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Scarlett giggled nervously. “I should’ve written them down.” She closed her eyes to avoid being sucked into his and gathered her thoughts. “You said you liked being tied up but when Mateo showed me how to I…” Scarlett took a deep breath. “Well, I didn’t realise you might not mean to the bed.”
“That’s the meaning behind it: submitting to you , giving you power to make decisions for me. Though over time, it has also become a way to inflict pain on myself.”
“Like when you tug on them?”
“Yes.” Ezra sighed, and it made Scarlett open her eyes to find his head bowed.
“It’s complicated. I know I don’t appear to be the submitting kind of man, but I’ve found that handing control to someone else shuts my brain off—for a little while, at least.” He shook his head as if to disagree with himself.
“I’m not sure what exactly it is, to be honest, I just enjoy the conflict it gives me while also giving some kind of peace.
It makes no sense when I hear it out loud. ”
“I don’t want it to make sense, I just want to understand.”
“I don’t even understand myself.”
“But it feels good?”
“Yes, submitting feels good.”
“For a while,” she laughed to break some of the tension.
Ezra nodded and peered up at her through his eyelashes. “For a while.”
“Do you enjoy things other than cutting?” His brows fused as he stared up at her, and when he didn’t answer she became unsure about herself. “I mean, you don’t have to—”
“Scarlett,” her name rolled from his lips like a plea. “You don’t have to do anything you are not comfortable with.”
“I know. I trust that you will respect my boundaries. I just want to know so I can set them.”
Another sigh, and Ezra dropped his head once more. “I have done a few things, cutting, burning, even electric shocks. I’m fucked up. You could drop pure acid on me, and I would beg you for more.”
She’d suspected as much, but it was still hard to picture it even after hearing the words come out of his mouth. “Is that after you discovered vampire blood?”
Ezra bobbed his head. “I have always been very self-destructive, but it has become easier to convince women to push my boundaries with the promise that they can heal me after.”
“They were witches?”
“Yes, with one being a huntress.” Ezra forced a nervous laugh. “She was after the vampire blood, and fucked me up in the hopes that I would show her where I keep it.”
“What happened?”
“She pushed a few too many boundaries and I passed out. When I woke up, she was gone and Mateo had healed me.”
“How did Mateo know to come for you? You can’t talk to each other, right?”
“We can’t, but we can’t share emotions when we’re unconscious.”
“So, he came for you?”
“Of course he did.” Then his voice broke, and it dropped to a whisper. “He always comes for me—and drags Vince with him.”
Scarlett smiled. As she’d suspected, he did love his friends.
“Yesterday, when you cut me…” Ezra’s hand shook, and she began to trace soft shapes across it to soothe him.
“Gosh, it was amazing. Not because of the pain, but because you were the one to inflict it. Fuck, the first time you asked how to tie me up felt like winning the lottery. You are the thing that has been missing all these years and it took me far too long to realise that. You love me even though I can’t love myself, and you are willing to test your boundaries for me .
I will never push you to do anything you don’t want to give, because what you are giving means everything to me. ”
“Stop,” Scarlett ordered. “Because if you don’t, I’ll cry. And I didn’t plan to cry during this conversation.” But Scarlett was already trying to sniff away the tears.
“Scarlett,” Ezra hummed, lifting his hand from her lap to cup her jaw.
“Saying my name like that isn’t helping.”
The smile that spread wide on Ezra’s face chased Scarlett’s tears away. “As you wish, princess.”
She took a moment to focus, trying to clear her mind. “Back on topic. I enjoy tying you up and ordering you around. Well, sometimes.”
“I enjoy that very much too.”
She leaned forward and kissed his forehead, making his eyes sparkle. “I also looked up a few things.”
He crooked his brow and tilted his head. “When?”
“A few days ago.”
“You looked up things to do with me while you were with Vince?”
“Yes. Wait, would that bother you if I looked up things for one of them while with you?”
“That depends on the circumstances.”
“We weren’t doing anything in particular, such as being on a date or in bed or anything.”
“Then I wouldn’t be upset with you.”
“Oh, okay.”
“What were you looking up, princess?” Ezra asked, redirecting the conversation.
“Things I would rather forget, but I found something I might feel more comfortable with than cutting.”
“Do tell more.”
“Wax play.” Ezra’s face lit up. “But no burning,” she quickly clarified.
“No burning,” he promised. “And if you are not comfortable after all, you don’t have to do it ever again.”
She’d known that, yet hearing it over and over again felt relieving. “I assume you’ve done it before.”
“I have and I will talk you through it if you like.”
Scarlett nodded slowly. “I have another question.”
“Go ahead, princess.”
“Do you want us to… I mean do we always have to—”
“No,” he said, clearly understanding the hidden meaning behind her words. “No, we don’t always have to have sex with me tied up and submitting to you.”
That was an even larger relief, though Scarlett tried to mask it. “How did you feel about Mateo and Vince joining us?”
“Good. It’s about you, they add to your pleasure, so I don’t mind them.”
“We never talked about what happened. I also didn’t really know how to ask, so I wanted to check in with you.”
“That is very kind of you. Rest assured, they enjoyed it too.”
Though she wouldn’t admit it, she was jealous of their bond. She wanted to feel their every emotion, having the reassurance that they meant what they were saying. But that was a different kind of talk, one that none of them may be ready for.
Table of Contents
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