Page 48 of Falling Stars (Wild at Heart #2)

BAYLEE

As I sit in the stands and stew over that conversation with Nicole, the sky darkens. Leo cries out from his car seat. I pick him up and try to feed him, but he’s not interested. I turn to Paige. “I think Leo’s had enough of the rodeo. I’m going to take him home.”

I drove by myself since Maverick came early to help his brothers. I see them down by the arena celebrating another win. The McAllisters are in second place right now. With one competition left, I think the Walkers have it in the bag.

“Are you going to be okay?” Paige asks.

“I’m trying not to panic. Being here today took my mind off things for a while.” Until I ran into Nicole.

Rory left a little while ago, so I hug Paige before I make my way down to Maverick. When he sees me, he gives me the biggest smile. “Hey, Bay. Did you see Jace kick everyone’s asses in bronc riding?”

“I did. You killed it, bro.” I high-five Jace, which is a challenge since he has a woman hanging off both of his arms.

Turning back to Mav, I motion over my shoulder. “Leo’s getting fussy, so I’m going to head home. I’m starving. ”

He closes his eyes. “Damn. We were gonna grab some lunch together. I’m sorry. I totally spaced.”

“It’s okay. I’m not really in the mood for arena food. I’m glad you’re having fun with your brothers.” I watched them down hot dogs and burgers in between events. I didn’t have the heart to interrupt their fun.

When he wraps his arms around me, a cold, hard wind blows through, and for some reason, I feel this is the last time he’ll hold me.

“Let me carry Leo back to the car for you.”

“I got it. It’s okay.” I need to get used to not having Maverick around. He won’t be here to carry Leo or feed him at night or help me change him. It’s back to being a single mother.

“Are you sure?” He brushes the hair out of my eyes before he leans over to kiss me.

His brother yells his name, and I paste a smile on my face. “Go. I’ll see you soon.”

My heart beats in my throat as I watch him walk away. I can’t shake the feeling that this is the end.

When I get home, I look around the condo. It’s going to feel empty without Maverick.

I fight the desolate ache in my chest and get Leo out of his car seat, feed and change him. “Is that better, baby?”

He gives me a crooked smile as he stretches his arms over his head. “Ba.”

“Did you just try to say ‘better?’” I’m putting words in his mouth, but I don’t care.

His sleepy eyes droop, and I put him down for a nap since he didn’t really get one at the arena. Tonight’s going to suck because he’ll be up at weird times. I use the time to break out the peanut butter and jelly. I slap some bread on a paper plate and as I’m mid-sandwich, my phone rings.

I slide my finger over the screen. “Hey, Mom. ”

“Are you okay? I’ve had a bad feeling all day.”

“Can you describe this feeling?” Because those are no joke. When my mom gets a vibe, she’s almost always right.

She hums. “It felt like a disturbance in the Force.”

My mother and her Star Wars references. “Well, Maverick’s leaving tomorrow for New York, and I’m freaking out. Does that count?”

After a moment, she sighs. “I don’t think that’s it, but I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wish I could snap my fingers and make everything work out for the two of you.” Her voice goes soft. “I know you’ve always loved him, but sometimes, love isn’t enough.”

I’m not sure I can handle her truth bombs tonight. “I know I don’t share much with you about my love life. I think… I think it was hard after watching what you went through with my father. I was really angry about it for a long time. I wanted more for you.”

“I know, mija . I wanted more for myself too. That’s why I fought so hard to make that work, but now that I look back on my life, I wish I had let him go.”

I still. “What do you mean?”

“I wish I hadn’t held on so tightly. I think Francisco and I might’ve worked out down the road if we had just broken up while he was playing ball.

But I couldn’t deal with the idea that he might’ve been dating other women.

So even though we were together, we spent most of that time arguing about where he went and who he was with. We were both miserable.”

A beat passes where we’re probably both remembering how he cheated on her. “I get positively rabid at the thought of women touching Maverick.”

She goes quiet again. “Have you considered that maybe you should let him go play football for the next few years and see where you’re both at when he’s done? ”

“What if he meets someone else?” I ask, my voice cracking.

“What if you meet someone else? Unfortunately, both are possible. I’m not saying you should sit around and wait for him. Go live your life. Raise Leo. Date other men. I’m just afraid you two are going to ruin your friendship trying to be lovers while he lives on the opposite side of the country.”

Kill me now.

When I don’t say anything, she continues. “Have you two made a plan? When you’ll talk? When he’ll return for a visit? When he’ll fly you up there to see him?”

“We… we both agreed to play things by ear. I think we wanted to enjoy our time together.”

“That’s not very promising, Baylee.”

My heart sinks. “But he might not even get the go-ahead to play. He has to go see his doctors. I think we’re maybe waiting to see what they say.”

“What do you see? What feeling do you have about his future in football? You have the same gift I do. I know you sense something. What is it?”

I swallow past the tightness in my throat. “I’ve had a recurring dream about Maverick.”

“And?”

Closing my eyes, I replay it in my mind. “He’s in a huge stadium after a win. He’s on the field, and everyone’s congratulating him. But it’s not what I saw in the past, with him winning championships in high school or college.”

“It’s the future.”

“Yes.”

“So then he’s going to keep playing.”

I cover my mouth briefly as though that will help me contain my emotions. “I think so.”

“Then there’s nothing you can do to fight that future, nor should you.

He has to choose his own destiny, just like you have to choose your own.

So I ask you, do you want to be in Wild Heart, always worrying about Maverick and who he’s with?

Worrying if girls are sneaking into his hotel rooms?

Worrying if they’re being inappropriate with him?

Because that’s the life you’re signing up for. I would know.”

I shake my head. “That will make me crazy.”

“Then you have to choose yourself and Leo. I love Maverick like he’s my own son, but I’m not sure trying to scrape together a relationship while you’re so far away will do either of you any favors. Because I’ve been in your shoes, and it’s not a path I’d wish on anyone.”

With the back of my hand, I wipe my tears. “Why do you always have to make so much sense?”

“The road to wisdom is paved with pain. I wish it was paved with Godiva chocolate and those little puff peppermints I love. But at the end of the day, if you and Maverick are meant to be, it will happen. The way the sun rises in the morning or the moon rises at night. The way stars shoot through the sky. Because you’ll be inevitable. ”

“I miss you, Mom.” I wish I could hug her. We’ve never been apart for so long before, and I feel her absence acutely.

She sniffles. “ Mija , I’m sorry I can’t be there with you right now and be a shoulder to lean on. I was always there for Amara when she had trouble with her ex. But know this. You’re strong. You can do this.”

I’m almost afraid to ask. “Do what?”

“Be a single mom.”