me, making sure I am not injured before he steps back. His beast sniffs me before rubbing his big head on my thigh.
“Go home,” I say scratching between his eyes. “Shift back, get dressed, and join us for breakfast.” The giant onyx wolf huffs, sitting down beside my feet. “I’m serious. Besides, you know these people, they’ll never hurt me.”
With a grunt of disapproval, he glares at everyone before walking away.
“Seems we may have missed something while we were out hunting last night,” a pixie-like woman says while she helps the other man up from the floor.
“Talon.” Peyton addresses the woman with a chuckle. “That is the understatement of the fucking year.”