Page 80 of Every Time I Go on Vacation, Someone Dies

“Isn’t that what you girls did with Connor?” Guy says, finishing his drink.

Emily and I stare at each other, and though we’re both angry, we can’t help it—we start to laugh. Me first, then her. In a minute we’re hunched over the table, holding on to ourselves to keep from falling on the ground.

“Did he call you ‘darling’?” Emily asks, gasping for air.

“Yes! And that thing where he forgets his wallet all the time?”

“All the time. Oh, and the nuts? Why is he always eating nuts?”

“For the protein!”

“Oh my God, yes.”

The waitress comes back with a tray full of drinks. Shek looks at his watch. “That was fourteen minutes.”

“Mi scuse, senore.”

“Should we warn Isabella?” I say, getting some control of myself.

“You think she’d listen?”

“I wouldn’t have.”

“I did try to warn you,” Guy says. “More than once.”99

“You did. Thank you, Guy.”

“I’m warning you again.”

My laughter cuts off, and I feel that chill down my spine. “You think he’s dangerous?”100

“Look at what he did this morning.”

“He was being an idiot.”

“Aren’t you the one who almost died yesterday?”

My hand goes up to my neck. It feels like the bone is still in place. “So I let him blackmail me for life?”

“Blackmail?” Emily says.

“Oh, um, I’m speaking metaphorically.”

“Okay,” she says, but not like she believes me.

“He made some trouble for me with the publisher about his name being used in When in Rome.”

“But that’s fair use.”

“They didn’t want to take the risk.”

“You paid him off? That was stupid.”

“I’m aware.”

“You’d have done the same thing,” Shek says. “We all would. If we saw our dream slipping away, there’s no telling what we’d do.”

“What are you going to do, Shek?” I ask.