Page 18 of Fallen Gods

I shrug. “As okay as ever.”

So no, I do not feel okay. I swear if my therapist tells me one more time to journal my feelings when I have episodes or weird dreams, I’m going to explode.

I can tell by the way my brother’s squinting at me, he’s gonna say something stupid. “You look upset,” he says finally.

“No shit, Reeve. Do I? Look upset?” I stomp over to the window and focus my gaze on the mountains past the lake. Frost forms between the panes of glass, distracting me. “Is it cold outside?”

“Huh?” Reeve plops onto my bed and leans back. “You do have a phone, you know. With a handy weather app. It’s not any colder than normal. All the freshmen are currently out doing their normal weird pre-orientation shit, which means the dining hall shouldn’t be super busy if you wanna grab some food to calm that temper of yours. I hear carbs work wonders.”

“Yes, because fries always make me forget my anger. Good idea,” I snap, then turn around. I take a deep breath and sit down in my desk chair, spinning to face my brother again. “Sorry.”

“An apology?” Reeve’s eyebrows shoot up. “I’m honored. And for the record, I’m annoyed she’s here, too, all right? Let’s just get through this semester without murder on our hands. People look up to us, you know? So keep your shit together as much as possible, which means avoidheras much as possible. And if you do run into her, well, try not to rip her head from her body.” He hesitates. “Please?”

I scowl. “It’s tempting. I mean, why the hell is she even here? At the collegeourfamily founded?”

Reeve drags a hand down his face and yawns. “I’m still trying to figure that part out. Point is, she’s here. Her father’s beyond powerful, and the last thing we need is a bad rep for Endir. It’s the family legacy, right? We play nice for a few months, you graduate, we’re free. Easy.”

“Yeah,” I mutter and run my hands through my hair. “I guess.”

I flinch when something drops on the other side of the wall.

Rey. I clench my hands into fists, but I get up and move toward the sound.

Reeve looks from the wall to me, then back to the wall. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

I’m never okay, but it’s nice that he asked like the answer will be different, when we both know I haven’t been okay in a long time.

Averylong time.

I rub my hands down my face. “Yeah, sure, whatever. Let’s just get out of here.”

He goes to the door while I grab my phone from my nightstand.

I numbly follow Reeve out of the room, letting the door click shut behind me. My heart thumps against my chest faster than normal as I pass her door, and Reeve and I get on the elevator.

He hits the lobby button. “So, I hear goat yoga is really relaxing.”

“Shut up, Reeve.”

“What?” He holds up his hands. “Stop being so hostile. Goats are really cute! Or maybe a cat café. You can drink coffee, do your homework, have a nice little puss—”

“Donotfinish that sentence,” I grumble.

“It was a good opening.” He sighs. “Anyway, point is, we just have to keep you distracted so you aren’t fixated on her.” He tries to catch my gaze, but I remain staring straight ahead. “Whyareyou fixated on her? I mean, I know we both hate her for good reason, but she’s just a girl.”

No. She isn’t.

And I can’t explain why I feel so strongly about that, other than when she was given the choice to run from his control, she stayed. I can’t respect that. Plus, there’s something deeper to her, something more sinister. My grandfather’s done hishomework, and so has Reeve. We know everything there is to know about her family and how she was raised. We know she’s dangerous, yet nobody else seems to see it. Maybe that’s what gets me. She’s trouble, and yet she somehow seems to charm everyone she meets.

I’m so wrapped up in my own thoughts that it takes me getting to the lobby to realize that I forgot my wallet.

“Ugh.” I shove Reeve out of the elevator. “I have to go grab my wallet. Wait for me.”

“No worries.” He salutes me and glances over at a group of female students. “I have ways to stay occupied.”

He’s such a sleaze; it should be written on his shirt as a warning to unsuspecting future partners. He says he loves love. I think he just loves the attention.

“Yeah, I bet.” The elevator doors close.