Page 83 of Fallen Gods

“Safety first!” Sigurd warns. “And good sportsmanship. If you’re hit with a Nerf dart, remove yourself from the game.”

“An honor system among college students during a Nerf war,” Ziva muses.

Yeah, it’s gonna be a freaking free-for-all.

“You have ten minutes to come up with a plan of action,” Sigurd tells us. “And yet again, welcome to—”

“Endir University,” we all say in an array of bored tones.

He’s already got us trained. Maybe that’s his plan? Get the hammer, control the world, and fill it full of mindless drones.

“Lovely, lovely.” Sigurd claps along as more cheers erupt around us.

I tilt my head and stare at the oblivious look on his face. “Can we shoot him?” I whisper.

Ziva lets out a long exhale. “Yeah, methinks he’s perpetually high and completely oblivious of the world. I’ve heard you need to block shit out when you’re a genius, evil or otherwise.” She cocks her Nerf gun.

I try not to fixate on what Ziva said. I don’t claim to be a genius, but I know what it’s like to need the silence.

I sniff and ready my gun, taking a look around and grimacing. Most of the people on my team look like they’ve never participated in organized sports a day in their life, let alone shot a Nerf gun. I’m betting they’re gamers, though, and that’senough to work with.

I clear my throat. “All right, troops, gather round!”

I see some familiar faces from the welcome ceremony, and I smile encouragingly at Hector and Jillian the psych major as we collect our armbands. Yellow for us. Blue for the Berserkers.

“Raise your hand,” I shout, “if you’ve ever playedCall of Duty!”

Almost every hand pops up.

“Perfect. Just make sure you have good aim, enough ammo, and help each other if you run out.”

I spin toward the right half of our group. “There’s a nicely lit trail that most of you use as a shortcut from the dorms. They’ll expect us to take it to get to the fountain faster. You have to be like the wind, offensive line. You hear me, Vikings? Run like Hel’s hounds are coming for your souls!”

I turn to the middle of our group. “They’re going to be hiding in the trees and bushes beyond the trail, using darkness as cover, so our best bet is to draw them into the open field and use the chaos to our advantage. That’s where you’ll come in, sacrificial distraction people. You, my brave and noble friends, will be our diversion. Some of you might get hit protecting others so they can push through, but just go with it.”

I expect enthusiasm, but all I get are blank stares.

I clear my throat, then turn to my left. “You four, you’re going to the dining hall. Guard our flag with your lives. Protect it at all costs.” I snap my fingers. “Porn star guy, Jameson.” He stands a bit straighter. “I’m not saying flash them if they get too close, but you were named that way for a reason. We all have a destiny!”

“Oh my word,” Ziva mutters.

I spin to Gaby. “They’re coming into your kitchen! You gonna let them take your cupcakes?”

She shakes her head.

“Homestead that shit, Gaby. I want you to go straight-up Amish on their asses.”

Eira raises her hand, and I stare her down. “They killed your succulents.”

She growls. “Blue Team is going down!”

“That’s right. That’s right! Okay, team, let’s do this! There’s no crying in baseball—or capture the flag. You hear me, people? Second place is still losing.”

My team cheers.

And then a few seconds later, they’re back to milling around.

I eye the scoreboard. Two minutes before we start.