Page 25

The Human Who Forgot Her Name

She was sure she didn’t forget her name entirely, but she couldn’t recall it when asked. Nothing was clear anymore; not memories, not places, not faces. Everything had been swept away like the tide, sucked into an ocean too vast to explore, and cutting off her oxygen as she sank into darkness. Only on rare occasions did the human regard a name, though she was unsure if she owned it. Sometimes, when she managed to find brief moments of sleep, a voice shouted at her in the night, saying things like, “Lily Baker, don’t eat the food!” and “Lily Baker, if you give in, they’ll break you and you’ll never survive!” But the voice always disappeared when the human was forced to wake up again.

And the day would start over.

But one day, when her feet were raw and her skin prickled from the effects of nearby music, she heard someone say, “She’s broken now. Decorate her for the dress rehearsal tonight. In the morning, prepare her for transport. Our brother shall now learn the cost of his actions.”

Several parts of the statement got caught in the human’s ears as young women moved toward her with thin needles and began sewing flowers to her dress. They also combed her hair, braided it, painted her lips red, and placed an emerald-leafed wreath upon her temples as she tried to grasp onto certain words of the statement. The first was “our brother” because it told her answers to the mystery of who else was in the room. For the first time in days, the human lifted her eyes to look upon the people around her.

White hair abounded. Blue eyes. Lovely wide smiles.

Who were these people watching her being dressed up like a doll?

A memory tugged on her brain, one that felt like a case on the brink of being solved… Who else had white hair like this? Slanted blue eyes? A heart-fluttering wide grin? She knew someone, she was sure of it.

The second part of the statement that stood out to her was “prepare her for transport” because somehow, the human was positive that in a hostage situation, the likelihood of finding the victim decreased significantly if the kidnapper moved them to a new location.

Was that what she was? A victim? A hostage?

She looked around, finding it difficult to concentrate on the high walls with dragon paintings or the finely stitched tapestries or the family portraits or…

The human’s gaze settled on the portrait in the exact middle of the line on the wall. She squeezed her eyes shut to try and clear them so she could see better, but the image of the person remained a blur when she opened them again. Still, the guy in the third portrait looked familiar with his shapely jaw and a certain curl to his smile. He reminded her of someone hiding a secret.

“Shayne.” She whispered his name, not sure how she knew it.

She recalled his voice, too. She heard him say, “If you ever go see my brothers by choice, I won’t go after you. I won’t help you. I’ll leave, and you’ll never see me again.”

Her gaze dragged back to the other young guys in the room, the ones who stood before her now. One of them had long white hair in a bun on top of his head. The other one, the slightly taller one, was the one who’d spoken before. His voice sounded eerily similar to Shayne’s when he’d said, “Our brother shall now learn the cost of his actions.”

Ah. The human nodded as she realized. They were all brothers, weren’t they?

That was why the Shayne guy never came. Why she was here, and why he wasn’t. It wasn’t a lot of evidence, but it dropped an unusual ache into her chest. It made her realize that maybe she’d been waiting for him all this time. Maybe she’d hoped he would come for her anyway.

But no, of course he hadn’t come. He’d been upfront that he wouldn’t.

All these thoughts swirled as the women pinned gold trinkets into her braid and fastened glittering bracelets to her wrists. Someone tossed a pinch of sparkling dust over her that stuck to her skin.

The taller of the two guys stepped forward. He used a flute to push her chin up so he could look her in the eyes. His smile widened, and he said, “Perfect.” Then he tilted his head and added, “You must be famished. Get the human something to eat!” The last part he said to those standing nearby.

A platter of berries appeared before her. She didn’t have to be told what to do next, her hand moved like it was the only thing she knew. She took a small handful, and she pressed them into her mouth.

“Go get your beauty sleep,” the guy commanded with a twinkle in his eye. He dropped her chin, and she obediently turned and headed for a hallway, dragging one foot in front of the other. The women who’d decorated her accompanied her. But as she walked, the sour taste of the berries grew sharp against her tongue, and a short memory of a warning trickled through her head.

“Lily Baker, don’t eat the food!”

She stopped chewing, her mouth frozen around the berries. She had yet to swallow.

That voice had come to her several times in bouts of slumber, saying the same thing, but she hadn’t regarded it as advice. It hadn’t even crossed her mind that she should listen—she’d been sleeping, after all. It was only a dream.

An odd feeling came over the human as she reached her room. She brought her feet together and waited while the women tied a thick vine around her right ankle—one she overheard was there so she couldn’t ‘leap from the balcony’. The women set up her bed, tidied up her nightstand, closed the drapes of her balcony doors, and left.

Dizziness tried to sweep in as the berry juice leaked down the human’s throat. But now that she’d started latching onto her judgements, she realized she had to get her thoughts back, that something incredibly important was on the line, and even though she couldn’t remember quite what it was, she needed her head straight so she could think.

She channelled her willpower until the shuffling sounds of the women disappeared down the hall. Then she raced for the doors to the balcony, stumbling over the teetering floor, and she burst outside into the cold night air. She spat the berries over the rail.

The human inhaled deep breaths, clutching the railing with white knuckles as nausea washed through her stomach. She sank to a sitting position and hugged her middle, the vine pulling at her ankle telling her she couldn’t take one more step or even attempt to climb down the side of this tall house and find a way out. Though, she couldn’t imagine why she would run from these people. They fed her, clothed her, and gave her a bed to sleep upon.

So, what exactly was she trying to run from?

The human fell asleep on the balcony. The night came with the sounds of howling creatures, and when she awoke, shivering, she pulled herself to her feet and headed back inside, sealing the balcony doors closed behind her. She looked out the glass, realizing she could see many trees outside, their pink blossoms swaying in the wind. She realized she could see the room, too.

A shiver rolled up her body, and she rubbed her hands down her arms as she scurried over the floor to the bed. She curled up beneath the heavy duvet to get warm, but she couldn’t sleep, and it wasn’t because of the cold.

It was because she was thinking.

She had no idea how long it had been since her thoughts were clear. Since she remembered her name.

After hours of thinking, thinking, and thinking some more, the human whispered into the darkness, “Shayne, you’ll come for me, right?” She had to believe it. Because if he didn’t, she was sure she wasn’t going to survive.

The sunrise came slowly, creeping over the floor inch by inch. Lily watched it all as it smothered the dim space. It nearly reached the bed when the bedroom doors swung open.

Fairies spilled into the room and took off her covers, lifted her off the bed, and dabbed her with wet cloths. They fixed up her hair so it was exactly how it had been the night before, and they tossed more glitter that stuck to her skin and made her glow in the morning sunlight. Lily observed them, took in their every movement, studied their patterns. But whenever one of them looked at her, she relaxed her face and stared off at nothing like she was in a daze.

As soon as they brought in a platter of food, Lily reached for it, pretending to be hungry. She shoved a handful of berries into her mouth and took a large bite of a crisp fruit on top of that. She chewed as the fairies straightened out her dress, but she shoved the wad of fruit beneath her tongue as they led her toward the door. The juices ran down her throat and she closed her eyes in concentration until the fairies turned her out of the labyrinth of hallways. She faked a few fumbles as they guided her through a lobby and out an enormous front door.

A large fountain took up the courtyard outside. The fairies led her to it and dropped her to sit on the fountain’s ledge. The moment they headed back inside, Lily unearthed the wad of fruit and spat it into the fountain, brushing the juices from her lip in disgust. “Seriously…” she whispered as she watched the fruit get swallowed into the bubbling fountain waters. Her vision went in and out of focus, and she stifled a quiet moan as she teetered.

Even just a bit of the berry juice in her throat had been enough to leave her thinking she might tip right into the water.

A hand reached out and grabbed her shoulder, steadying her. Instead of looking back to see who it was, Lily glanced across the yard at a forest a short distance away, wondering if she’d make it if she tried to sprint.

The hand readjusted and took her arm. Lily was pulled to her feet and turned around. She found herself looking into the blue eyes of someone she knew by now was Jethwire . She tried to look dizzy, but the moment her gaze locked with his, a fire lit in her chest. She imagined throwing him to the ground and putting cuffs on him, and she forgot to drop her eyes.

The fairy’s brows tugged in as he stared. He frowned. Then he said, “What is your name?”

Lily didn’t answer. She forced her gaze from his and focused on something in the distance. She wavered on her feet, too, though she was sure it was too late; sure he’d realized she was no longer suffering from the effects of his magical berries and whatever else he’d been feeding her this whole time.

A series of other fairies appeared, including Lord Hans-Der—Shayne’s father. New fairies were present too, ones Lily hadn’t seen before. They rode atop giant beasts with fangs, and one of them carried a glistening blue banner with a symbol on it.

“Bring the peace offering,” Lord Hans-Der said.

Jethwire pulled Lily over in obedience. His brows were still furrowed though, even as she almost lost her step.

Lily was shoved forward, and a new pair of large hands grasped her arms. A fairy in a strange outfit looked her over. “You’re sure she’s broken?” he asked.

“Yes,” Lord Hans-Der said. But from the corner of her eye, Lily saw Jethwire hesitate. He leaned toward his father and whispered something in his ear. And Lily cracked a weak smile of disbelief as it became clear she would be discovered any moment.

“Let’s check,” the fairy holding onto her said. “What is your name, Human?”

Lily dragged her gaze up to meet the fairy’s. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to laugh or to cry. Yes, she’d finally gotten her thoughts back. No, she wouldn’t get to keep them. But it had been nice while it lasted; she’d been able to remember everyone for a little while: Kate, Greyson, and Grandma Lewis. All her sword-wielding baristas. Violet, whom she’d developed an unexpected, common-ground friendship with. Even untrustworthy Luc—she would have liked to hold onto her memories of him over nothing. She wished she could say goodbye to them before they left her mind again.

“What is your name, Human? Do you recall it?” the fairy asked for the second time, tightening his grip on Lily’s arms until it was painful.

Lily smiled—it was a pitiful smile, but the fairy was taken aback at the sight of it. She looked him dead in the eyes, and said, “My name is Lily Baker. And it’ll take a lot more than that to break me.”

The Lyro family’s faces all changed at once. Some shouted and rushed forward while others passed blame. But Lily turned her head to make eye contact with Jethwire . She cast him a gloating smile; one last act of rebellion for the psycho who’d messed with her and Shayne. She did it knowing he’d speak her name, make her eat, and take away her sense of self again. She did it anyway, because just once, she wanted to be the human who outsmarted and embarrassed him after all the things he’d done.

Jethwire said nothing amidst the chaos; he only eyed her in return. So, Lily told him, “In my world, we call people like you psychopaths , and people like me would lock people like you and your whole family behind bars—”

The fairy who held Lily shoved her back against the side of a fanged beast, and it provided the perfect opportunity for her to kick the fairy in the shin. She hoofed him so hard, she was sure she broke her toes. The fairy shrieked and grabbed his calves, staggering backward, and it would have been satisfying, except that it took every ounce of energy Lily had left, and her own legs collapsed beneath her.

“You said she was broken! That she was a gift! What kind of gift is this?!” the fairy demanded while limping toward Lord Hans-Der.

Lily grunted a laugh as she fell over, rolling flat on her back in the dirt. The fairies continued to make noise and threats, but from her vantage point, she noticed Jethwire hadn’t moved a muscle. He didn’t seem angry as he studied her. In fact, a crooked smile curled up his lips. As the other fairies bickered, he sauntered over, dropped to a knee before Lily, and he tilted her face up with his wretched flute. “Well, Lily Baker. I’ll admit, I wish I could keep you now.” His grin widened. “But when a human is pretty and feisty, it’s quite valuable to people like us. So why should we keep you when we can trade you for a high return?”

He pulled something out of his pocket, and Lily cringed at the sight of the berry.

“Eat this, Lily Baker,” he commanded. “Eat and go with these fairies willingly. I don’t care what you do when you get there, but you won’t dishonour me again during this trade.” He thrust the berry into her mouth.

Lily tried to shove it back out with her tongue, but as soon as she moved, she found herself chewing and swallowing it. Almost instantly, nausea trickled into her stomach, and she shuddered at the familiar, terrible feeling.

Jethwire smiled again. “I hope we meet again someday,” he said. “Even though by then you probably won’t remember me.”

“For your sake,” Lily said as she gritted her teeth, as the world around her began to blur, as her thoughts began to jumble, “you’d better hope I don’t.”

There was no way to tell if the day was long or short, starting or ending, or how much time had passed. Even warm and cold felt the same in the back of the caged wagon where the human found herself staring at the blurred tapestry of the sky. There were many, many turns and roads on her journey, through tall hills and mountains, around great cliffs and glassy green lakes. She couldn’t make it out well enough to paint it or record it in her mind for later, but one thing she knew for sure was that wherever she was, it was very, very far away. Too far away to ever be found.