Page 8 of Evermore (The Never Sky #3)

Paesha

“ H untress,” the goddess standing at the door said, her salt and pepper hair pulled back in a loose bun as she dipped a chin to me. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Our little Quill has told me nothing but good things.”

I tried to hide the snarl as I answered. “Has our Quill been so kind? That’s nice to hear.”

She remained on the doorstep, no pressure to come inside nor push her way in as she clasped her hands before her.

She wore a simple ivory apron over a plain floor-length brown dress, holding no air of superiority.

In fact, had I not known, I would have assumed she was someone’s grandmother, come to bake cookies or knit or something equally boring.

She smiled, looking down at Quill, who bounced on her toes, giving no indication that five seconds ago she’d been content shoving her magic down our throats to prove a point.

And as much as I wanted to fault her for it, how could I?

She wasn’t mean as a little girl. Her heart was so big and so gentle.

Clearly, whatever was happening to her was beyond her comprehension or control.

Maybe it was this woman’s influence corrupting her.

“I’m Aeris,” the goddess said, holding a hand out. “Goddess of Renewal. I’ve come to collect Quill for the day. I promised she could come along for my next project. I’m feeling quite inspired to take a look at the old castle ruins. You’re welcome to come if you’d like.”

That or leave Quill in the hands of a goddess?

There was no choice here, not really. Archer and Thea came to join us at the door and the look of relief on Thea’s face as she drank Aeris in was so discomforting, I had to look away.

A goddess could not be the answer to Quill’s tantrums. She’d end up in debt to them like she would have the Maestro.

She was free. Right now. And I intended for it to stay that way no matter which god I had to piss off.

Archer’s cool blue eyes met mine, and I knew our thoughts were aligned.

Ultimately, his sister had died on a god’s order and while I didn’t have all the details of that night sorted, I knew for sure Thorne or Reverius or whatever he decided to go by today, had known more than he’d shared and ultimately could have stopped Harlow’s death but didn’t. That was a choice. So fuck him.

I narrowed my eyes, staring into the old woman’s. Besides the fact that she was a goddess, something about her didn’t sit right with me, and while I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, I also couldn’t look away. “I don’t think we’re interested in the resurrection of a bunch of old buildings.”

“Hey!” Quill protested.

“It isn’t only old buildings and borders that need to be renewed, dear. Sometimes it’s hearts, sometimes it’s more.” She glanced at Archer. “Sometimes it’s one’s entire purpose.”

Archer looked down at Quill, clearly trying to curb his anger. He simply turned and walked away.

“I’ve only just returned home,” I said, snagging her attention back. “Maybe we could have a day together for rest and renewal here before we go venturing out into Requiem. Or Wisteria. Or whatever the name of this world actually is.”

“It’s always been Wisteria, dear. Veiling it away from Requiem was the severance that should have never happened.”

Could I push? Could I trust an answer? I stared at the woman’s unbothered face, tempted. Curious. “Then why did it? Why was Wisteria under a veil?”

“Perhaps if you come to watch, I’ll tell you.”

“No. I don’t make deals with gods.”

The woman’s smile never faltered. “Perhaps that’s wise.”

“Come on! I don’t want to sit around here another day. It’s so boring when there’s so much to do out there.”

Her anger was my anger. Archer’s anger. It was all of our distrust and all of our paranoia feeding her.

Her rage pulsed and throbbed, slamming into me in relentless waves, setting my nerves on edge.

I tried to push back, but it didn’t work.

It mingled with Archer’s grief and bitterness, Thea and Elowen’s despair and desperation, swirling into a maelstrom of dark emotions that threatened to drag me under.

My own anger flared hotter in response. A lifetime of betrayals and lies rising up to choke me the second I was close enough to Quill while she threw a tantrum.

Lost in anger, I wasn’t standing in the Syndicate house anymore, but instead swept away on the spiral of emotions controlled by a nine year old girl.

Consumed by darkness, I stared into Thorne’s hazel eyes as he drew back a blade and shoved it into my gut over and over.

I lay in his arms in a snowbank while he twisted the blade with that fucking dimpled smile on his face.

I stood in the relentless heat of the sun while he held me still and Ezra pulled back an arrow and shot it into my sternum.

I was a victim. Over and over and over again.

I hated that I wanted to love him. Hated that I couldn’t look at that face and see the beautiful man for the monster he was. I no longer wanted to try with him. I wanted to destroy him. I wanted to pull that blade from my stomach and shove it into his. But how do you stop a god? Kill a god?

I was being hunted by the most powerful two.

I was in my home and they knew where to find me.

Being here was a problem. I’d draw them in, and this house would become my final resting place.

All because gods had to meddle and control and shove their will into everyone and everything around them until every damn choice was no longer ours.

They took and took and took, and they answered to fucking no one.

The urge to lash out, to scream, to destroy something was overwhelming.

I clenched my fists at my sides, nails digging into my palms as I struggled to maintain control.

Struggled to come back to reality. But something lingered there in that anger, the eyes of someone, several someones watching me.

Still, I left them, anchoring myself by cutting slits into my palms with my nails until my real body was the only place I could exist. Not in the fury.

But rage was the only thing I could feel now. Quill’s, but also mine.

I pushed beyond it all to turn to the child.

“For gods’ sake Quill, look around you. Look at Althea’s face.

Look into Elowen’s tired eyes, and tell me you can’t see your part in their misery.

Still, they choose to be here every day.

They choose to sit here and take these abusive emotions from you because they love you, and still you push.

This is not how you were raised. And you may not like it, young lady, but it doesn’t serve you to try to control the world. This power is dangerous.

“The world is so much bigger than you are. People are out there dying. People are being forced to do terrible things against their will. They are suffering, and you’re standing here throwing a tantrum about having to spend a single day at home.

It’s safe here. It’s warm. There’s food.

There are children a single carriage ride away from this front door that have absolutely nothing.

There’s joy if you would just allow yourself to see it.

This world is broken, but you are blessed.

You need to find a way to be grateful for what you have. Because this shit cannot continue.”

“You don’t have to be mean,” she said, eyes falling to the floor.

I threw my hands on my hips as Thea stepped away, her fear of Quill’s backlash warranted. “Neither do you. That’s a choice you get to make every single day and you are failing. It stops today.”

“I quite agree,” Aeris said, looking down at Quill with a hard face. “We’ve talked about this. It saddens me to hear you’ve been unkind.”

I wouldn’t lie and say I didn’t appreciate the woman’s support, but I hadn’t asked for it, and I didn’t need it. I’d never spoken to Quill like that. I don’t think anyone ever had. But there were some lessons I refused to let her learn the hard way.

Quill’s lower lip trembled as she looked up at me with teary eyes. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be mean. It’s just… it’s so hard to control sometimes. The magic, the feelings… they overwhelm me, and I can’t make them stop.”

My heart clenched at the vulnerability and desperation in her young voice.

I knelt and took her hands in mine, gazing into those troubled blue depths.

This was my little girl. Destiny be damned, she was mine.

And she was hurting and struggling and far too powerful for her own good.

There was a reason they said she would destroy the worlds if she wasn’t stopped.

Because she held too much. That kernel of the little girl that I’d raised was in there, fighting for her life against all that power. Poor thing.

“I know it’s hard and scary not being able to control yourself.

But you can’t keep lashing out at people with it, even unintentionally.

Your magic is a part of you, but it doesn’t define you.

You define it with your choices, your actions, and your heart.

And I know you have the biggest, most loving heart. ”

A tear slid down her flushed cheek. “What if I can’t, though? What if the magic is too strong and I can’t? I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

I wanted to promise her it would get easier, but I knew better. “Magic, like grief, doesn’t soften just because we wish it would.”

Aeris knelt beside us, sliding a hand down Quill’s arm. “There’s good in this world and bad in this world, and as long as you choose good, that’s what your power will become. Change is never easy, little bird, but it’s usually necessary. Even if we feel overwhelmed by it.”