Page 23

CHAPTER 23

ANNA

T he thing you don’t realize about a self-imposed time-out, is that sometimes being left alone with your thoughts can be good, but also it can get…well, one-sided. Look, I took the first few days of being home, alone, and not going out anywhere very seriously. I needed to decompress from all of it.

I’d called Ben and asked for some time off, which he and Molly gave me easily. Then I spent more time in front of the TV than I have in years. I watched The Vampire Diaries , again, as well as Gossip Girl . All of them. Every episode of both shows in a week. You may ask how, but I can only tell you that I did it like it was my job.

I discovered the beauty of ordering Uber Eats and groceries to the house. By the third day on the couch when another delivery appeared, Dad finally gave in and we loaded apps to his phone so he could place orders on a whim if he wanted, too. Winning.

When the weekend had come and gone without me leaving the house, my father tried to coerce me out with bribery. He started stealthily, leaving crumpled pink bakery bags, clearly marked Shelly’s, in the trash so I could see them. Finally one morning, after seeing three shoved in the trash, I had to know.

I point to the trash can in my hands. “Why are you doing this?”

“Throwing trash away?” Dad asks innocently.

“Throwing all your Shelly’s evidence in here so I see it.”

“Does it fire you up?” he jokes.

“Maybe.”

“Do you have FOMOA?”

I cock my head to the side. “FOMOA?”

“Fear of Missing out Allthetime.”

“Pretty sure that’s not a thing.” I chuckle. “And ‘allthetime’ is not one word.”

“Today it is.” He squints as he looks at me, wrinkling his nose. “Have you even showered this week?”

“This,” I say, pointing an accusatory finger his way, “is why I’m looking for a new place to live.”

When my dad’s eyes widen with shock, I realize I may have dropped this on him a little quickly. Part of my checking in with Anna has been to look at boundaries, and this is one. But it’s a good one.

“You are?”

“Yep.” I put the trash can back under the sink. “Want to see it?”

Dad scowls. “No.”

“Come on,” I say, tugging his hand. “Let me show it to you.”

“Bring the computer here.” His stance is stiff, prompting me to roll my eyes.

“Did I say it was on a computer?”

He looks at me, confused. “Unless it’s Anna’s Moving Castle, I don’t know how you’re going to show me your apartment.”

“Dad!” I tug on his hand again. “Follow me.”

We walk to the front door, outside, and down the sidewalk. As we stand on the street, I tie my robe a little tighter around my waist and adjust the mop on my head. Could my hair use a brush? Yep, but I’m all in right now with this “I’m finding myself” thing. It pairs well with unwashed Anna.

“Okay, stand here.” I pull him in front of me on the sidewalk and aim his focus down the street. Standing on my tiptoes, I point over his shoulder. “You see that old Victorian building at the end of the street?”

He points, too. “Way down there, about three blocks?”

“Yep.” I twirl around him and land in front of him, grinning. “I’m going to go see a one-bedroom for rent there later today. I can move in on the first of next month if I like it.”

“Thank goodness,” he says, wrapping his arm around my shoulders as we trudge back inside together. “All of this inner retrospection had me worried you’d leave the state.”

I shake my head and look at him with faux disappointment as we head back inside. “Why is it that men think the worst? Just because I say I need time to myself does not mean I’m going to chop off my hair and color it pink or move to another state…”

“Anna, I’m your father. You can’t pull one over on me, not when I remember the times someone broke your heart and you did go chop your hair off.” He pauses to consider that time of our lives. “Come to think of it, you colored your hair pink too, didn’t you?”

“I did.” I giggle as he holds the front door open. “But that’s my point. I’m moving there so I can get space for me. That’s all. Why don’t you come with me when I go? My appointment is in two hours.”

Right then, a cell phone begins ringing. Since it’s not the sound of a chainsaw, I know it’s mine. I grab it from my purse in the hallway and glance at the screen.

“It’s Sutton.” I wave the phone in the air. “I need to take this since we’ve played phone tag the last few days. But two hours, yeah?”

“I’d love to.” He kisses my head before he walks away.

I’m still thinking about how lucky I am to have the dad I do when I press the phone to my ear.

“Sutton?”

“I’m so glad we finally connected!” she cries out. “I’ve missed seeing you around this week. Are you doing okay?”

“I’m getting better.” Which is true. Time gives you perspective, and that’s what I wanted. What I needed. “I wanted to say thank you again for everything.”

“To me? Girl, I didn’t think you’d be thanking me; I thought when you disappeared this week you were gone.”

“Why is everyone thinking that?” I fight back an incredulous laugh. “You helped me kick-start getting my dad out of his financial trouble. Everything happens for a reason, and we got it over the line. The end.”

“The end?” Her voice is hushed. “What about Ollie?”

What about Ollie? “I’m still figuring that one out, but that’s not why I called.”

“I figured,” she says with a chuckle. “It’s about the offer, right?”

“It is.” I fix my posture so I’m standing up straight and holding my chin high. I’ve been practicing for this. “Thank you, Sutton, for the offer. Honestly, the fact you saw something in me means the world.”

“I’ve known you a long time, and I not only see something in you, but I can see it bursting to come out,” she corrects me. “It’s potential, Anna, and you have tons.”

“Potential,” I repeat. “While I like that you think this, I also know deep inside that if I accept the offer you’ve given me, I’d be trying to make myself fit like a square peg in a round hole.”

“I thought you liked the idea?” Sutton sounds surprised, and I don’t blame her.

“I do. I did. But, it’s not me.” There, I said it. “I have to decline, Sutton.”

The phone goes silent in my ear. Sutton is quiet long enough that I start worrying she’s taken a vow of silence and won’t speak to me ever again.

“Wow, Anna,” she says finally. “You know what?”

I brace myself for it. “What?”

“I am so proud of you,” she says. “Proud that you stepped up like you did for your family, and proud that you’re not taking the role with me because you can. I wish you would because I mean it when I say you have potential, but I think you know that if you want or need anything ever from me, or the Renegades, you can and will get it.”

“Box seats?” I tease.

“How about an invite to sit with the owner in her box whenever you want?”

“Done. I’m not a fan of a big crowd anyway.” The knot in my stomach unravels. When I woke up this morning, I knew at some point I wanted to talk to my dad and Sutton, but ticking them both off the to-do list so soon in the day, and so quickly, spurs me on.

“Ben said you’d taken time off from work with them, too.” While Sutton presents this as a question, it isn’t one really.

“I had some vacation days coming to me, so I cashed in.”

“Are you going to stay with them?” she asks. “Look, you and I have been through enough. I won’t say anything if you aren’t, and if you don’t want to tell me, I’ll shut up.”

I think about keeping my other secret, but it’s Sutton. You don’t go through what we have, and have the history we do, then keep your tea from her. You spill it. “I think I’m going to give them my two weeks later today.”

“You are?” She gasps.

“Don’t say anything, you promise?”

“Promise.” She lets out a big ole breath of air. “Oh wow, Anna. Are you sure?”

“No.” And that is true. I’m safe with them, I’ve gotten used to my role. Something I realized the past couple of days is that complacency can be the death of your soul. Even if you adore your employers, sometimes you need to go. “I have one more thing to do today, and if it goes through, then I will be giving them my notice.”

I can almost smell the fire burning in her mind as her wheels start spinning. I love how nosy she is, it’s like she’s a sister from another mister.

“Can you tell me what it is? Is it Ollie?”

I crack up. “I can’t tell you what it is. Just do not say anything to anyone. Yet.”

There’s a noise in the background on Sutton’s end of the line. She asks me to hold and goes away for a brief moment, speaking to someone who must have entered her office. It’s about thirty seconds later before she comes back on the line.

“Ugh, sorry, Anna. I have to go. Meeting with Ben in ten minutes, right here in the Ivory Tower.”

“Wow, things have changed fast in a week,” I say with a snicker. I cannot tell you when the last time was that Ben crossed the threshold of the offices, and now he’s headed there for a meeting. “Don’t forget, keep the secret.”

“You got it,” are her last words to me as she hangs up.

I slide my phone into the pocket of my robe and toddle back into the kitchen to pour myself a cup of coffee and conviction, laced with ambition cause I need it. I meant what I told her: I want to give Ben my notice. Not that he’s awful to work for, they’re amazing, but it’s a me thing.

I get my mug and walk into the living room, settling in on the couch. Across the room, sitting on top of Dad’s old record player I’d pulled from storage, is the album Ollie gave me. He’d purchased a copy of John Coltrane and Johnny Hartman’s record for me. The one with the song on it I liked from the moment I heard it at his place.

I jump up and turn the player on, placing the needle on the groove. In a few moments, the melancholy sounds of “My One and Only Love” fill the air around me. It reminds me of Ollie’s touch. His sweetness and kindness, his heart. Oh, that golden and gooey heart of his…and his laugh.

Don’t even let me get started on the kisses.

But I have another move to make in my own chess game. This one is important, because if this one doesn’t happen, then…

Well, I’m going to need to go back to the drawing board.

I grab my phone and scroll through it, looking for the phone number I need. When I find it, I tap the button for the call to go through, then press the phone to my ear and wait. Fingers crossed, because I do not want this call to go to voicemail.

Here’s hoping.