Page 63 of Fatal Deception
“Ooh,”Franny said, clearlynotdisgusted.
The juxtaposition almost made Audra smile.
“First things first. Start at the beginning. No leaving things out to keep me from worrying. I’m worried. There’s no more or less.”
Audra really didn’t want to, but it was clear Copeland wasn’t going to let her minimize this to Rosalie, and Rosalie would get the details out ofsomeone, one way or another. So Audra had no choice but to relent.
Which left her feeling…exhausted and like a failure. Something she was so tired of. So…over.
What if you stopped blaming yourself for everything?
She wanted to laugh, because the voice in her head sounded far too much like Copeland blaming her for being a martyr. Because she was. Because… Because by handling everything these past four years, she’d built her life on the crumbling foundation of her father’s lies, and it wasn’t earning her any awards.
What if she could…use this as a new starting point? What if she could…think about change, aboutleaninginstead of all the holding tight that hadn’t really served her?
It wasterrifying, but she started with the very small step of telling Rosalie and Franny everything from the beginning,without glossing over things. Without downplaying or insisting it was fine.
Franny was gripping her arm by the time she got to the fire, and Rosalie looked like she was going to start throwing punches, but Audra forced herself to keep going. All the way to Karly’s arrival and her interaction with their half sister.
Audra thought about the conversation as she relayed it. Those earlier thoughts about how odd it had been came circling back. “Karly said that Dad always talked about hisancestral home.”
Rosalie snorted in disgust. “Yeah, fat lot he cared about that.”
“He did though. Maybe not the way we wanted him to, but he did. And he signed it over to me a while before he died. Before his son would have been old enough to have any part of it.”
“Not to protect you, Audra.”
“No, I don’t have any illusions about that. Because he told his son about it. His son who, according to Karly, bought in to the whole thing. So why did Dad tell his son about something he’d given me? Acted like he’d get it one day.”
“Because he was a dick?”
Audra sighed. “Yes, but it’smore, isn’t it? If you set aside the hurt daughter and think like a PI. Copeland’s trying to track Austin down, but he’s missing, so we can’t go to the source. If Karly knows why he told them, she won’t say. So I have to try and think about this from Dad’s point of view. If you’re living two lives, how do you make sure they never connect?”
Rosalie shrugged. “Be a lying bastard?” She wrinkled her nose when Audra frowned at her. “Okay, okay. Think like a PI. You’d just have to make sure those lives never connect, right? They were in Idaho. We were here, and pretty isolated here at that. We had no reason to suspect anything, so…isn’t it that easy when you’re a lying bastard?”
“Maybe, but I’m starting to wonder… She was so angry. Karly. So bitter. About me, about us. She only came here because shethought Copeland would be a lead to Austin. And if Austin is the one doing this, that’s even more than anger and bitterness. It’s like…”
“Revenge,” Franny said thoughtfully. “Blame and revenge.”
“Yes. I guess,” Audra said, nodding at Franny before turning her attention back to Rosalie. “Which means they both have so much anger and bitterness. No curiosity about us, about creating a relationship. And I know you weren’t as gung-ho about reaching out as I was, but you weren’t…angry atthem, you know? Even at breakfast, you weren’t…mad atthem. You were mad at Dad.”
“And still am.”
“Sure, but don’t you see what I’m saying? They’ve nursed these bad feelings. It’s not ambivalence. It’s…ire. And maybe they used that for these years since Dad died. Maybe they leaned on anger over grief and that’s all there is to it.”
“What othermaybesare there?” Rosalie asked, but not like she didn’t know, like she wanted Audra to say it. While her expression sharpened into that private-investigator look.
Audra shook her head. This was the thought she didn’t like, but it kept poking at her. Thehatein Karly’s gaze. The rejection right after the funeral and every moment since. Where did that kind of rejection and vitriol come from?Maybejust grief. But maybe…
Audra really thought it had to be deeper than a secret brought to life. “Rosalie, what if theyknew?”
“Knew…about us?”
“Yes. Before Dad died.”
“You think Dad told them about us in an effort to keep us…divided? Apart?”
“I think it might make more sense than them being as blindsided as we were and as…closed off as they’ve always been.”