Page 11

Jacy

I should clean up all this blood before it dries.

I didn’t. Instead, I sat in the armchair, facing the door, the Taser in my fist. Listening to the house creak, the whoosh of the refrigerator kicking on, the distant snores from upstairs as Avery slept. Scared to death, I nonetheless prepared myself for Carter, or one of his goons, to break the door down.

I nearly screamed when Wendy and Peter jumped into my lap.

Breathing hard, I caressed their small heads, realizing they were frightened, too. Loud noises, the scents of blood and fear, Declan’s absence, all forced them to turn to a human they trusted. Tiny paws with sharp claws kneaded my thighs as their lilting purrs soothed my soul.

“It’ll be okay, kids,” I whispered, at last setting the Taser on the table. “It’ll be okay. Somehow.”

Pink dawn soon etched the sky outside the windows. The kittens, fast asleep, missed their instinctive need to prowl and feign hunt at dawn, dining on their kibble in the kitchen as their reward. I sat, watching the day brighten outside, and wondered how to leave Avery.

“I must,” I muttered, gazing down at the snoozing cats in my lap. “If I don’t, the next time might get us all killed. Even you two.”

The sun rose higher.

I didn’t move, the kittens didn’t wake. Max ambled down the stairs and wandered over to me, his black nose inspecting the kittens. Wendy woke and busily washed Max’s nose and whiskers while her brother slept on. I caressed his ears, wishing I could take the night’s pain from him. I’d never been zapped by a Taser and imagined what it felt like. For a dog, it was possibly quite traumatizing.

“I’m so sorry, Max,” I whispered. “This is my fault.”

His tail wagged at the sound of my voice, then he turned to walk to the kitchen. I listened as his body opened the doggy door, and he slid through it to the backyard. Wendy turned her attentions to my fingers and washed them with the dedication to cleanliness only a cat can have.

I smiled at her. She reminds me so much of Dancer.

“Look, kid,” I muttered, picking her up to set her beside her brother. “I have to get up.” I stood, stiff, and stretched. Declan stood at the top of the stairs, gazing down at me. I lifted my hand toward him.

“Come on, honey. Let’s get you some breakfast.”

Obeying me, Declan sat at the table in his jammies, watching as I made breakfast. I sensed the questions hovering behind his lips. What should I say in reply? The truth. Even a child of five deserves to hear the truth. Especially when his home was invaded and his father injured.

Declan didn’t ask until after he’d downed his morning cereal. Not hungry, I drank my coffee, watching Wendy and Peter sit patiently on the floor watching Declan eat. Max declined his morning repast, lying near the door with his muzzle on his paws.

“Who was that man?” Declan finally inquired.

“A bad man,” I said slowly. “He was looking for me.”

“Why?”

While I knew the question was coming, I found it difficult to answer. At last, I replied, “I saw something I shouldn’t have. A crime. The criminal knows I witnessed it, and now wants to hurt me.”

“Why?”

“Because I can put him in jail.”

Declan frowned. “But if he’s in jail, he can’t hurt you.”

“True. But he has friends who won’t be in jail and can hurt me. That man last night was one of his friends.”

“Oh.”

Leaving my chair, I crouched beside his to look up into his troubled face. “That’s why I need to leave you, kiddo. Your dad got hurt because of me. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“No,” he cried. “No. You can’t leave.”

“Honey, if I stay here, you might get hurt. If I leave, you’ll be safe.”

His frown morphed into a scowl, an expression that should be comical on his small face, but oddly wasn’t. “I’ll protect you.” His fierce tone startled me. “I can, you know. I have claws and fire. If that bad man comes here, I’ll get him.”

“Thank you, sweetie, but I can’t risk it. I have to go.”

“You hafta stay here and take care of Dad,” he said, stubborn. “It’s your job. Right? You take care of Dad and me.”

I sat back on my heels, defeated. How can a five-year-old be clever enough to utilize emotional blackmail? Well, he just did. He was right. I couldn’t abandon them now. Avery was in no shape to care for Declan, and he needed me to nurse him back to health.

“You’re right,” I murmured. “I’ll stay until your dad is well again. Then I’ll leave.”

Declan smirked. “I’ll find a way to keep you.”

***

Avery lay on his back, staring at the ceiling when I quietly entered his room. His gray flesh hadn’t regained much color, and lines of pain encircled his nose and mouth. He rolled his head on the pillow and tried a smile.

“Mawning,” he drawled.

Sitting on his bed’s edge, I cupped his cheek and pressed my palm against his brow. “No fever.”

“Told you, I don’t get infections.”

My guilt at not leaving when I had the chance made it hard for me to breathe let alone meet his eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault.”

“It is. That guy was after me.”

“So?”

At this, I met his steady gaze briefly, then looked away. “I’m endangering you both. I’d leave now, but.” I shrugged. “Declan pointed out I can’t leave until you’re better.”

“He’s a smart kid. Takes after me.”

“This isn’t funny, Avery. Next time, you could be killed. Or Declan – hurt. Killed.”

His healthy right-hand clasped mine. “Look, keep your secrets. I don’t care why this dude is after you. Only that he is. I promised to protect you, and it’s a promise I intend to keep.”

What could I say to that? I found nothing at all to say. I stared down at our linked hands, wondering whether luck was with me or against me. I’d been trapped into staying here because Avery and Declan needed me. Maybe I need them, too.

Leaning forward, I kissed his mouth. “I’ll get you pain pills, then change your bandage.”

“Okay.”

Declan and Max came into the room as I cut the old, stained wrap from Avery’s left arm. Declan leaned on the bed, watching avidly while Max jumped onto it and lay next to Avery. The wound, while red and angry, showed no appearance of any infection. Avery stroked the dog’s head and smiled wanly.

“See? I don’t get infections.”

Irritated, I snapped, “What are you? An alien?”

“No,” Declan answered, “we’re –”

“Just as human as you,” Avery said, overriding Declan. “I’m just lucky that way.”

I sighed heavily. “Somehow I don’t believe luck has anything to do with it.”

I carefully rewrapped his arm, then helped Avery to the bathroom. While he used the toilet, I returned to the kitchen to make him something to eat. Both Declan and Max followed me, Declan to help and Max to lay on the floor again. He still didn’t eat his food, though the kittens inspected his dish. The chunks of kibble were too big for them to crunch, so they made do by scooting the food across the tiles, then chasing them.

By the time Avery finished the eggs and toast I’d fixed him, the pain killers had kicked in. I tucked the covers around him as he drifted to sleep, then stood looking at his handsome features. Are we fated to be together? Is this why I’m deterred from leaving? That something or someone wants me here?

I’m not one to believe in a higher power. There’s still something to be said for forces in the universe making plans for all of us.

Or maybe I’m not right in the head and am seeing things that aren’t there.

***

“I have to leave town in a few days.”

As he healed, remarkably fast as he’d told me, Avery worked at the kitchen table on his laptop. He no longer required a bandage, as his wound had closed. The angry red shade had long since vanished. Shutting the computer down with a sigh, he said, “I hate to leave you alone, but this is a great account, if I can get it.”

“Don’t worry about us,” I said from the stove where I prepared another batch of mac and cheese with wieners. “We’ll be fine.”

At his silence, I glanced at him over my shoulder to find him staring at me. “What?”

“This guy could be watching the house,” he said at last. “He’ll know when I leave and you two are by yourselves.”

“Got a gun?” I asked lightly.

“No. But maybe I should go buy one.”

“I was joking. I’ve never fired a gun in my life.”

“I’m deadly serious.”

“We have his Taser,” I said, inwardly ordering myself to not be nervous about his leaving. “Non-lethal. And we have Max.”

He eyed Max lying on the kitchen floor. The dog had begun to eat again, thankfully, but much of his usual exuberance hadn’t returned with his appetite. I hoped it soon would.

“He’s not a guard dog.”

“He’ll give us warning. Look, you’re being overprotective. We’ll be fine.”

“I hope so. If you drive me to the airport, you can keep the car. I want you to have it available.”

“That’s cool.”

“I can trust you, right?”

His question struck me like a fist to my solar plexus. Slowly, I turned from the stove and caught his stricken expression. “ Wha t did you just ask me?”

“Sorry, that didn’t come out the way I meant it,” Avery began.

“Are you kidding me?” I demanded, my fury ignoring both his face and his half-assed apology. “ Trust me? If you don’t think I’m trustworthy enough to care for Declan, then why’d you hire me?”

Avery looked down. “What I meant was, will you stay with Declan even if something does happen?”

“Like I’d abandon him and head for the hills?” I shook with rage. “You can actually look me in the eye and think that’s what I’d do? You’re a real piece of work.”

“I’m sorry, Jacy. It just came out.”

“I’m sure it did. Your subconscious just informed me as to what you really think of me.”

“No, that’s not –”

“When you get back, you piece of shit,” I growled, “I will leave. Start looking for another nanny now. Consider this my notice.”

“Jacy, wait –”

“It’s your turn to fix dinner. I’m done.”

Stalking from the kitchen, I ignored Declan’s questioning expression as I passed by. He sat with the kittens on his lap, watching an educational show on the history of America. I climbed the stairs, two at a time, and barely halted the impulse to slam my door after entering my room.

Too pissed off to lie down, half-thinking I should have gone out, gone for a walk instead of coming here, I paced. My anger squirreled my thoughts into near incoherency. Only a single thought rampaged – how dare he think that of me. Just how does he fucking dare?

My fury failed to relent until hours had passed. It also took all my energy. Tired, gazing out the window at the dark street illuminated by a few streetlights, I wondered if I had enough money to make it to Montana.

Fuck this place and everyone in it. I’m gone like yesterday.