Page 55 of Fatal Deception
Questions she didn’t want to ponder right now. They had stalls to muck, and she really wanted to tell him he didn’t need to help. Shereallywanted to tell him she could handle this. She just had to find a way to explain it to him in a way that didn’t sound like martyring herself.
“If something comes up that you need to handle—”
“Relax, Audra. Laurel will handle it,” he told her as they shrugged their jackets on. She’d scrounged up some very old work boots of her dad’s in the stables and he was using those when they were out on the ranch.
“She’s got Austin’s information, the name Isaac and your mother’s whereabouts to go off of,” he continued, stepping outside with her. “I’ll look in to what I can later, once we’re done with this, but if we’re going through all the work of staying put, you might as well get your work done.”
Audra didn’t know what to say to that, because it made her feel guilty, but she also realized Copeland wasn’ttryingto. Which meant the guilt was her own doing, and she didn’t love that realization.
They walked over to the stables in quiet. If she kept taking the ibuprofen at the correct intervals, her ankle mostly didn’t bother her, which was a relief. Copeland barely even bugged her about it now.
Audra knew Copeland wore a gun, knew the way he walked, looked around, was all in thatcopmanner. Looking for threats. Looking for clues. But when they came to a stop at the stables, and she unlocked the padlock that kept the doors shut, she turned back to see him gazing out at the horizon. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen him look out at it like that.
Not coplike. Not detached. Not seeking out a threat. But just…a soft kind of appreciation of the beauty all around them. Like he enjoyed it here. Could find some kind of belonging here.
Which was ridiculous, of course, and her fairy-tale heart complicating things just like it always did. Best to nip that in the bud.
She opened the doors, gestured him inside and went to gather the tools. She handed him his shovel, met his gaze with clear, determined eyes of her own.
“I’m sure Rosalie and Duncan will insist on staying here once they’re back, even though they shouldn’t. Add Franny and it’s a full house. You won’t have to stay here. I’ll have help and constant babysitting.”
He didn’t say anything at first, just took the tool and turned to the first stall. After a few stretched-out moments, all he said was “We’ll see.”
Audra didn’t know what the hell to do with that. So they worked in silence, cleaning up the stalls, brushing down the horses.
With her truck still out of commission—something she wished she’d taken care of or could get taken care of before Rosalie got back, but too late now—she’d need to take the horses to go back on a windbreak on the far corner of the property. Itlooked a little weak the last time she’d been up that way. She also needed to check on a few of the cows and make sure they weren’t getting too thin with all this bitter cold. She’d need to do some separating soon if there wasn’t a change there.
Lots to do, always, but the stall cleaning went quickly with Copeland’s help. Once they were done, Audra surveyed his work. “You’re not so bad at mucking stalls.”
He grinned at her. “It’s not such a bad chore. Kinda nice to do something physical outside of a gym. The horses might even be growing on me.”
“Well, good, because we’re going for a little ride to check on some things.”
He agreed easily, helped her with saddling them up. He seemed interested to learn, not just help, which Audra didn’t know what to do with. Rosalie helped with the ranch a lot, didn’t require any teaching, but there was no love there. Nointerest. It was a duty and duty only for her.
Franny offered to help, but her head was in the clouds and it was usually easier for Audra to handle it herself and let Franny tackle any household tasks she felt necessary.
Sometimes Norman or a hand from the Kirk Ranch came over and helped, but Audra always made sure she returned the favor. She wouldn’t let herself grow debts that made people resentful, like her parents had.
So she didn’t know what to do with Copeland’s interest, pleasant attitude, or aptitude for the chores and the riding. Except take things one step at a time.
They rode out to the windbreak, and as Audra suspected, part of it had fallen over. She’d need to nail some boards back into place. She gave Copeland a few instructions, hauled her tools out of her saddlebag and then got to work.
It would have been nearly impossible to do on her own. She probably would have been forced to call Norman. Then she’dhave felt she owed him a favor, and that would have sat like an uncomfortable debt there in her brain.
Almost like you’re your own problem, Audra.
But what if she couldn’t handle it all? Everything would fall apart. She’d been holding everything together for as long as she could remember. She was the glue, the foundation. Without her…
She rubbed at her chest. It was getting tight, and while she wasn’tproneto them, sometimes when things were especially stressful, she suffered a panic attack or two. But she handled it. She always handled it. And no one knew, because she handled it.
But Copeland was right there, and she knew he sensed something was wrong when his arm came around her shoulders.
She breathed carefully, kept her expression as neutral as possible. When she trusted her voice, she gestured at the windbreak. “We do good work.”
“Yeah. And this really helps the cows stay warm?”
She nodded, some of the tightness in her chest easing. “Yep. Next up, we’ve got to check on a few of them. If they get too thin, they’ll have to be separated so I can ensure they’re eating and can give them some winter supplements.”