Page 26 of Faded Gray Lines

“Just Star, huh?” Sarcasm oozed from the other end of the line. “No last name? No house? You spread her legs, but never talked about anything?”

His accusation flipped a switch in me. “Watch it, Val. You’re my boss and my friend, but don’t ever talk about her like that again. I’d never allow someone to disrespect Eden, and I’d expect the same from you.”

“Noted. Continue.”

An apology from Valentin Carrera was rare, and that was as deep as they got, so I spilled the closely guarded secret that could cost me my rank.

“She was young. We both were, but she was just out of high school. She never wanted to be home and that’s why she’d never asked me to come around. It didn’t matter anyway because I wasn’t the parent-meeting type. We spent every night together.” I stopped and rubbed the back of my neck as memories I’d locked away came rushing back. “One night we met, and she was frantic. She begged me to run away with her. I know it was wrong, but I told her yes. I would’ve done anything to be with her.”

Silence stretched between us again, and I could almost hear Val calculate the dates in his head. “You were already asicarioin my cartel four years ago,” he said, giving voice to the deadliest secret I’d kept from him.

“I know.”

“Yet you said yes. You were a twenty-two-year old man who chose to risk both your lives, for what? Some foolish crush that would’ve gotten you both killed?”

“Don’t patronize me, Val,” I snarled in between clenched teeth. “It was as real as what you and Eden have, but it never came to that. I got arrested and locked up for a year.”

“What about now?” he said, his voice slightly calmer. “Where does your loyalty lie? If a gun was pressed against Leighton’s head and Brody’s head, who do you save, Mateo?”

I’d asked myself this question a dozen times while sitting in that shitty pub. By the time I’d drained half a bottle of tequila, the answer was much clearer than my vision.

Loyalty begot loyalty. She’d given me none, so she was owed the same.

“Brody,” I answered. “The cartel comes first.”

“I’m not sure I believe you.”

“You doubt my loyalty?”

“No, but I think you do.” He let out a heavy sigh. “Mateo, you hesitated in answering. Sometimes what you don’t say tells me more than what you do.”

I contemplated arguing, but I knew it would get me nowhere.

“I take it Leighton has no idea who you really are?”

I had to think fast. Either I went all in or stepped off the ledge with a sin of omission.

I braced myself. “She does now.”

Val exploded. “Pinche estupido!” Fucking idiot. “What did you do?”

“Nothing unfixable. She’s not as innocent as everyone think she is.” The words burned like acid on my tongue. “She knew about Brody’s involvement with us, Val. I don’t know what kind of shit she’s been feeding him, but she knows. So, yeah, I fucked with her a little and threw my weight around. She pushed my buttons, all right?”

“You’ve got to take emotion out of this. Do you hear me?” he warned. “Mark my words, Mateo. This woman will end you if you continue thinking with your heart instead of your head.”

The crisp air suddenly became sticky and humid. “That won’t be a problem. I’ve learned my lesson, and I’m already on some leads.” It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him about the inconsistency I’d found in her actions, but something held me back.

Stupidity? Yeah, most likely.

“You have one week to clean this up.” The finality in his voice swirled the tequila and beer together in my stomach. “Don’t make me cross the border myself to handle it.”

“Sí, puedo hacerlo.” Yes, I can do it.

It was the last thing I said before he hung up. His words echoed in my head, sending me into a downward spiral that opened scar tissue long healed. Or maybe it’d never healed. Maybe I’d just put so many bandages over it, they’d finally fused with my skin.

It didn’t matter. Nothing could’ve protected me the moment I first saw her dressed like the sun about to be devoured by the night.

Nine