Page 2
T homas
I sit staring out the darkened forest, listening for any sounds that don’t belong. My heightened hearing and sight make me the perfect scout for the perimeter wall. Don’t get me wrong, everyone living in the Katu compound is a shifter and has heightened senses, but mine are even more so.
My entire life, I was held in captivity and experimented on. As a result of their gene manipulation or whatever else those sick monsters did to me, I am more than the average wolf shifter. My body is bigger, my senses are even more heightened than anyone I have ever met, and my wolf is more temperamental.
I watch Peyton and Caine enter the compound after they went for their nightly swim down at the waterfall. I rub the center of my chest to alleviate the pain that blooms there. I will never have what they have, what any of the other fated couples in our pack has. I would be a danger to any female, let alone my fated mate. My size, the volatility of my wolf, all of those things, would be too much for any woman to handle.
“What are you thinking about?” Godrick asks from his spot beside me.
“Nothing,” I mumble.
“I can hear the wheels in your brain turning,” he counters. “Talk to me.”
I’m not sure how to explain what I am feeling but I do know I want to open up to Godrick. Of all the men in the pack I have become closest to him. In the year I have lived here, I haven’t really forged a bond with anyone else the way I have with Godrick. Men have always scared me after the way I grew up, but I enjoy his companionship and want to be friends with him in every sense of the word.
“I was thinking about fated mates,” I say after a long silence.
“I’m sure the Goddess has a mate picked out just for you,” he says with a smile.
“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.”
“Meaning?” A frown mars his features making him look more intimidating than he actually is.
“How can I ever have a fated mate?” I ask, genuinely wanting to know his thoughts on the matter. “When a shifter finds his fated mate, he is even more volatile than usual. How the hell will that work with my wolf? You know my beast is unpredictable.”
“I know what you mean, Thomas,” he says, nodding his head. “And I am sure that whoever the Goddess chooses for you will be able to navigate all those issues with you. To be honest, I don’t know a fated couple that didn’t have to conquer some or other problem, real or of their own making, before they could claim their happily ever after. However corny that may sound.”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Peyton had to go through a rejection to find Caine, Calum’s mate was forced to mate with someone else before we found each other, and Keela’s first mate died. The list goes on and on.”
Shock courses through me at what he has just revealed. “I had no idea.”
He nods with a small smile. “It seems people tend to only talk about the good times. It’s easier than having to relive the tough times.”
“Makes sense.”
“Does that help you?”
“Not really,” I say honestly. “I’m not sure there is a way to overcome my issues. What if my wolf hurt my mate? That would kill me.”
For long moments both of us remain silent, thinking through everything that has been said between us.
“I’ll tell you what Peyton told me,” he says, cutting through the silence. “The goddess will not choose a fated mate for you if there is no feasible way for you to be together. Remember that when you meet her.”
I don’t say anything else. Unless you live with the constant fear I do, have been through what I have lived my entire life, I don’t think anyone will ever understand.
****
L ola
“You need to accept the decree of your Alpha. Silas knows what is best,” my mother says, a frown marring her features, the same one I see when I look in the mirror.
“I don’t want to be mated to someone who isn’t my fated mate. Not to mention I don’t even know him,” I retort. “You’re my mother, you’re supposed to support me.”
“This isn’t about you and me, Lola,” she says with a sigh. “This is about our pack, the Thorn Pack. The Alpha has decided we need to join with another pack and for that to work, you need to mate with the beta from the Crescent Pack.”
“That isn’t his choice to make.”
“But it is. As long as you remain part of the Thorn Pack, you will obey your Alpha.”
“Then I’ll leave,” I say angrily.
I turn on my heel and walk through the house we have shared my entire life. In my room, I grab a duffle from my cupboard and start stuffing my belongings into it.
“Lola,” my mother says from the doorway. “If you do this, if you cost the Thorn Pack the opportunity to merge with the Crescent Pack, you will be excommunicated for life. You will be a lone wolf. No home, no pack.” She huffs. “You know we are a dying breed, dire wolves. We need to grow our numbers, and this is how we will do it.”
“At my expense,” I retort. “If Silas was so concerned with the dwindling number of dire wolves, he wouldn’t have rejected his fated mate. He wouldn’t have rejected and damn near killed me. And if you loved me at all, you would leave with me instead of trying to force me into this.”
I sling my duffle over my shoulder, my decision already made. I will not remain here only to be used as a pawn in pack politics. I stayed after Silas rejected me even though it hurt just to breathe, but I’m done now. The Thorn Pack has no regard for my feelings or my well-being beyond what I can offer them.
I have no idea where I am headed but I would rather be a stray, a nomad, and an outcast than live another day among my own kind to be used. Silas damn near killed me with his rejection two years ago, and everyone simply chooses to act like it never happened. It happened. I felt it. It broke me in a way I am not quite sure can ever be repaired and I won’t stand to be hurt anymore.
I jump in my old white Volkswagen and drive away from the only home I’ve ever known, leaving behind my only living family member. I don’t look back, choosing not to let my mother see the tears streaming down my face. She wouldn’t care even if she did see. She has always been “pack first.”
It hurts that she has chosen the pack above me, her own daughter, her only child, even if I knew she would do it. I drive five miles away from the pack compound before pulling over and allowing my emotions to fully escape. Wracking sobs shake my entire body as I sit beside a stretch of road in the dark. My wolf whimpers deep in the recesses of my mind.
But we both know I have made the right decision for us even if it hurts like a bitch.
After fifteen minutes, I finally have my emotions back under control to the point where I can continue my journey. This is the start of my new life, and I fully intend on embracing it.
****
O n my first day away from the Thron Pack, I heard the same rumor I have been hearing for years. Deep in the mountains, on the outskirts of the forest is a small town called Katu Falls. It’s not the town that has grabbed my interest but the pack said to be residing in the heart of the forest. People say the Katu Pack take in wolves that have no pack, the outcasts, those deemed not good enough to be part of a pack. Wolves like me.
I don’t even consider that it may be a tall tale, I simply take off in that direction. For all my professions of being fine on my own, I already miss the camaraderie of pack life. I feel lonely and if the Katu Pack can offer me that, I know I need to take the chance.
It takes four days for me to reach my destination. I stop in town for dinner at a quaint little diner before booking a room at the local bed-and-breakfast that overlooks the town square. It’s like something from a TV show. Everyone knows each other and waves and smiles as they cross paths. My heart warms and I know I could easily build a life here where the sense of community is so thick it wraps around me like a warm, fluffy blanket, even though I am an outsider.
I leave my car in town and make the trek through the forest to where the pack compound is rumored to be located. The air is cool against my heated skin, helping to calm my frayed nerves. I know the Katu Pack is well known for taking in wolves who no longer have anywhere to go, but what if they don’t want me? I have very few talents to offer a growing pack. The thing that worries me the most is knowing that not all shifters take kindly to those outside their species. It’s why I booked the room and left my car in town. I may need somewhere to return to when—if—this pack sends me away.
Taking a deep breath, I step out of the relative comfort the treeline offers me and walk toward the perimeter wall with my head held high.
A large man with long, dark hair appears out of nowhere and I almost turn and run away.
“Hello,” he says, his voice deep. “How can I help you today?”
His calm demeanor throws me for a loop. If a stranger had approached the Thorn Pack on foot, there would be absolute anarchy as everyone lost their minds.
“Is this the Katu Pack?” I ask, trying to keep my voice even and my nerves from showing.
“Yes, it is,” he replies with a smile.
“Then I would like to speak to your Alpha.”
“Regarding?” he asks with a raised brow, keeping his smile in place.
“I would like to join his pack.”
For a long moment he remains silent, and I think he is going to tell me to leave. Fear courses through me at the thought of having to roam the world alone. The thought of never belonging to a pack scares me senseless no matter what lies I try to force-feed myself late at night when I’m alone.
“You’re in luck. I’m headed over there.”
He walks away and for a moment I am frozen to the spot. He turns to look at me with a frown.
“Are you coming?”
And I scamper after him little a lost, little puppy.