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Story: Fake Dating a Human 101 (High Court of the Coffee Bean #4)
Shayne Lyro and the Matches of Fairies
Even though Shayne hardly remembered his mother—a flighty female who’d taken off only weeks after giving birth to Massie—Shayne did recall his father speaking of her every now and then. Mostly bitter things, followed by curses and stories of her obnoxious, obsessive ways. But once, and just once that Shayne could remember, Hans-Der Lyro let slip a few words about the female, accompanied by a smile that did not appear cruel. Shayne had been just a childling at the time, five years old and sitting atop a thick book at his seat by the table so he could reach everything. His father had been standing by the window, gazing outside at the withering cherry blossoms shedding their petals to prepare for the short season of frost and ice winds that would cover the North Corner. The Lyro family and their loud friends had been making a ruckus as they passed around the heaping dinner platters, everyone talking even with full mouths. It was back during the time when Shayne had first learned to be quiet. Back when he didn’t know he wanted to be the loudest of all.
Hans-Der, beneath the chatter, had said, “Jada always loved watching the trees lose their petals.”
No one heard him, naturally, and perhaps that was why he dared to say it aloud. No one was even looking at him. No one, except for Shayne.
Though his hands were small, Shayne gripped a large spoon, holding it tight by his bowl of pudding. But instead of tasting the pasty chocolate, he watched his father’s face create one of the only real smiles he’d ever offered in Shayne’s five years of life. And it was at that young age Shayne realized that even though his father hated his mother’s guts with the strength of a thousand blazing fires, he also maybe loved her.
Five years old was much too young to think about things such as love . But Shayne wondered about it anyway. He wondered for quite a while whether it would be worth it to ever love someone. Love was not a strong enough magic to keep his mother from leaving his father. It wasn’t even strong enough to keep Hans-Der from being cruel to his offspring.
If love left people behind, perhaps Shayne didn’t want it. Perhaps it just wasn’t for him.
But as his years grew in number, Shayne found that what he did like was flirting . Not only because he was good at it, but because he could make others happy while also making himself happy, even if it was for just a short while. Offering a wink wasn’t making a commitment. Blowing a kiss never forced him to swear himself to anyone. Even random acts of romantic chivalry could be used as a fun way to pass the time. But not once did he let himself fall in love with even the prettiest, most persuasive of fairies.
Not when love left people behind.
It was why Shayne had decided long ago he would never marry a fairy. Why he was so sure he wasn’t ‘marriage material’ until he got to the human realm one year ago, and he wondered for the first time since he was a childling if perhaps love didn’t have to end with one person leaving the other forever. If maybe love wasn’t such a complicated, cruel thing. If maybe the reason he didn’t want love was because he simply didn’t want love with a fairy .
But of course, that was before. He was back in the Ever Corners now. And thus, he was grateful he hadn’t fallen in love with anyone in his lifetime. What a disaster that would have been, since, as was the way of love, he would have been forced to leave her forever if he had.
Massie was wrong. Shayne couldn’t possibly have been so foolish.
Shayne did not have a lover, and therefore would feel nothing about entering into a marriage with Meave.
The following two mornings in the House of Riothin arrived with the screeching of a woodwind instrument somewhere in the House and the fresh fragrance of someone’s rotting, sweaty feet. And they absolutely weren’t Shayne’s. It got worse every hour now that he knew about Meave’s secret plans. Now that he had two secrets to keep instead of one, and he was left with a splitting headache over it.
Cosmo hadn’t hatched another trick yet, so Shayne figured it was his turn. He awoke to a dark dawn, wondering if the entire household was waiting to see what he’d do after his humiliating display several days ago. He meant to plan his retaliation, but as he sauntered out of his guestroom and made his way toward the conservatory to plan his heist, he heard a strange thing at the end of the hall.
“…Cosmo Flora’s spy in the Lyro House…”
It was just a whisper, uttered by one lesser fairy to another. The young pair carried baskets around the bend as Shayne rubbed his tired eyes, but his hands went still when their words settled in.
At first, he thought it might be another trick. Why would two servants be foolish enough to whisper about the House of Lyro in front of a Lyro? It was almost funny, and Shayne might have laughed if a teensy little voice inside his head hadn’t begged the question: What if it wasn’t a trick?
What if the servants really hadn’t realized Shayne was there? What if they thought no one was listening? No one in the Riothin House awoke before the sunrise, which was the ideal time for servants to share gossip and go about their duties in a relaxed state.
Shayne dropped his hand to his side and scurried down the hall with silent footsteps. He peeked around the bend and caught the fairies venturing down a narrow staircase in single file. He looked behind him to see if he was being followed. If this was orchestrated by Cosmo, the fairy would show up to watch.
The hall remained still and quiet apart from soft snores lifting from the nearest bedrooms. So, Shayne slipped down the hallway in the direction he’d seen the servants go. He tiptoed down the staircase and found himself in an unlit hall outside a rustic-looking kitchen. Three young fairy females were congregated in the tight space, speaking in hushed tones.
“Actually, Lord Cosmo sent word to his spy the moment the Lyro showed up. Apparently, the charming white-haired fairy is the rightful heir to the highest chair in the House of Lyro! It seems he didn’t inform High Lord Riothin of that,” one of the fairies whispered.
Shayne grunted. He would have admitted the responsibility he’d abandoned eventually. The bigger concern was that it was unclear how much Cosmo’s spy might know about the Lyro family’s discoveries regarding Shayne.
Shayne decided to walk into the kitchen. “Good morning!” he said, and three females jumped in surprise—one screamed.
Shayne grinned in his infectious way. “Don’t worry, I’m not here to hurt you,” he promised. “Unlike Cosmo Flora, I’m a nice fairy.” He thought about that, then added, “With unmatchable killing technique and years of training that makes me nearly unstoppable.” He wanted to be clear that he could kill every single one of them in the next three seconds if he wanted to. Not that he would, of course. He just wanted them to know.
Shayne took a step toward the servant who’d been dishing out the juicy gossip. “That’s a lovely dress, pretty Fairy.” He winced at himself as soon as he said it. Flirting wasn’t going to get him anywhere with young servants, and her dress was practically made of boring old burlap and string.
Sure enough, the female glanced down at her outfit with an odd face.
Shayne cleared his throat. “Anyway, I must inquire what you were talking about. Tell me about Lord Cosmo’s spy in the House of Lyro. I’ll pay you.”
The female’s face paled. She, along with the other two, dropped to their knees and clasped their hands. “Please,” the female begged. “Lord Cosmo will kill me if I tell you.”
“I’ll protect you from him,” Shayne promised. “I need to know more about the spy.”
The females all exchanged looks, and Shayne sighed.
“What do you want if not coin and protection?” he asked. “I can’t marry any of you or anything. You’re all too young for me, and I’ve already basically promised myself to Lady Meave.” Then he mumbled, “And I’m out of time to avoid that promise.”
The same female climbed to her feet. “I have something I want,” she said. “I want you to deliver a letter to my mother.” All at once, the other two females jumped to their feet as well.
“Me too! To my father!”
“Yes, a letter to my family!”
Shayne looked back and forth between them, his chest feeling a little squeezy all of a sudden. He rubbed it. “Frankly, I would if I could. But I don’t think I’m leaving this House any time soon,” he admitted. “Is there anything else I can trade for the information?”
The servants’ shoulders dropped. It stirred so much disappointment into the air that Shayne moaned. “Oh, fine.” He waved a hand around. “Why not? I’ll deliver your letters if I can. Just tell me about the spy .”
The gossipy female smiled for the first time. “The spy is a cook—an old friend of Lord Cosmo’s that grew up here. Lord Cosmo writes back and forth with him. It’s how the House of Riothin has been able to stay ahead of Lord Hans-Der all this time.”
Shayne couldn’t believe his ears. No wonder his father had never tried to attack the House of Riothin. He must have known that somehow Riothin would see it coming.
“Amazing.” Shayne laughed to himself. “Tell me, what does this spy know about me, in particular?” he asked.
The fairy’s face fell. “I’m not sure,” she admitted. “The last letter didn’t say anything else about you. I read it in secret when I fetched it from the delivery fairy at the front gate.”
Shayne nodded. So neither Cosmo nor Lord Riothin knew anything about the human realm.
“This information has been very useful,” he said. “Thank you.” His mind worked as he turned for the dark hall, but he paused at the kitchen door. “Write your letters to your families and slide them beneath the pillow in my guestroom. I’ll make sure they get delivered,” he told the servants.
The fairies nodded, their smiles a tad bit infectious. One of them said, “You’re so kind, Shayne Lyro! I wish you were the High Lord of the Riothin House!”
The words were like an icy wind wrapping around Shayne’s throat. He swallowed. These fairies wouldn’t say such things if they had his best interests in mind. Little did they know, Meave may soon try to make him that. And after all his efforts to avoid the highest chair at Lyro, he could find himself strapped to a chair at Riothin instead.
What a mess.
Shayne flashed them one last smile. It faded as soon as he turned and headed back through the dark hall and up the narrow staircase.
Cosmo was lounging on a fluffy sofa in a sunny room when Shayne found him. Birds with horns gathered on the windowsills, tweeting and eyeing the black-haired fairy inside. At first, Shayne thought Cosmo was napping. Ripe for another face-drawing. But as soon as Shayne drew near, the fairy opened his eyes.
“Ah. There you are.” Though he said it, he sounded entirely uninterested. “I was wondering when you’d show up to retaliate. I’m ready,” he promised.
Shayne plopped down in the nearest chair and filled the armrests with his muscular arms.
Not that he was comparing, but his arms were far more impressive than Cosmo’s. He wondered if Cosmo had noticed. Shayne leaned, splaying his forearms and putting them in a direct beam of sunlight so they were easier to catch the eye—
“The servants are all whispering about you, you know,” Cosmo said.
Shayne slowed his movements. After a few seconds, he drew his arms back and folded them tightly across his chest. “How odd.”
“Not really. Though, some of the things they’re saying are outright treacherous.” Cosmo lifted to a sitting position and swung himself around to face Shayne. “I wonder if the gossip has reached the High Lord yet?”
Shayne became acutely aware of the dagger hiding in his boot. The birds outside seemed to refocus their attention and take him in. Even the early sun slid behind a cloud and cloaked the room in dimness, likely making his white hair stand out against the shadows.
“I came here to implore you to make our game fair,” Shayne said in an effort to change the subject. “Isn’t it cowardly to ask your spy about me when I have no spies to ask about you?”
Cosmo stared for a moment, his green eyes not moving a fraction. Then he smiled and huffed in disbelief. “Did you torture someone?” he guessed, tapping a finger against his chin. “A delivery fairy, maybe?”
“I came by the information on my own. Now all that matters is that I know you have an unfair advantage, and unless you want me to announce it to the whole House, I think we should make a new bargain.” Shayne uncrossed his arms and presented them pristinely on the armrests again.
“All the nobles of the House already know about my spy. You were the only one out of the loop,” Cosmo stated.
“Still. Humour me.”
Cosmo’s gaze flickered down to Shayne’s arms, and Shayne’s mouth tugged into a grin.
“What do you want exactly, Lyro?” Cosmo asked.
“Write a message to your spy-friend. Tell him to start a rumour in the Lyro House that I’m here. That I’m allied with the High Lord of Riothin. And that any actions they may wish to take against me will only stir up this House and threaten war.”
Cosmo cast Shayne a doubtful look. “That’s not true at all. I don’t expect the High Lord to defend you if your family crosses you.”
“Doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. Tell your spy to start the rumour immediately.” Shayne cringed as he waited for Cosmo’s answer. Some of the birds began to growl outside and try to beat their way in through the glass. One flashed its teeth.
Cosmo leaned back against the sofa, his lip curling into a snarl. “I suppose it would only benefit me,” he thought aloud. “If you’re telling the truth about why you’ve come, it would be nice to brag to your family that you’re with us now. If you’re lying about your reasons for being here, if you really are a spy for your House, then your father won’t react with surprise to the news when he’s informed of your whereabouts, and that would be grounds to have you executed here.” Cosmo chewed on his lip. “But why would I help you? I don’t care whose side you’ve flipped onto, you’re a Lyro by blood, and I hate that you’re still breathing.”
Shayne brought his hands together and clasped them tightly. He ignored the menacing cries of the birds at the window, and he leaned forward to look Cosmo in the eyes so the fairy would know he wasn’t lying. “If you do this, I will surrender this game to you. You will be the winner of the household, and I will be the next Yule fool to entertain the Riothin House. Just imagine how satisfying it will be for you to drag a Lyro around for your own entertainment.”
Perhaps he could spare a human one evening of torment, too. It was worth it on both counts.
Cosmo didn’t blink for some time. The questioning look in his eyes morphed into something else—hunger, maybe. Want. Need . Everything Shayne needed him to feel, even though the look made Shayne’s skin crawl.
Shayne smiled and extended his hand. “I’ll even make a bargain so I can’t get out of it. If you stop hunting humans, I’ll be their replacement here.” He expected to have to use the other arguments he’d come up with, to spend the whole morning trying to convince Cosmo of this deal, but to his surprise, Cosmo’s hand slapped against his, and Shayne found his fingers gripped tightly.
“There’s no getting out of this one, Lyro,” Cosmo warned. That strange look in his eyes darkened, and Shayne stifled a shiver, refusing to think about how far Cosmo might go. “You’re mine when the eve of the Great Yule Morning comes.”
Shayne shook Cosmo’s hand, and the deal was sealed. “How long before your letter reaches your spy?” he asked.
Cosmo’s eyes glittered as he replied, “Just half a day. I should have a response by tomorrow.”
Tomorrow.
Shayne held his breath so he wouldn’t let out his sigh of relief. Half a day, and the House of Lyro would know not to mess with Shayne anymore. They’d know better than to send someone against Fae Café, and Shayne could live the rest of his days here under Cosmo’s cruelty until he married Meave and made Cosmo regret every decision he’d ever made.
It was difficult to avoid Meave, but Shayne managed.
Of course he was going to wed her. Of course he would tell her as much. Of course all was well.
But he perhaps wasn’t quite ready to celebrate it yet. To sit through the engagement parties, be showered with presents, and have news of the betrothal travel to the surrounding Houses.
To have Meave lead an uprising with Shayne at her side and possibly ruin everything.
Shayne spent most of the day pacing. He wandered the gardens outside, stuck his feet in the stream around the manor, and avoided attending every meal of the day. At dusk, he ventured down to the kitchens to find himself something to eat, but he was surprised to find them empty. So, he gathered himself some figs and leftover rice, and he spent the afternoon in the drawing room painting for no reason. He wasn’t even good at it. He tried to do a portrait and discovered his art skills were akin to that of a childling without hands.
Perhaps he would save the portrait and give it to his new wife once he was wedded. It was a lovely reflection of how he truly felt about her. The likeness was uncanny.
At midnight, he rolled up his horrendous artwork and tucked it beneath his arm, then headed down the hall to go store it in his guestroom. He shuddered thinking about having to share a room with Meave in the future, and he glanced down at his blue Riothin coat. Only today had he been presented with such a garment by the beautifiers claiming it was a gift from Lady Meave and that he belonged in this colour now. Never in his faeborn life had he dreamt he would wear the colours of a Riothin. What a strange turn of events he’d created for himself.
The lights flickered as Shayne reached the end of the hall and entered his room, sliding the portrait from his arm and setting it on his dresser.
He almost screamed when he turned around and saw someone standing there. The dagger was out of his boot and pressing into a fairy’s throat in a heartbeat.
A young, female servant looked up at him with wide eyes. “Please don’t hurt me!” she begged.
Shayne tore the blade back, almost stumbling out of the room when his back hit the doorframe. But he yanked the door closed behind him, and he blinked at the servant.
“Are you out of your mind?” he asked when he realized he knew her from the kitchen. “I told you to drop your letters beneath my pillow, not wait for me in person!”
She fell to her knees as if intending to beg for forgiveness, but Shayne strutted over, grasped her arm, and pulled her back up to her feet again. “Don’t do that,” he instructed. “Look me in the eyes and tell me why you’re here.”
The female shook a little. “I just wanted to tell you that I intercepted and read another letter from the spy.”
Shayne’s face changed. “When?”
“Just an hour ago. It arrived at the gate by messenger, and I went to fetch it,” she admitted.
Shayne took hold of her shoulders. “Tell me everything. What did it say? Does my House know I’m here? Has the rumour been spread?”
She pulled her eyes up slowly. “It said nothing of that.”
A squeak sounded in the room from the wind against the window outside as that settled in.
Shayne dragged a hand down his face in disbelief. Cosmo had fooled him again. Of course that fairy couldn’t be trusted to keep his word. “What did it say then?” he asked.
The female didn’t answer, and when Shayne glanced back at her, he realized she was pale and staring behind him in horror. “My Lord!” she shrieked.
This time, when she dropped to her knees, Shayne let her. His hand hung in the air where he’d been clutching her shoulder. He let it fall back to his side slowly. The wind continued to pound against the windows from outside, blending with the servant’s desperate and terrified inhales, but apart from that, there was silence in Shayne’s guestroom.
Shayne turned around.
Cosmo’s hands rested in his coat pockets, his sleepy eyes settled on Shayne.
“You could have just asked me,” Cosmo said. “No need to involve the slaves.”
Shayne closed his eyes as his own words replayed through his head. “Then I’ll protect you from him.”
It had barely been a day, and he’d already failed to guard this servant from Cosmo. She didn’t actually belong to Shayne. At present, Cosmo had more of a right to punish her, to do whatever he wanted with her, than Shayne did.
Cosmo reached into his coat and dragged out a letter. He unfolded it with care, and he scanned it for a moment before he said anything. “I’m not sure I want to tell you what it says,” he admitted, “since you have your own ways of getting information.” His gaze flickered over to the servant on the floor, and Shayne swallowed.
“This childling told me nothing. I found out another way,” Shayne lied.
“She’s hardly a childling. And I don’t believe you,” Cosmo returned. “But that’s no matter. I don’t deal with servants. That’s the High Lord’s job. I need only to report her to him, and she’ll be dealt with by the merciless hand of the High Lord of Riothin.”
The servant whimpered and slapped both hands over her mouth, making the muscles tighten in Shayne’s chest. His instincts shouted at him to stand in between Cosmo and the servant on the floor as a barrier, but he knew it would do no good. She was doomed, and it was his fault.
“And as for your family, Lyro…” Cosmo carefully brushed a lock of black hair out of his eyes. “To my surprise, they say they’re both amused and comfortable with you abandoning your House. Naturally I thought that was rather strange, since my spy never lies.” He folded the letter to seal it up again, then slid it back into his coat. “Perhaps it’s because they’re confident they can still get to you, even if you’re here.”
“ Get to me?” Shayne faked a chuckle, but he stole a look at the female on the floor as she trembled. He wondered how long it would be before Cosmo would leave. He wondered if he could rush the servant to the window and sneak her out through the garden. If it was even worth an attempt—
“Yes. Now that they have their dreamslipper back,” Cosmo said.
The room froze in time.
Every thought Shayne had vanished, leaving only bits and pieces of confusing questions and nonsensical realities. He pulled his gaze back to Cosmo, but he didn’t really see the fairy there; his green eyes, his black hair, his blue coat… It was all a blur as Shayne replayed that statement over in his mind.
No, Cosmo couldn’t have just said… dreamslipper .
And he couldn’t have been talking about Mycra Sentorious.
It didn’t make sense because Mycra was in the human realm. Shayne had left the pretty fairy in the care of his real brothers. She was with Dranian. She was safe.
Everyone with her was safe, too.
It had to be a different dreamslipper.
Cosmo folded his arms and squinted at Shayne curiously. “You seem to know what I’m talking about, Lyro. It appears you’re keeping secrets about your House. Why didn’t you tell us your family has a dreamslipper at their disposal? Only an enemy would keep such valuable information from us.”
Shayne still stared at the blurs of colour, at the air, at the fuzzy image of the dark-haired fairy standing before him he didn’t really see.
No. Dreamslippers were so rare, his family wouldn’t have been able to come by another one.
Why, in the name of the sky deities, wasn’t Mycra Sentorious in the human realm?
Cosmo huffed in annoyance. “I could always torture the secrets out of you, Lyro. I think you and I are both aware at this point you’re not really here for an alliance. Nor do you want Meave.” He grunted in disgust. “You even acted like you cared for humans, but you hid that your own family has one. Who are you, really? You must be what I’ve suspected all along—a spy.”
Cryptic words rang in Shayne’s ears. Words that must have meant something else, because the facts couldn’t possibly be true, and therefore, they didn’t find a place in Shayne’s sound mind to land. But even though it wasn’t real, couldn’t be real, Shayne’s stomach dropped like a slow ball of flames lowering into his abdomen, crippling his nerves, hitching his breath. His blurry vision sharpened, and suddenly Cosmo became the clearest thing in the realm.
“You’re lying,” Shayne heard himself say. He shouldn’t have said anything more to Cosmo, he shouldn’t have revealed his tones, let his rhythms change. His hands should not have balled into fists, his flesh grown tight, his faeborn heart taken on a new, wild beat.
But it had to be true. Cosmo wouldn’t have known about a dreamslipper or a human otherwise.
There’d been only one dreamslipper in Shayne’s company before he left for the House of Riothin. There was only one human, too. And his blood brothers had been after her.
His blood brothers. Her .
For the next sixty seconds, Shayne only saw red.
At some point in those moments, he attacked Cosmo. He retrieved the letter.
He left Cosmo a mess of broken limbs on the floor.
He left.