Jacy
I gestured toward the playground and the kids on recess under the watchful eyes of their teachers. “Do you wish you could go to school?”
Declan ate his sandwich, munching while watching the kids play, swing on swing sets, play dodgeball and tetherball. “No. I like you teaching me.”
We sat in the park not far from the elementary school, having brought a picnic lunch in a cooler. With the summer nearing its end, and autumn on the way, Declan and I often walked through the town. Though I kept a watchful eye out for Carter or his goons, I saw nothing of either. He doesn’t know where I am. I’m sure of it now.
“Don’t you think you’d want to make friends with other kids your age?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. I have you, max and my cats. And my dad.”
“That’s true,” I mused. “The neighborhood kids seem nice. You might make friends with them.”
“Yeah.”
Eating our lunch, I pondered the years ahead. Declan turning ten, then fifteen. He’ll get his driver’s license. He’ll attend the local high school, play sports, maybe date a nice girl. By then, he’ll have outgrown his need for a nanny. Avery will say thanks for the memories, time for you to leave my house . Then I’ll go, perhaps find another nanny job.
Declan suddenly asked, “What are you thinking about?”
His intuition is at it again. “That one day you won’t need me.”
“I’ll always need you, Jacy,” he said, his tone fierce. “Don’t ever leave. Okay?”
“When you get older, kiddo, you’ll not need a nanny. You can stay home alone, go to school, hang out with your friends.” I smiled sadly. “You won’t need me.”
His mouth set in a stubborn line, he shook his head. “I don’t want to grow older.”
“I hear you,” I said quietly, watching the kids line up to return to their classrooms. “When I was a kid, I didn’t want to grow up, either. Adulting is hard.”
“You grew up, anyway.”
“I didn’t have much choice. Nor do you.”
He said nothing else. We finished our picnic, threw our trash in the dumpster, then ambled hand in hand toward the library. With the cooler weather, we both wore jeans, and the wolf whistles from passing cars diminished greatly. A few other townsfolk walked as we did, most passing us by with quick smiles.
We neared the library, talking about what I’d planned to teach him that afternoon, when yet another passerby strode briskly toward us. Rather than smile and walk on, she paused, forcing us to also stop. She gazed down at Declan, a beatific expression lighting her face.
“What a beautiful little boy,” she gushed. “You’re his mom?”
“No,” I answered. “I’m his nanny.”
Declan, gazing up at her, edged his way behind me, peering around my legs. An outgoing, never shy kid, Declan had never before hidden behind me when meeting strangers. Surprised at his behavior, I nonetheless trusted his instincts.
“Why aren’t you in school, honey?” she asked, bending over to be closer to him.
“He’s homeschooled,” I said, not liking the way she looked at him. “Excuse us.”
I started around her, Declan’s hand firmly in mine, when she asked, “Where do you live?”
“In Bakersville.” Bakersville was two towns north along the interstate highway.
I glanced at her again, memorizing her features as best I could. Middle aged, her brown hair held streaks of gray. She’d pulled it back into a tail and wore a pink sweater over her jeans. Thin, athletic, her face had crow’s feet around her brown eyes. Nor did I like the gleam I saw within them.
“Where’s his mother?” she inquired as Declan and I walked on.
I didn’t answer. Declan watched her warily, his chin on his shoulder, as we climbed the steps to the library’s doors. As I opened them, I, too, looked over my shoulder.
She stood on the sidewalk, watching us.
“Why was she asking those questions?” Declan asked as we strode toward the children’s section.
“I don’t know.”
Except, I feared I did indeed know.
***
The woman was nowhere in sight when Declan and I emerged from the library hours later. As though fearing she’d step out from behind a shrub and pounce, Declan clung to my hand while looking around warily. I, too, watched for not just her, but anyone paying us more attention than necessary.
Nor, as far as I could tell, did anyone follow us.
Declan immediately relaxed the minute we stepped through the front door of our house and locked it behind us.
Wendy and Peter woke from their naps, yawning and stretching their lithe bodies. They’d grown considerably in the last month and had begun to appear more like small cats than kittens. Giggling, Declan laid on the carpet to hold and pet them while they purred, bumping their heads into his chin.
Declan never played with them roughly, pulled their tails, seized their fur in his fist, or treated them with anything save love and kindness. Neither Avery nor I had to chide him for any of that. He behaved that way all on his own.
“Mac and cheese for dinner?” I asked, walking toward the kitchen. “With wieners?”
“Sure.”
Though I suspected the health benefits of mac and cheese were minimal at best, both Avery and Declan loved it. I guess I should admit I do, too. Not healthy, but oh so tasty. Avery would be home soon, I knew, and mentally planned to get the meal together without cooking it until he got home.
My cell buzzed in my pocket.
Surprised, I pulled it out and glanced at the screen. Beth. Though I’d sent her nearly daily e-mails as to how things were going, we hadn’t talked much on the phone. Pleased, I clicked the answer button.
“Beth,” I exclaimed. “Hi, how are you?”
I listened to her choked off sob. “Beth? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“No.” Her tiny voice shuddered as she tried to withhold her weeping. “Jacy, I’m scared. I’m so scared.”
I clutched my phone hard. My heart thudded in my chest. “What happened?”
“Just a sec.”
Forced to wait, frantic with worry, my own fear grew, climbing, until my head swam while Beth collected herself. I licked my dry lips, forcing my questions to the back of my mind. Maybe it’s not so bad. Let her tell you in her own time.
“A guy,” Beth finally went on, her voice low. “A guy came to the restaurant. Looking for you.”
I thought I’d faint then and there. “What did he look like?”
“I dunno. Tall, dark hair. Can’t remember his eyes. Except they were so cold. Inhuman.”
“Oh, God.”
I slid to my ass on the kitchen floor, hiding behind my hair. “Oh, God.”
“I told him you’d quit,” Beth continued after a sniff. “Jim ranted and raved right there about you. How you’d left him in the lurch, gone away. Every customer heard him.”
“Then what?” I whispered.
“The guy told me.” Beth swallowed hard. “He – he said he’d cut me up if I lied to him. He’d find me and cut me.”
“Beth.” I sobbed, crying hard. “Beth, I’m so sorry.”
We wept together, both of us sobbing as we each tried to comfort the other. Occupied with his cats, Declan must not have heard me, for he didn’t come into the kitchen to investigate. Glad of it, I wiped my face with my hands, trying to calm myself down.
“You have to leave, Beth.”
“I know.” She sniffled loudly and blew her nose. “I’ve already talked with my sister in Montana. I’m going there right now.”
“Good.”
I sucked in deep breaths, relieved that my best and only friend would be out of Carter’s reach. “You didn’t tell him where I was?”
“No. Jim started in with his yelling before the guy even asked me. He said you’d left town, gone with some cowboy yo-yo. I don’t know if the guy believed him.”
“He must not have if he threatened you.”
“Jacy.” Beth’s voice quavered. “Come with me. Whoever this guy is, he’ll hurt you. He’ll hurt you bad.”
“I can’t.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “I’ve an obligation.”
“Damn it,” she snapped. “Get out of there. Come with me. He’s your employer, he’ll find another kid watcher.”
“Avery said he’d protect me.”
Beth said nothing for a long time. I began to think she’d hung up, except I heard no disconnecting click. “Beth?”
“What does this guy want, Jacy? Why is he after you?”
“I can’t tell you.” I breathed deeply. “The less you know the better.”
“Christ,” she grumbled. “You sound like the damn mafia.”
“He’s not quite the mafia, but close. Look, get in your car and drive. Don’t look back. I’ll stop e-mailing you for your own safety.”
“Like witness protection.” Beth didn’t sound amused. “Maybe you should call the feds and give this guy up. Start a new life. New name, identity.”
“I wish I could.”
“Christ,” Beth said again. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“It is, honey. Now please go.”
“I will. My sister lives in a big city. Maybe I’ll find a girlfriend up there.”
“I know you will. I love you.”
“Love you, too. Stay safe. And if you change your mind, let me know. We’ll take care of each other.”
“We will.”
After I hung up, I sat where I was, staring at the wall opposite. I’ve dragged someone else I love into this mess. How will it end? My death? His? While her description of the guy didn’t match Carter’s, I knew he worked for Carter. And guessed he didn’t know where I was. Not fully. He knew I’d worked at the restaurant, but would he believe Jim and think I’d left town with some hick?
“Not until he thoroughly scours this place for me,” I muttered. “I should have left here a long time ago.”
My conscience demanded I go upstairs and pack, leave right after Avery got home. Not let him talk me into staying, forget his offers of protection. I had no right to endanger Avery’s or Declan’s lives. No right at all. I stood up slowly and turned to lean my hands on the kitchen’s counter. I gazed through the window to the backyard, thinking of how the hunted fox leads the hunter away from its den.
“I have to leave here.”
***
I inwardly cringed when Avery came home. The fixings for mac and cheese stood ready, the words I’d planned to speak had been rehearsed several times within my mind. My legs stiff, I went to the kitchen door.
Avery kissed the top of Declan’s head, then went straight up the stairs.
He didn’t look in my direction at all.
Before he vanished, I recognized the turmoil within him by his tight expression, the tension in his broad shoulders. What happened? This is more than just a bad day at work. I met Declan’s gaze.
“Dad’s upset,” he said.
“Yeah, I got that.”
I waited, but Avery didn’t return down the stairs.
Declan picked up the kittens and carried them into the kitchen. I followed more slowly, watching as they prowled around his legs, meowing, as he prepared their dinner. He set the bowls on the floor, then stood over them as Peter and Wendy growled at each other while devouring their chow.
I fed Max, who eyed the kittens warily before gulping his own meal. After that, he trotted up the stairs, presumably, to gain Avery’s protection.
I started for the counter, then realized Declan was crying. Silently. No wailing, no loud sobs. His tears rolled down his cheeks to plop onto the floor.
“Oh, baby.”
I crouched beside him and hugged him, letting him cry on my shoulder. “It’ll be all right. I swear.”
“No, it won’t. Jacy, I’m scared.”
What’s to be afraid of? I’m glad I didn’t say the words, for there was plenty to be afraid of.
“I know, kiddo,” I whispered. “I am, too.”