Page 22 of Falling Backwards (The Edge of Us #1)

MAGGIE

Saturday shows up gray and rainy. Because of that and how late the girls and I stayed up with wine and movies after work last night, much of me wants to sleep in.

Or snuggle in my blanket and mess around on my phone for a while.

Or kind of, sort of, a little bit daydream about certain things that happened yesterday.

Even the smallest whisper of them makes my chest feel strange.

If I’m being completely honest, my thoughts also kept me awake last night, not just the movies. And after I did fall asleep, I woke up a few times with my fingertips on my eyebrow.

My heart is still skipping beats over how he touched me.

Luke touched me—my face, my scar—and he was almost tender about it, and every moment stirred me.

God, I can feel it coming on in earnest now: the desire to lie here and just think some more.

As I’m adjusting my twisted-up pajamas so I can get more comfortable, a knock lands on my door and Joy calls out the idea to go get caffeine and food.

After a few moments of serious deliberation, I decide not to pass that up. Sustenance is important and letting my mind wander in circles around Luke is…precarious.

There’s a great local coffee shop not far from home. Soon, we and Emma are huddled at a table next to a window. Our drinks aren’t ready yet, but we’ve all started on our food: bacon breakfast sandwiches for me and Emma, a jalapeno-and-cheese kolache for Joy.

Across the table from me and Joy, Emma groans around a bite. “So good.”

I nod big while I chew my own.

Joy agrees.

“I know. Freaking love this place.”

Then she gently elbows me.

“Wanna take any coffee to Luke?”

I contemplate it, but the huge clock on a nearby wall makes the decision for me.

“He’s probably asleep. Even after he wakes up, I don’t think we’ll have time to catch him before he goes to work.”

“Aw, okay. Well, I’m so excited to have an easy morning with my girls!”

Emma smiles.

“Me too! It’ll give me the strength to deep-clean my room later while you two are gone.”

“Sure will,”

I say. Then I perk up.

“Joy has a fun night planned for after she gets off work!”

Emma gasps, remembering like I have.

Joy sets down her kolache and claps her hands together.

“Yes! My blind date with Asher!”

After a beat, she frowns and tilts her head. “Wait….”

Now Emma looks at her with amused puzzlement.

“I thought you said his name was Axel.”

I burst into laughter.

Giggling, Joy turns wide eyes on me and clutches my arm.

“Oh my God, Maggie, what’s his name? Do you remember? ’Cause I actually don’t think it’s Asher or Axel!”

I shake my head because, no, I don’t remember. She told us last night while we were enjoying that bottle of wine after our long days. And she doesn’t have the guy’s contact information, so she can’t check that; her boss set them up and gave the details verbally because the lady claims to be good at this kind of surprise-romance thing.

Emma has been staring at Joy with her mouth open, and now she bursts into laughter too.

“Oh, hell! Are you serious, Joyful? You can’t think of his name?”

Joy puts her hands over her mouth and cracks up.

“Let’s hope this isn’t an omen for the date going badly!”

I gasp.

“No, it’s the opposite! It’s the start of their memorable how-we-fell-in-love story!”

“Oh, yes!”

Joy claps again.

“Yep, that’s the one we’re going with!”

Our names start getting called from the front counter, so we all joke that she’ll remember who she’s going on a date with after she gets some caffeine in her system.

Well, even after ten or fifteen minutes of relishing her latte, she doesn’t.

At least the coffee is invigorating against the dreary morning.

A bonus morning-brightener is that none of us spot anyone who resembles Kyle…although, to be honest, the idea that he could appear at any moment does leave an immovable weight in my stomach.

But if I’m not seeing him anywhere, I don’t want to get hung up on possibilities. So I choose to enjoy this outing.

Outside the window, the wind is shifting the rain here and there, and I remember how it felt to hurry out of that when we arrived. Shocking though the chilly wetness was on my face, it, too, felt invigorating in a way.

I remark.

“I love cold weather.”

Joy nods.

“So do I, but I don’t dare to hope we’re done with warm temperatures just yet. The weather around here has a hard time abiding by seasons.”

Emma loves warm weather, though, so she looks out the window and wrinkles her nose.

“It’ll be holiday time soon,”

Joy adds.

“What are y’all doing for Thanksgiving? My moms called first thing this morning and started making plans. I’m gonna visit them for a few days the week of. Gotta be at work on Friday afternoon, though.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing yet,”

Emma says.

“Kinda wanna go see my mom and sister. Kinda wanna live on the couch at home.”

I agree.

“The couch sounds good. The couch and some easy Thanksgiving food.”

“You’ve read my mind, sister.”

I add.

“I work the day before the holiday and the day after, but my parents are going on a wedding anniversary cruise anyway, so none of us planned on taking a trip to see each other.”

Joy presses a hand to her heart, her expression sweet.

“I love that!”

“Yeah! I’m glad they’ve been having such a good time in general. They adore California.”

Now her hand, shoulders, and expression drop into unhappiness.

“I wanna live close to Disneyland too!”

Emma chuckles sympathetically while I try to reassure Joy.

“Well, they don’t really live close to it. They live a couple hundred miles away.”

“Girl, that’s so much closer to it than we are, it’s practically down the street from them!”

Serious though she is, she joins my and Emma’s hearty laughter.

We kill more time at our table in this way: talking and laughing about our usual random mixture of things.

After a while, Joy and I want to know if anything is going on with Emma and Paxton. As casually as ever, she shrugs and says they plan to get together tonight or tomorrow. They’d like to get drinks at Merritt’s, apparently.

“But,”

she says more quietly.

“that also sounds like a fun plan for you girls and Luke to join in on, except Paxton and I know Maggie might not feel like going over there in light of the Kyle thing.”

The thought of seeing him there again, pouring dread over my fun times with my friends, makes my stomach twist up. Makes me want to curl in on myself.

Until I think of Luke.

He would be with me. He would steady me and protect me.

Memories of yesterday come back into my mind, putting a feeling in my stomach that isn’t at all like the one from seconds ago.

“Maybe,”

I tell Emma. After a pause.

“I know Luke and I aren’t very far into this thing, but I’ve already been feeling like having him with me makes everything better.”

The way that sounds makes my heartbeat stutter, makes me feel suddenly flushed.

I shake my head.

“I mean, he makes everything ‘better’ as in—as in he makes everything feel safer. He makes me feel better because I feel safer. He makes the world feel less scary.”

Emma nods, looking mildly amused.

“Yeah, totally.”

“Totally,”

Joy echoes. I glance at her and see her hazel eyes are gentle.

“I’m glad he does that for you, my love.”

Emma tsks.

“Luke Bramhill, knight in shining armor. Who’d have thunk it?”

We all chortle together, but my heartbeat still doesn’t know how to act.

My friend is right, but she also isn’t.

Luke may be lending me his armor for a while, but it’s not shiny and he’s not really a knight. He’s the boy who broke my heart—charitable though he’s being right now, that’ll always be true.

Certain words of mine from yesterday try to rise up my spine and lift my thoughts to a new level.

But I fight tooth and nail to stop them in their tracks.

I wasn’t talking about us when I said those things. I was trying to convince him that refusing to change his dirty-dish layout is a bit ridiculous.

However, all of this reminds me of something Luke-related that is safe territory, so I’m glad to think about it instead.

I pick up my coffee and refocus on my friends, who have started each other yawning through suggestions of what to do when we leave here.

“Let’s go by the grocery store,”

I suggest.

“I need a few things.”

The rain outside catches the corner of my eye, giving me an idea.

“And if you guys want, we can get a bunch of snacky stuff to eat while we spend hours on the couch.”

The girls sit up straighter at that, interested.

Emma points at us.

“We did run out of time to restart Once Upon a Time last night.”

“Oh. My. God,”

Joy says. “Yes.”

My excitement about the idea heightens too. Nodding eagerly, I vacate my chair, and the girls do the same.

Not only are we ready to be comfy at home with one of our favorite shows, but I’m looking forward to carrying out my little Luke idea.

I’ll be seeing him at work later, and I want to be prepared.

—

When we get back home, I bite the bullet and get ready to do a workout. I feel more like going for a walk than bothering with the more challenging stuff, but the weather says no.

With that in mind, I check the forecast, then text Luke. He should be awake now, or at least soon.

ME: Would you maybe be interested in walking at the park sometime tomorrow or Monday? The rain should be gone by then, and I’m ready for a day off from HIIT

Now, like it or not, it’s time to get started on my exercise.

While I sweat my ass off, Joy and Emma start making little pinwheel sandwiches. Those are one of the things we decided to snack on in a while. By the time I’m finished, they almost are, too, and all they need me to do is help make a garlic-and-chipotle aioli that Emma has gotten us hooked on.

As I’m finishing peeling a bunch of garlic cloves, my phone dings on the counter. I lean over and check the screen.

LUKE: I am, in fact, interested

I quickly rinse my hands of garlicky stickiness so I can reply.

ME: Yeah? Maybe finish shopping first?

LUKE: Exactly what I was thinking

Pleased, I smile to myself. What a nice plan.

ME: Okay, great

LUKE: It’s a date

The words tingle down my spine.

I reread and re-reread them.

His typing indicator comes back up, and I’m struck by nervousness about what he’ll say next. He might be taking back that last thing. Or taking back that he can go anywhere at all with me. Or—

LUKE: What do you think, should I get into writing poetry?

Poetry?

After a second of re-re-rereading, I get the joke, and a laugh escapes me.

ME: Yes, right away! Look at that top-notch rhyme

LUKE: I know, look at it. And I just came up with that on the fly

ME: Natural talent if I’ve ever seen it

I realize I’m steadily giggling at the same time that my also-giggling friends make it clear they’ve been watching me.

“Is that Luke?”

Emma asks suggestively.

“What’s he saying that’s got you so bubbly?”

Joy adds.

“Is he divulging all the delicious secrets behind making perfect margaritas?”

That has me laughing anew.

But even though this conversation with him is light and innocent, I actually feel like keeping it between us. Don’t really feel like sharing it with the girls.

In truth, I also haven’t shared the fitting room story with them. I want that to stay ours.

So I tell them.

“He’s being goofy in a way that doesn’t get on my nerves.”

Before they can ask anything else, I tack on.

“I forgot about asking for drink secrets, though. I’ll do that soon. Should I only mention margaritas, or…?”

As I hoped, this distracts them. They start listing off other beverages that they’d enjoy knowing how to make.

I don’t catch all of them, though. My brain wants to go back over the messages instead of pay attention.

Luke really can be funny sometimes.