Page 161 of Every Time I Go on Vacation, Someone Dies

It’s time to get cracking because we’re heading into the final reveal here.

So, what do you think?

Was it Harper? Sick of Connor and me, and looking for a life of leisure in our Venice Beach house, and enjoying the fruits of my labor?

Was it Allison? For pretty much the same reasons?

What about Oliver? He’s hated both of us at some point, Connor especially, but does that amount to murder?

Guy? I bet you have no problem seeing him doing something evil. And you don’t know that much about him. There are all kinds of things that I haven’t told you about him. That’s suspicious.

Emily? She had an affair with Connor, and she stole the plot of at least two of my books, so she’s sus for sure. But why would she need either of us out of the way? She doesn’t need to kill me to steal my book plots. Did Connor break her heart? She did say something way back at the beginning about not letting what had happened to Shek happen to her. Her career isn’t going to just slip away, she’d said with a determination that was a bit scary, now that I look back on it.

Do people kill for book sales?

Maybe on TikTok.

Isabella? I can’t even think of a motive for her, so that’s probably her out.

One of the BookFace Ladies?

Crazy Cathy?

They weren’t around at key moments, but it can’t be a coincidence that my stalker is on this tour, right?

And what about that girl in publicity, Marta? She put this tour together and now we can’t reach her. Is that suspicious or just… publishing?

Then there’s Inspector Tucci. He’s a late entry onto the list. Normally you have to meet all the suspects in the first act, or it’s not considered fair to the reader. And I might be a liar, but I do believe in being fair. But he was mentioned in the first ten chapters, so I’m technically in the clear. What’s his motive, though? He probably hates me and Connor for showing him up all those years ago, but enough to put all of this together? Was he in on the Giuseppe murder/robberies somehow? In on it with Connor and then double-crossed? It’s never occurred to me before, but anything is possible. Because something is going on with that dude.

Either he’s totally incompetent or he’s in on it somehow.

Maybe they all are.195

I wish I didn’t have to include Harper or Oliver in this list, though. It breaks my heart to think either of them might be involved. And by “either of them,” I mean Oliver. I know Harper didn’t do it, but I can’t quite get there with Oliver. And the thought that he might’ve been playing me this whole time in order to distract me long enough to kill me is tearing my heart in two. Even thinking he might’ve done it feels like a betrayal.

So I’m trying to push the thought of Oliver aside, but I’m not saying you need to do that.

He’s a viable suspect.

They all are.

That’s the point, right? Too many suspects. Too many motives.

Just don’t judge, okay?

Maybe this many people want to kill you, too.

Honestly? If he weren’t dead, I’d think Shek was behind it. Shek was the kind of guy who thought in extremes. And you can’t get much more extreme than murder. He was also on the brink of losing everything—his livelihood, his pride—and desperate people do desperate things. He thought that was my fault, and part of it definitely was Connor’s fault. It all lines up so nicely. Him being in Los Angeles, near the Vatican, all of it.

But Shek is dead,196 and maybe even the target of all of this. We should examine that possibility more closely. I mean, you should.

And then there’s me. I should be on your suspect list, too. After all, I’ve told you I’m a liar—that makes me an unreliable narrator. Maybe this is my version of The Murder of Roger Ackroyd.197

Did you know that Agatha Christie was super annoyed that people thought that book wasn’t fair? She complains about it in her autobiography. All the letters she got, the criticism. If Agatha were alive today, she’d be duking it out with one-star reviewers on Goodreads, I just know it.

Anyway, you should consider everyone, is all I’m saying.

Because maybe I’ve been looking in the wrong place all along.