Page 18

Chapter 17

Penelope

“Okay, and you are free to go,” I say to Sarah, the little four-year-old who came in this morning with a gash on her forehead.

The poor little babe fell off her jungle gym at home, and her mother was a wreck when they came in, blood all over her white top, making it look a lot worse than it was.

“Are you sure she hasn’t done any permanent damage?” her mother asks with fear, and I give her a reassuring smile.

“I promise. The tests all came back clear. She’s had five stitches, and they all dissolve. Don’t get them wet within the next twenty-four hours, and after, it should be okay. Just don’t soak them. If you have any concerns, come back in or call the number on the pamphlet I gave you,” I answer her, and she nods, her body relaxing a little.

I give her and her daughter a smile, then turn and leave the room, trying to ignore the pain in my breasts.

I need to pump.

I notice Doctor James across the ward and sigh, knowing he will give me another case. I look down at my top, hoping the breast pads will stop any leakage.

Apparently, I need to play catch up .

“Remind me never to buy Hudson a jungle gym,” I say to Kelly as I walk up to the nurse’s desk that she’s taken over, and she chuckles.

“Boys need jungle gyms, Pen. Otherwise, they’ll drive you insane,” Doctor James says as he walks over, and I scrunch my nose up and shake my head.

“I just had to watch Dr. Cannon stitch up a four-year-olds forehead, my son is not having a jungle gym.”

He laughs and nudges me, and I chuckle as I hand the forms to Kelly, who is busy eyeing up the doctor. I can’t help but grin.

Apparently, they had a little thing in the storage closet when I was on maternity leave, and she wants more, but Doctor James doesn’t.

He apparently has slept with five nurses since and hasn’t looked back.

“Hope we’re not interrupting…” A deep voice says from beside us, and I turn, instantly recognizing it.

My whole body lights up, and the memory of his fingers deep inside me hits me and I know I’m blushing; I just know it.

Every time I look at him, I remember the orgasm he gave me before he went and jacked himself off in the shower. He then plated up our curry and acted like it didn’t happen, all while I wanted to jump his bones.

Damn man, knows exactly what he was doing to me.

He knows I’m headstrong and that I’ve basically looked after myself for years, so how else to get through to me than playing with my body? Then walking around my condo in nothing but sweatpants while holding our son, making my ovaries scream at me to mate him again.

“Oh my, it’s Taylor Evans,” Kelly whispers, and l turn to see her looking at him with lust as she fluffs up her hair. I turn back to Taylor, tense, making him smirk my way.

Jackass.

Doctor James says, “Have you been sent here through ER?” I look at him and see him fumbling through paperwork and smirk.

Guess the doctor is a hockey fan, huh?

“Uh, no,” Taylor answers as Hudson squeals, and I look to see my boy squeezing his fists my way, and my breasts begin to ache again.

Guess it’s feeding time.

“He’s here to see me,” I answer Doctor James and walk over to my boys; I uh, I mean – crap…

Shaking my head, I take Hudson, whose hands go straight to my top, making me chuckle, and I turn to my charge nurse and lead doctor, whose mouths are both open wide in shock.

Taylor wraps his arm around my waist possessively, causing Doctor James' eyes to go there as well, and I look at the man slowly invading every aspect of my life to see him glaring.

“Huh, good to know,” I mumble, making him look at me as I repeat his words from that day in the café, and he grins wide, not ashamed to be caught claiming me.

I roll my eyes, look back at Kelly and the doctor, and say, “Doctor James, Kelly, this Taylor, Hudson’s father, and this little boy is my baby, Hudson.”

Kelly’s mouth opens and closes while Doctor James clears his throat and says, “It’s uh, nice to meet you,” then looks at me and asks, “I’m guessing instead of expressing like you were arranged to do, you’d rather just feed him?”

I nod and say, “If that’s okay?”

He nods, looks at Taylor, then back at me, and says, “Only if I can get an autograph. " I laugh and look at Taylor, who shakes his head with a smile.

He kisses my head, melting my heart, and takes the pen off Doctor James while Huddy mumbles, and pulls at my top.

Shaking my head, I say, “I’ll leave you to it,” And walk to the unoccupied room across from us, knowing Taylor will most likely follow. My heart eases having Hudson back in my arms.

Today is my first day back at work, and even though on the outside I’ve stayed strong, on the inside, I’m falling apart and feeling nothing but guilt over leaving Hudson. I need the money to keep a roof over his head, so I feel conflicted, and my emotions are all over the place.

I don’t know how other mothers do it; I really don’t.

My eyes tear up as Hudson starts to get cranky. He’s hungry and most likely picking up my emotions, so I quickly sit, pull up my top, and unclip my bra before I get him situated.

As soon as he’s in position, he latches on with ease. I relax as a few tears fall, allowing the horrible feeling of leaving him to consume me just for a moment.

The door opens quietly a few seconds later, then shuts, and I quickly wipe away my tears as Taylor rasps, “I really wish you’d just accept my help, Firecracker.” I sigh, but he continues, “I get it. You are independent and strong, but he’s only two months old, and you are struggling without him.”

I look at the man slowly taking my heart, who has invaded my life, staying on my couch, doing the housework, and getting up at night with our son. I can’t help but fall some more.

There’s no judgment in his eyes, only concern.

“I need to do this,” I admit, “and not just because of money but because nursing is who I am, and I can’t lose myself all because I had a child. I need to balance them both which is why I’m only back part-time; it’s the first day, Taylor, so I will struggle a little.”

He sighs as he sits on the bed next to me and gently cups our son's head while he nurses, and even though I’m exposed, it feels so right.

“I came to talk to you about the game next week,” he admits as he looks at me, “I knew it would be around the time you pump, so I figured you could nurse at the same time.”

I give him a grateful smile.

“I know you’re working, and I, look, Mom wants to watch Hudson while you’re at work,” he admits, and my eyes widen slightly. He continues, “Dylan said he’ll pick him up from here at the beginning of your shift. He’s up early anyhow for training, then drop him off as soon as you’ve finished, and he promised to keep his crazy wife away from Huddy.”

I lick my bottom lip, and instead of going into how he needs to divorce Xanthe, a woman I have yet to meet, a jersey chaser who tried to trap his brother and is making his life hell daily, I ask, “Your mom wants him all four shifts?”

He winces and admits, “She did, but I told her that was too much. I know how much the connection through nursing means to you, so I told her I’d speak to you about having him for one shift so you can gain confidence in her and my dad, who promised to be there the whole day, and my sister.”

One shift doesn’t sound too bad; honestly, every time his mom has called while he’s been at mine, she’s been begging for more time with Hudson.

I swallow the lump forming in my throat and agree, “We can trial the one shift,” and he smiles at me.

“Thank you,” he says, and I nod as I sit Hudson up and pass him to Taylor, who instantly puts him on his shoulder and starts patting his back as I put my breast away.

“Do you need to pump the other?” he asks as Hudson lets out a large burp, making me smile.

I shake my head and state, “No, because he’s fed; I’ll just pump in four hours.”

He nods as he passes me back our boy, and I sit him on my lap. He plays with my top, squealing with delight when he finds my lanyard, bringing me nothing but happiness while Taylor watches on until someone knocks on the door, and he groans, knowing full well it’ll be more hospital staff wanting autographs.

I grin and state, “That’s what happens when you’re a pro hockey player.”

He retorts, “Says the girl who had no idea who I was when we met.”

I bite my bottom lip to hide my grin, but he sees it as he winks at me, then stands and walks to the door.

I hear a lusty female voice say, “Oh wow, you really are Taylor Evans,” and I narrow my eyes, and as if feeling my jealousy, Taylor turns his head my way, and his eyes soften.

“I’m only yours, and the only reason I’m doing this is so they don’t hound you at work,” he admits, then turns back to my colleagues to sign autographs, and my heart softens.

I want him, I do, and not just because he’s Hudson’s father but because that night, I gave him all of me, including my heart. I never got any of it back; I just don’t know if I’m ready, I don’t know if he wants me because of Hudson. I don’t know if I can handle it if he hurts me.

But I guess only time will tell.