Page 38 of Faded Gray Lines

I sat in the car waiting over half an hour for the guy Emilio said would meet me. I couldn’t risk calling Star in the middle of what I was doing. I never contacted her during cartel business. Because of it, when we snuck away to meet, I was the one always rushing to find her sitting on the grassy hill, twirling a wildflower between her fingers. Sometimes I was five minutes late, sometimes a whole hour.

But she’d always waited.

I checked the radio clock again.

Eleven fifty-nine.

“Fuck this.” I’d just reached for the gear shift when a tan Impala finally pulled up beside me. Irritated, I rolled down my window as a man in a crisp black suit and overly gelled hair approached my window.

“You Mateo?” he asked, peering inside my car.

“Who’s asking?”

“I’m here to pick up,” he mumbled reaching into his pants pocket. “Can we hurry this up? I have a meeting.”

“Hey, fuck you, man. You’re the one who was late.” I jerked the gallon bag out of the console, ready to make the exchange and hit the road.

That was when it registered.

Buyers didn’t know our real names.

By the time I dropped the bag and reached for my gun, he’d already pulled his and two more appeared behind him. “Freeze, police! Drop your weapon and put your hands behind your head.”

I didn’t fight. Part of me arrogantly thought I’d be booked, and a few days later I’d make it out on bail to explain myself to Star. Even as they dragged me out and my cheek scraped against the asphalt, I still knew she’d wait for me.

She’d always waited.

As the judge handed down the sentence of one-year felony possession with intent to sell, I still believed. I did my time like a man, and kept my mouth shut. Even though she never came to visit, I imagined her sitting on our hill, twirling wildflowers in her hand and keeping her promise.

She’d always wait for me.

Fourteen

Leighton

Present Day

Emotions swirled in my head at breakneck speed. Mateo glared at me, the little vein in his temple pulsing with each second of my silence. A tremor ran through me as I closed my eyes, blocking out his accusing stare. It didn’t matter, though. I could stare at the inside of my own eyelids as much as I wanted—it wouldn’t stop the sound of his voice from echoing in my head.

She’d always wait for me.

But I didn’t. We’d abandoned one another, choosing to believe the other had committed the ultimate betrayal because it was easier than accepting a darker truth. If we never spoke the words out loud, we wouldn’t have to face that deep down, we both knew the other hid behind secrets, scars, and lies.

When their backs were against the wall, lovers made the best actors, reciting rehearsed lines and playing their emotions in a well-orchestrated symphony like the maestro they’d trained to become.

It was all smoke and mirrors. Just like us.

“Say something, Star.”

Every time he called me that name, I died a little inside.

“I had no idea. I thought...”

He curved his palm around my jaw, the pressure balancing the delicate line between touch and force. “You thought I’d just walk away? That after everything we said, I’d break my promise?” His grip tightened, his thumb digging into my chin and pulling me forward. “Or is that just a luxury reserved for little rich girls?”

“I’m sorry for what you went through. I’m sorry I didn’t know you were arrested and sent to prison, but how is that my fault?” I meant to stay calm, but he pushed my trigger button dead center.

He’d grown a dark exterior that made me shiver. I recognized the feeling from fighting with Luis. Mateo wanted my anger. He wanted me to react and force vile words out of me, so he could justify turning me over to Valentin Carrera and clear whatever conscience he had left.