Page 21 of Falling Stars (Wild at Heart #2)

“No, you shut up. You’re a badass, and I think you need to accept it.”

Rolling her eyes, she chuckles. “Don’t embarrass me.”

I shift my chair so I’m facing her more. “Here’s the truth, though. You don’t have to do this on your own. Let me help. Let me watch Leo in the afternoons.”

Her smile withers away. “That’s… That’s a lovely offer, Mav, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re going back to New York in a few weeks, and I already told you I’m staying here.

” She shakes her head. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to spend so much time together.

You’ll be leaving soon, and then I’ll be on my own again.

I appreciate your offer, but I don’t think I should get used to having you around. ”

Panic rushes through me because I know I’m losing her.

“Let me phrase it another way. You’ve always been my favorite person, Baylee.

You understand me in a way no one else has.

I know we’ve only recently reconnected, but I can’t ignore my feelings for you anymore.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I’d like it to include you. ”

As she holds Leo, she stares at the table.

“As much as I’d like to take you up on this, I’m not sure I can be vulnerable with you again, Mav.

I’ll always love you as my friend, but I don’t think I can go any further than that.

Because if we don’t work out, I’ll be crushed all over again, and I’m not in a good place right now to handle that. ”

I did this to her. I made her put up these walls. “What if we take things slow and work on building trust?”

“Mav, my number one priority is creating stability in Leo’s life, but if you’re in the NFL, you’ll be gone more than you’ll be around. What kind of life is that for my kid?”

The slab of concrete sitting on my chest can only be described as crushing disappointment. I clear my throat. “Well, at least let me prove that I’m not the asshole I was in high school.”

Her lips tug up. “You weren’t always an asshole. You were pretty sweet too.” After a moment, she reaches out and grabs my hand again. “I hear what you’re saying about the pressure you felt, and while I obviously didn’t like how you dealt with it, I want you to know I understand.”

“Can we at least be what we used to be to each other? Before things got weird? What if we didn’t think about New York yet and just focused on repairing what we broke?”

“You need to focus on your rehab, doofus.”

I shrug. “I’m probably going to be forced to retire. Why get my hopes up?”

She stares at me. “Mav, you’ve never talked like this.

You’ve always fought so hard to make it to the NFL.

You can’t give up now. As lovely as this condo is, you can’t spend the rest of your days holed up in here.

I’ve thought a lot about what you said at the ranch, and while part of me is terrified you’ll play again, the other part knows you’ll be crushed if you can’t. ”

“Bay, can you keep this between us?” When she nods, I finally let myself voice what I haven’t told anyone else. “Nothing gelled for me in New York. Not my team, not my roommates, and not New York.”

“What was wrong with the team? Aside from sucking?”

I smile at her honesty. “Thank you for not blowing smoke up my ass.”

She smirks. “Anytime. Now stop avoiding the question and tell me why you didn’t like it.”

“There was zero camaraderie. Everyone was out for their own stats. And our coach was an asshole who made constant threats about trading me if I didn’t earn my salary.”

“That blows. ”

“It messed with my head. I was always second-guessing what I needed to do and how I needed to play.”

She repositions Leo. “Injuries aside, would you be considering retirement if your team had done well and you had a coach you liked?”

“It’s hard to tell. Getting crushed by a few three-hundred-pound linemen rang my bell. I’ve never woken up in the hospital before. It got me thinking about the bigger picture. I mean, is it worth playing football if I get pounded again and never walk? Or hell, what if I die?”

Her eyes get glassy. “I’m sure that had to be terrifying.”

“What really got me was the thought that I’d never see you again. That I’d never get a chance to apologize for not fighting harder to make us happen. It made me realize I’ve been a fool.”

She hugs Leo, like she needs to be comforted, and whispers my name.

“Bay, I couldn’t say this on the phone. I needed to do this face to face.”

Nodding, she closes her eyes briefly. “Thank you. I know I’ve said some harsh things today, but you still mean a lot to me. And I’m sorry you’ve had a difficult time in New York. I just don’t want you to regret giving up.”

Tilting my head, I squint at her. “That’s what you think I’m doing? Giving up? Because it’s taken a lot of work just to get off my ass and walk again.”

“I’m sure it did, and I’m not trying to make light of that.

Only I get the sense that you’re giving up on yourself.

If you hate the NFL and don’t want to return, that’s one thing.

But if you’re afraid to try and unsure of yourself, that’s another.

I just don’t want you to wake up in a few years and regret the decisions you’re making right now. ”

“So what do you suggest?”

“You should go for it. Give rehab everything you’ve got.

Do this for yourself to reclaim your life.

Because the Maverick I know loves the game with his whole heart and soul, but I haven’t seen you ice your injuries the entire time you’ve been here.

Once you’re back to yourself and physically well, that’s the time to make big decisions. ”

I suck in a breath. Goddamn, she knows me well. “You’re right. I’m not giving it my whole heart.”

She leans down until our eyes connect. “You can still decide to retire, and no one will think less of you. In fact, that’s what I would prefer because watching you get injured shaved off five years from my life. But I don’t want you to think less of yourself because you didn’t try.”

Fuck. I didn’t see this coming. Frustrated, I scrub my face. “But no matter what happens, you’re staying here?”

Baylee gives me a sad smile. “I’m staying here, but I promise I’ll always be your number one fan.”

I stare at her beautiful face as her words sink in. This isn’t right. This isn’t how things are supposed to go. Baylee is my endgame.

In this moment, it finally clicks—how wrong I was when I was seventeen.