Page 33 of Fatally Yours

In life, one of my favorite activities was cruising along the dusty highways beside August while his silky voice serenaded me into a state of bliss.

Now, that activity was muddled by our sins.

It felt like we spent more time in the car in the past few days than we ever did in life, and now all I could think about was spilling blood and a hunger for revenge instead of how much I wanted to doze off, wrapped in the embrace of his voice.

“ My sinister lady of the stars. She brings her doom on a silver platter, served to me like her love would be… ” The sun was slowly falling over the horizon, illuminating the sky with an array of pastel colors, lined with an ember glow lacing around the clouds.

Just like before, August was singing a tune, joyful as ever to enact our ominous plan.

My head was pressed against the cool glass, staring into the endless highway leading us to our goal.

“I’m tired,” I muttered, tossing a scrunched-up map from my lap onto the floor.

And that was the truth. Even if it wasn’t a physical need or craving for rest, I felt like I couldn’t shut my mind off.

My thoughts were supercharged, like someone hooked up a car battery to my skull and was filling my head with endless torments.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” I said, lifting from the window. He tore his eyes from the road and gave me an unreadable look.

“Have you been hungry once since you died?”

“No…”

“You shouldn’t be tired either.”

“I’m… emotionally tired.” And that was the truth.

The mood swings from being anxious about what we were doing and my death-induced wicked behavior was almost too much for me to handle.

I stuck out my lip in a slight pout, but he didn’t seem to notice.

He stayed silent as we rode on. His lack of response did nothing to quell the electric thoughts zapping through my lobes, and I set my hand on his leg in a poor attempt to get his attention.

“What are we going to do after we confront Randy?” I asked. He didn’t tear his gaze from the road, making my shoulders droop.

“Kill him.”

“I know that ,” I said. “ After.”

“Whatever you want.” I took in a breath but couldn’t find the words to speak.

Whatever I wanted? He knew fully what that was, but it seemed like an impossibility we could no longer achieve in our undead state.

There was no going back to normal after this.

No normal life, no normal situations, no normal thoughts.

We could get close, but in the grand scheme of things, there was no returning to what I wanted. He continued.

“We could get jobs, find a place, get married—”

“Get married?” My chest tightened, and I swore I thought my dead heart would restart from the sheer excitement of that word. We discussed it on occasion, but that was just in passing or in plans for the future. It was distant, but this confirmed that it was closer than I could imagine.

“Yeah,” he said, taking my hand in his. “I was planning on asking you before… you know.” Without realizing it, I balled my fists until August gave me a concerned expression as I almost crushed his bones to dust.

Randy Clark took that chance away from me.

He took everything away from me. I could never have an average life because of his reckless actions.

All of this was his fault, and whatever revenge we would enact would be a just punishment for the multitude of lives he ruined.

Not just mine, not just August’s, but his other victims as well.

“What would’ve been your answer?”

“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “It would’ve been yes.”

“I’m glad.” His dimpled smile made my chest ache, or maybe it was the storm of emotion swirling in my head. A lump formed in my throat, and I had to bite down on my tongue to stop the torrent of sorrow that was threatening to spill from my eyes. It was my dream, so why did I feel so crushed?

Because I couldn’t have it.

“We could’ve invited your parents, your family.

Hell, maybe I’d call up my folks, even if they can’t stand the sight of each other,” he said with a soft smile.

“Mandy, Wes, Scotty, maybe even Devin, so I could rub it in his fuckin’ face.

” Digging my nails into my palm, I thought about how badly I wished I could feel pain so I could distract myself from how much I wanted to bury my face in his chest and mourn what could’ve been.

“And Nick Nelly and Chappy’s entire crew, if you wanted,” he added.

I tried desperately to keep my stare out the window so he couldn’t see the tears threatening to spill down my cheeks.

Yes, it was a beautiful dream, wasn’t it?

All our friends and family at our little wedding, celebrating our love and beginning our journey into the future. It was a dream I could never have.

“And you’d look like a goddess in your dress.

Your dad would walk you down the aisle even though he thinks I’m a bum.

You’d be crying, and I’d hold your hand—” I let out a small sob as I tore my hand out of his, covering my face as my emotions overflowed.

My chest felt like I was weighed down with stones as I tried and failed to stop my outburst. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his shoulders fall as the tires scraped along the shoulder.

“Sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said, running his hand through my hair as I continued to weep.

“It might not be our dream wedding, but I will marry you. That’s not changing.

Ever. ” I sucked in a steadying breath, trying to stop the eruption of tears.

After a few moments, I felt the burden lift from my body, and I wiped my face with the back of my hand as we journeyed on.

“Can we stop somewhere? I need a break from… thinking.” I wanted to say living , but that felt too vulgar.

“Of course.”