Page 83 of Fatal Betrayal
"I've had good training."
"Training doesn't account for everything. Take the compliment, Andi."
"I will, because you don't hand them out very often. You've been a really good partner, Cooper. You were the first one to spot the intruder on the monitor. That gave us valuable seconds."
"That was luck."
"Better to have good luck than bad."
"I can't argue with that."
"Finally."
He smiled as he dragged the pillow under his head so he could support his neck and see her better. "Look who's talking. You're the champion of arguing."
"I can be too competitive," she admitted. "I hate to lose."
"You always have. You take losses too personally. Not everything is a personal failure. Some problems just can't be solved."
"Logically, I know that. Emotionally, I still get a sick feeling in my stomach when I can't make something right."
"You do more than most to right a wrong. I've always admired that in you, Andi." He paused. "Now tell me something you like about me."
Wariness entered her gaze. "Why would I do that?"
"Because after everything we've been through today, we should let go of the bad feelings."
"Can you do that, Cooper? You have far more bad feelings about me than I do about you."
He thought about that for a moment. "I have to admit that hating you has become a habit, maybe even a reason to not look at the real truth, at my own failures."
"You're going to have to explain that."
He rolled onto his back and stared at the odd shadows dancing across the ceiling from the light outside the room. Then he said, "I couldn't make things good for Kyle. I wanted to make him okay, but I couldn't do it."
"I know you tried," she said softly.
"It's taken me a long time to make peace with his death, to acknowledge that it wasn't just about the horrible time when he was accused of kidnapping and other heinous crimes. That experience was traumatic, and it haunted him. I won't say it didn't, but there were other issues, too. Instead of spending so much time fighting and hating people who didn't treat him well, I should have tried to get him more help." He still felt a frustration that he didn't think would ever go away. "I used to feel guilty that he was messed up and I wasn't. It seemed unfair. We both came from the same parents. Why didn't I have to carry his burden?"
"Because you couldn't. You were you. Kyle was Kyle. Your parents loved you both and Monica, too, of course."
"They were good parents. They tried hard to give Kyle the best life. But they didn't see everything that was happening. I was at school with him. I was his age. I saw more than they did. Sometimes, I just didn't want to see it."
"Like his car the night of the kidnapping," she said quietly. "You knew it was Kyle, just like I did."
"Kyle didn't take Hannah."
"That wasn't what I said."
He rolled back to face her. "I honestly thought you were wrong, Andi."
"Then or now?" she returned, her gaze boring into his.
"You always ask the hard questions."
"You don't have to answer. You started this conversation."
She was right, but he did have to answer. "Then," he said. "I honestly didn't believe Kyle was anywhere near our street that night. And no one ever proved that he was."
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