Page 19 of Fang (Lotus MC: San Antonio #2)

I can feel the adrenaline shooting through my body. I try to push it down, but there is no use.

Bailey grabs my arm, pulling me into some room, shutting the door behind us.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe. The guys won’t let anything happen to us,” she tells me.

I wish reassurance would make it go away. My breaths are shallow as my heart tingles in my chest. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. I hate feeling this way. I hate that something as simple as a rowdy crowd breaking glass could trigger this.

I thought I could handle it, but I can’t. What if I can’t handle Fang’s lifestyle at all?

“This isn’t working,” Bailey mumbles to herself.

Something bangs outside, making me jump. Bailey curses.

“Well, fuck. I guess I have to do it,” Bailey says.

I look at her, unable to ask her what she means.

“So when Savage was six, he once peed his pants. Seriously, full-on peed all over the front of his pants.”

I don’t know why she is telling me this, but it is giving me something else to focus on.

“Yeah, I know. You want to know why. Well, I didn’t know it at the time, but he had a crush on me and didn’t want to let me out of his sight. He had asked me to go to the bathroom with him, but I didn’t have to go, so he held it until he couldn’t anymore.”

I suck in another breath as I can feel my lips upturn a little.

That’s actually really sweet.

“It wasn’t sweet, like I can tell you are thinking. He’s an idiot. He’s done all sorts of things over the years in my name.” She shakes her head.

My heart is feeling less tight. “Tell me about some of them.”

I feel like I’m choking, but what she’s doing is working. I’m thinking about her and Savage rather than what’s going on outside that door.

I take a deep breath. Then another.

“When I was thirteen, I started my period at school. He noticed before I did and cut himself so people thought the blood was from him. What kind of sane kid does that?” she asks.

I reach out for her hand. She gives it to me immediately as I squeeze it.

“A kid in love.” I sound stronger.

“Well, he was an idiot kid. When Larry Finkleman made fun of me in the sixth grade, Savage hung him on the flagpole by his underwear, then made him apologize to me.” Bailey rolls her eyes.

“Wait, people actually do that?” I laugh a little, feeling much better now.

“Savage sure did. He had a thing for old-school teen movies. I think he learned all his moves from there.”

“That’s really sad.” I let out another laugh, my chest feeling a little achy but normal. “Thank you, Bailey. I think I’m okay now.”

I let go of her hand.

She nods. “Can I ask what happened out there, or will that make it worse again?”

I shrug. “Talking about it doesn’t cause the panic. I have some childhood trauma related to violence. I think it was the glass breaking that triggered it.”

She nods. “I’m sorry. I’ve never helped someone having a panic attack before.”

“I don’t honestly know how I get myself out of them, to be honest, but talking helped. I don’t think I was in a full-fledged attack either. If I get that bad, I’m replaying the violence over and over again. It wasn’t like that this time.” I tell her.

“Well, the guys are handling all the rowdy guys out there, so don’t worry. I meant what I said. Savage and Fang won’t let anything happen to us. Neither will the rest of the guys. Well, the ones from this chapter. I don’t know the other chapter well.”

“I don’t like them too much,” I admit.

She nods. “Savage told me one of them grabbed you. I’m sorry. That’s a horrible introduction to club life. Please don’t judge Fang on that one guy. I promise we aren’t like that normally.”

I smile. “I know. Fang has been nothing but kind to me. We had a bit of a miscommunication earlier, but we straightened it out.”

“I probably didn’t help with that. What is up with these men failing to communicate well? He didn’t even tell me that you were coming. I thought we were better friends than that.” She huffs.

“He didn’t invite me himself. He sent the invite through Happy, or Happy invited me on his behalf, I don’t know. Either way, when I got here, I thought he wanted me here as a dancer. Trust me, I know what you mean about communication.”

“Men. Am I right?” She rolls her eyes.

“The worst.”

“Like, Savage is a great guy, but why does he leave his socks on the floor? The hamper is right there. He can walk the two steps over to it, but instead he sits down, peels them off, then tosses them in the general direction, almost never making it into the actual hamper. It annoys me to no end,” she says, but the smile on her face says she’s joking.

“Oh yeah. I bet that is the worst.” I laugh trying to imagine it.

“Trust me, you will figure it out for yourself one day. Men are great for some things, like opening tight jars, reaching the top shelf, and the orgasms they give us, but in other areas they suck. Ask them to take the trash out? Five to ten business days. I swear.” She crosses her heart as if she is making a serious statement.

She is so over-the-top about it that I can’t help but burst out laughing.

She joins me. “You think I’m kidding, but I cannot wait for the day you call me and start the conversation with ‘Let me tell you about this bastard.’ I will be the one laughing as you complain about all the little things that annoy you.

Don’t get me wrong. You still love them to death, but sometimes you think you could stab them.

Just a little bit. Maybe with a fork. In a meaty area with no vital organs. Like a shoulder.”

I can’t breathe with the way I am laughing. My stomach hurts as I try to catch my breath. I can imagine it too. Sweet Bailey stabbing big, serious Savage. He would probably welcome it with the way he dotes on her.

Could that be what it would be like for me and Fang? Could I fall in love with him so much that even when the little things annoy me, I still want to be with him?

I’m envious of Bailey and Savage. They seem to have it all figured out. I want what they have.

I only need to be brave enough to grab onto it.

“They need to go home.” I groan as we make our way toward the office.

Savage laughs. “You used to party with the best of them. Now that you got yourself a girl you don’t like it anymore?”

I shrug. “I don’t like that they were disrespecting our clubhouse.”

His face turns to stone. “I will be having a discussion with their president about that in the morning. Bailey killed herself to make this place nice. I refuse to let them ruin it.”

“Agreed.”

As we approach the office, I prepare myself for the mess that Cami will be. I should have taken her home. I shouldn’t have subjected her to this shit.

This is my life, though. I hate that I’m not sure how to have her and this life too. I want them both.

Opening the door, I’m surprised when I hear laughter. When I see it’s Cami barely keeping it together as she laughs, the weight on my chest lifts.

“Sounds like you two are having fun,” I say, glancing at Bailey as I mouth “thank you.”

She nods. “Yeah, I’ve been informing Cami here what it’s like to be with a biker man. I’ll warn you, Fang. The socks better make it to the hamper. Don’t risk your shoulder.”

That sends Cami into another laughing fit as Savage groans.

“Seriously? I have done better. Why do you have to torture me like this, Hellcat?” Savage walks over to her, pulling her from her chair. She goes willingly into his arms.

“Better, but I still found socks on the floor yesterday, so yeah.”

Cami chokes out. “Hide the forks.”

That sends Bailey into a laughing fit.

“The party is shut down. I’m taking you to our room and showing you why my socks shouldn’t matter. See you two later.”Savage bends, picking Bailey up over his shoulder as he turns to leave.

“Bye, Cami. Get my number from Fang. Let’s hang. I like you,” Bailey calls out as she is carried away.

After she’s gone, I walk over to Cami, holding my hand out for her. She takes it, standing to step into my arms.

“Are you okay?” I whisper.

“I am.”

“Good.” I kiss her forehead. “I’ll walk you to your car and follow you home.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t want to go home yet. Could we maybe go for a ride?”

She looks up at me with such an openness on her face. I always want to see her like this. I don’t want to ever see those walls again.

“Of course. Let me grab a jacket.”

I grab her hand, leading her down the hall into my room. I grab my leather jacket, helping her put it on. Then I wrap my arm around her and head out to my bike.

“You look good in my jacket,” I tell her.

She wraps it around her, taking a sniff of it. Then she smiles. “I like it.”

It’s a huge step giving her my jacket, but there’s no one around to see it. It’s like a soft opening of a restaurant. I’m trying it out to see how I feel about it. If I had any doubts, they are long gone.

I’m a sucker for this girl.

We go through our routine of getting ready to get on the bike. When she slides on behind me, I close my eyes and savor the feeling of her against me.Then I turn the bike on and head out of the compound, nodding at the prospect at the gate.

I take a leisurely route around the city, letting her enjoy the view as I focus on the road.

“Can we pull over?” I hear her in my ear, the first words she’s said since we started.

“Sure. Let me find somewhere less busy.”

“Okay.”

I wind away from the city until I come to a little dirt path. I wind through the trees until we stop in a little field. I help her off before sliding back and picking her up to straddle my hips. I take off each of our helmets, letting them drop to the ground.

“Is everything okay?” I ask her.

She nods. “I wanted to thank you. I know I’m not easy to deal with sometimes. My reactions to things are a hindrance, but you never act like it’s a bother. Thank you for that.”