Page 30 of Father Knows Best (A Family Affair #1)

“I just… I love you, Sutton. And I always want more of you. The other day, when you turned me down in the house–” she shakes her head, and I see for the first time behind the veil. It’s not perfect between them, yet I’d never have guessed otherwise.

“I told you, not in public. You are mine, for me, and I would never want some stranger walking in and having access to things that are private.”

She shakes her head. “Let me finish–please, Sutton. This is hard enough.”

I keep my hand on her knee and give her a gentle pat.

“I truly thought that once we married, slowly, you’d be open to giving me more of yourself. Exploring. Trying new things.”

Sutton smooths his palms down his thighs.

“One of the things I love about you is that you...” his eyes cut to mine, and I simply blink, hopeful that he realizes now is not the time to be shy.

That his whole life is on the line. He nods his head, understanding the nonverbal cue I’ve given.

“I love that you want to make love to me, with me, and that we’ve been very compatible in that sense. ”

“I like that, too, Sutton, I do, I adore you, you melt me, you absolutely do,” she stammers, voice shaky.

“But that,” he says, nodding to the box, “that tells me you don’t like what… the way we’ve been. That you're unhappy.”

She gets to her feet and I get to mine, and suddenly we’re standing and I’m between them. “I love what you love, I do, I promise you, every moment we’ve shared has been everything to me,” she says, tears leaking from her eyes. “I just want more. I want so much more, Sutton.”

He shakes his head. “I love you, Avery, but… I know myself. And I’m not sure that exploring things like that are… for me.”

I’m surprised when she stands taller, with conviction in her blue eyes. “Are you saying that you’ll never regularly come in my mouth and let me swallow?”

Shock stings my senses, and I can’t help but stare at Avery as she stares at my son, eyes wide.

I’ve never heard her curse, I don’t think, and now, to be addressing such personal issues–I’m surprised.

But that’s why I’m here. And I just told my son not to be embarrassed, that I’d help.

I can’t let the shock of learning that Avery is sexually starved stir me up right now.

“Avery–” Sutton says, his cheeks flooding with color. I face my son and extend a hand, urging him to calm down. “Sutton, come on. I realize you and your wife have a sex life. Let’s not get embarrassed.”

“That’s my whole point, Sutton. You can’t even talk about it.

I wanted to go down on you after we made love and you couldn’t stand hearing that I wanted to taste us.

” She shakes her head, hands going to her hair, pulling at the stands for a moment.

“You don’t let me in the bathroom while you shower.

I’ve never seen you go to the bathroom. You don’t even get dressed in front of me until your boxers are on! ”

“You want to see me go to the bathroom?” Sutton asks, which earns a wall-rattling groan from Avery.

“No, I mean—yes,” she huffs out, her voice rising, and this is another side I’ve never seen of Avery. Frustrated. And judging by Sutton’s expression, it’s a side he’s never seen before, either. “It’s not that I want to watch you go to the bathroom, Sutt, Jesus, you’re missing the point.”

They both fall quiet again. “You’re looking for more intimacy then?” I guess.

She shakes her head and roots around in the covers before she finds the box again, holding it to her chest. “Sutton, you are an intimate, romantic lover and I love that so much. I really do. But I love you so much that I want more than romantic sex with you. I want… feral, unhinged, carnal, raw. I want you to react when you see me, I want you to show me how much you love me by forcing your way inside me because you just can’t wait.

Taking yourself out in the car on the drive home and begging me to suck you because you need me— my mouth —that bad.

” She shakes her head, casting her shining blue eyes on my son.

He lifts his head, and smooths his hand over his hair, his dark eyes wet. “I’m not built that way, Avery. I’m just not that man.”

She rolls her lips together. “You put me on the kitchen counter. That was… I was so sure that more of that was coming, that you were just waiting until we got married to really just… let go with me.”

The room goes silent after my son speaks again. “I enjoyed that, and you’re right, it was spontaneous for me. But I enjoy having you in our bedroom much more.” He shakes his head, studying the gold band on his finger. “I am not into gratuitous sex with the woman I love.”

“I don’t think gratuitous is the right word choice,” I amend, as Avery’s face plummets.

Her voice is so small, yet it has the ability to nearly cave in my entire chest. “I learned something about you tonight, Sutton. You are judgmental. And I have never felt more misunderstood and judged than at this moment.”

I can’t help but chuckle, and insert a subtle truth in hopes of diffusing the emotionally stiff moment. “He’s always been judgemental, Avery. That’s not new.”

She shakes her head. “Not where I’m concerned. Not until now.”

More silence.

I turn toward Avery. “You’re asking for Sutton to be… more explorative, sexually speaking?”

Avery nods.

I face my son. “And you feel that exploring some of these things is beyond your breadth?”

I haven’t seen him this way in many years. His chin wobbles and he gets to his feet, reaching for Avery, but she doesn’t budge. “I love you so much.”

Avery exhales, broken and shaky. “Answer your dad,” she begs.

Sutton’s eyes never leave hers as he responds, “Yes.”

“Yes, what?” I can’t even remember my own question, because a tear is slipping down Sutton’s cheek, and Avery’s face has gone completely white.

“Yes, I do not believe I can be explorative in the ways that Avery is asking.”

My stomach plummets. I hold no judgement in my heart for either of them–but I am surprised to learn that none of this was discussed before marriage. I turn to Avery, nervous for them as I ask, “Can you forgo sexual exploration?”

Sutton doesn’t let Avery answer. “She shouldn’t have to,” he says, voice thinning. “I want you to have everything you want.”

“I want you , Sutton.”

He shakes his head. “But you want more. You need more.”

She stands in her conviction. “I do.”

He reaches past me, and touches her hip before letting his hand drop. “I don’t want you to go without the things you want. But I can’t live a life of being someone I’m not.”

“Sutton,” I start, fear clinging to every nerve ending inside me.

“I think we should sleep apart,” she says, sinking into the bed, her tears growing frantic and wild. Sutton grabs his bag, and heads for the door.

“Stop,” I call to both of them, though Avery is motionless on the bed. “No one is going anywhere.” Not until this is worked out.