Page 97 of Everything Is Probably Fine

“Can you keep it down?” the man asks over his shoulder.

Her rage bubbles like a cauldron.

She goes to Kristen’s room and stands at the threshold, feeling seasick. The floor is completely covered in clothes and shoes and empty fast-food bags and dishes. Something smells like soured milk. She can’t find the pain pills here either. She picks her way to Kristen’s unmade bed and lifts a sheet to look. All she finds is a pair of panties and a used condom.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Lorna drops the sheet and turns to the door. Kristen is standing there holding a plastic CVS shopping bag. She is too thin,her hair as greasy and stringy as that of the guy she’s with. The T-shirt she’s wearing is too big on her skeletal frame, and her collarbones are protruding.

“Looking for Mom’s pain pills that have gone missing. She’s hurting and I can’t find them in the mess of this apartment.”

Kristen holds up the bag. “They’re in here. Stop searching my room. What are you, a cop?” She tosses the bag onto the bed. Lorna picks it up. There are some cigarettes, an orange pill bottle, and some Takis and gummy worms, like Kristen is twelve. Lorna takes the bottle out and notices that it contains only fifteen pills. “Why so few?”

“Because Mom lost the other ones. They wouldn’t fill it up.”

Lorna stares hard at her sister, who won’t make eye contact. “Momlost the other ones?”

“That’s what I said. What’s your problem?” Kristen snaps.

“Did you take Mom’s meds that she is prescribed for cancer?”

Kristen colors slightly, but a hardness fills her eyes. “Could you for once not come in here accusing me of everything?”

“Could you for once not steal from Mom? You’re unbelievable! She is in pain, Kristen.”

Kristen jumps over the mess to her closet and takes out a duffel bag. She starts stuffing clothes into it. Off the chair, off the floor.

“What are you doing?” Lorna demands.

“Beau and I are leaving. I am so sick of you.”

“Leaving? What about Mom?”

Kristen twists around to face Lorna, her face an ugly grimace. “What do you want from me? You accuse me of doing a bad job when I’m here, and when I’m not, I’m not taking care of Mom. I can’t win with you!”

“You can’t leave, Kristen. Mom needs help. She needs someone here.”

“Peggy is here. She’ll do it.”

“It’s not Peggy’s responsibility!” Lorna shouts.

“Who made you the queen of us? Huh? It’s not my responsibility either. If you don’t like it, hire someone. You make good money.”

Lorna gapes at her sister. “Are you kidding me? You can’t hold a job, you’re high most of the time, and yet you get free room and board. All you have to do is look after our mother and not steal from her. Is that so hard?”

“Yes!” Kristen shrieks. And just as suddenly, she sighs wearily. She reaches in her back pocket for a pack of cigarettes.

“Don’t you dare smoke in here,” Lorna snaps.

“Lorna, stop,” Kristen says wearily.

Lorna can’t stop. She is seething. “Stop what? Stop trying to get you to be responsible for one damn thing? Stop trying to get you to put down the crack pipe?”

“I don’t smoke crack.”

“Today,” Lorna snaps.

“Yes,” Kristen says. “Stop it. All of that. When are you going to get it through your head that you are not going to change me? This is who I am, Lorna. Why can’t you accept that?”