Page 7 of Evermore (The Never Sky #3)

Paesha

I spun in my chair, taking in the little girl with a riot of curly, brown hair framing her face.

Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes just as tired as Thea and Elowen’s, and her shoulders hung heavy.

I was out of my seat in an instant, flying toward Quill and yanking her into a hug even if she didn’t want it, even as she stiffened beneath my touch and held her breath.

“I didn’t know you were friends. Maybe you could tell me about Aeris.”

We stood there for several moments before she relaxed.

Those little arms grabbed me, and I felt her let go of whatever was haunting her.

And then she began to cry. Those heavy feelings wrapped around me so tight, I couldn’t breathe as I became lost in her sorrow.

It dove into my mind, bringing flashes of things that had broken me right to the forefront.

Thorne’s face when he gave me his real name, Ezra’s when he shot that arrow, Harlow running across a cobblestone street to take a dagger for her brother, Archer sobbing in my arms at the funeral.

Thea crying on the floor when she thought she could do no more for the Maestro, Deyanira sliding that blade across Ezra’s throat, the blade buried into my belly on the Maestro’s stage, his eager fingers as he moved them over the scar.

And then beyond that. To my father, walking away from me, leaving me cold and hungry.

Even a glimpse of my mother, who I’d long forgotten as the door shut to the first home I’d ever known.

Over and over the feelings of sorrow swallowed me whole, wrapping around my heart until I couldn’t move, couldn’t think beyond the lump in my throat and the ache in my stomach.

“I’m sorry you have to feel these big feelings, Quilly. You must feel so sad right now.”

She nodded, sniffling. “Everything is broken.”

I pulled away, swiping the tears from under those blue eyes. “Then it’s time to fix it. What do we do when we have big feelings?”

“I don’t feel like dancing today.”

“Neither do I, but maybe that’s why we should do it. Because we have to be in charge of our feelings and not let them be in charge of us, right?”

She nodded. “Probably.”

I stood and whistled. “Boo. Here boy!”

The little white dog with long, golden ears came barreling from the sitting room, tail tucked between his legs as he wiggled forward, tentative to be too close to Quill, but his bottom still shaking as he licked my fingers.

“Hey,” Quill said. “You never really liked Boo before.”

I lifted the dog from the floor and snagged Quill’s hand. “And yet, somehow I missed the little terror. When’s the last time he stole a roast from the table? So I can gauge his naughtiness since I’ve been gone.”

She managed a tiny smile as she reached for her pup, pulling him from my arms. “I’m probably not going to tell you so you can be friends.”

“Speaking of friends,” I said as we walked out into the meadow, “I brought someone here I’d like you to meet. When you’re both ready.”

She stopped, pulling out of my grip around her fingers. “The sad one that’s also a little bit mad?”

I knew I had to be careful with my words.

As Quill’s power grew, she could either learn to navigate her feelings, or she would drown in them.

And by the looks of it, she was already struggling.

“Something really sad happened to him, yes. But sad things happen and we have to learn to process those things. We can’t hold on to them.

” I knelt before her in the grass, though she’d grown so much, I had to look up at her from here.

“Remember when Hollis died and we were all very sad? If I think about him for a long time, I feel sad. But I also feel so much joy because I got to know him. And then I think of all the nice things he did for us. Remember when he sewed a special pocket onto your blue dress so you could keep Boo’s treats in there? ”

“Yes. And remember when Boo ripped a hole in the pocket?”

“And what did Hollis do for you?”

Her gaze shifted between my eyes. “He patched it up.”

“All feelings are good to have. We can be sad and mad and embarrassed and anxious, but we also have to let ourselves be happy. We have to hold onto that one the most or everything is dark.”

“Sometimes I like the dark,” she admitted, kicking a toe into the ground. “Sometimes the dark feels better.”

I reached out, brushing a thumb across her cheek. “Darkness has a way of feeling safe, like it’s the only place big enough to hold all our hurt. But remember, Quilly, darkness is where we hide, not where we heal. We walk through it, not to stay, but to find our way back to the light.”

Boo ran around us as I pulled her into another hug and for a moment everything was right in the world.

Quill’s happiness rippled around us and if I didn’t know any better, I would have sworn I saw the grass sway with the density of it.

She moved away from me and threw her hands out sideways, tossing her head back.

“Can you believe the sun is shining so bright? When was the last time we had sunshine like this?”

“I can’t remember.”

I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. I’d wished for this, I’d dreamt of it even, but something felt wrong.

I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and looked over to see Thea and Elowen, holding each other on the step as they stared at that little girl in wonder.

She’d been so broken, and in turn they had been, but they’d kept it together, severing themselves from the world because that was what it took to keep everyone as safe as possible.

But Quill had needed me more than anything.

She’d needed to be reminded that she was worth coming back for.

She’d been abandoned by her parents just like I had.

We were kindred souls, she and I. And some of my roughest days had been made brighter because of her.

“Are we dancing or what?” Quill asked, stopping to pin me with a glare.

Her mood swings were so sharp, the edge to her voice nearly stole my breath.

“Have you lost all your manners since I’ve been gone?”

She drew back as if she hadn’t heard her own tone, then lifted a shoulder without answering.

Pushing her while she was still unstable was not a good idea, but letting her trample over people wasn’t either.

That was where Thea and Elowen had landed and they’d only been able to endure a few months of it.

“You don’t get to be unkind, Quill. No matter the darkness you crave, or the hurt you feel, you have a duty to yourself and the people around you.”

She drew in a sharp breath and I knew she’d forgotten the way my words could bite. I wouldn’t coddle her, nor would I walk around on eggshells and give her the upperhand. She was a child that needed boundaries.

Her glare was visceral. “I don’t want to dance anymore.” She spun on a heel and ran back to the house, darting around the other two.

Without thinking I sent my power forward, breathing at the release of it, not realizing how much pressure had grown behind the swell of it.

I used it to follow her all the way to her bedroom to make sure she didn’t run out the back door.

She screamed, something crashed and not a second later everyone was running after her.

Quill’s bedroom door was in splinters all over the hall.

The handle, broken into pieces, lay below a new hole in the wall at the end of the hallway.

Archer surged out of his room without a shirt, hair disheveled and rings under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept in days. “What happened?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but Thea cut me off. “There were shadows. They chased Quill into the house and… Why’d your door break, Quill?”

Shadows. Fuck.

I whipped around, expecting to see Alastor there, dreading the reality that I’d lured the gods to the Syndicate house. But he was nowhere to be seen.

The little girl sat on her bed, hugging her knees to her chest. “Because I was mean and Paesha got mad at me.”

I stepped over the larger pieces of wood, moving to her side as I put an arm around her, soaking in the fear. “I wasn’t mad at you. Not even a little bit. I promise.”

“Then why’d you send those shadow things after me?”

I looked up, locking eyes with Archer. I couldn’t still be holding the power from the dead prince. I’d released that magic to break the veil. It couldn’t have stayed with me, I didn’t own that power. But then it must have been Alastor. “Those weren’t mine. And they’re called Remnants.”

“I think they were yours, P,” Thea said. “They came from where you were standing.”

“No. They belong to a god named Alastor. Which means he’s got to be lurking around if he was waiting for that moment.”

Thea leaned on the door frame, crossing her arms. “Maybe it’s time for you to tell us where you’ve been and how you got back.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Thea said, holding a cup of tea in her hands that had gone cold. “We all agree we hate Thorne, right? Or Reverius or whatever his name is. But Ezra? This can’t be right. We know him. He loves you.”

“Maybe,” I shrugged. “Maybe Ezra has loved me in my past lives too, but I always die at one of their hands. I’ve seen it three times, Thea.”

Archer, now sitting with a shirt on, eyes a little more clear, settled back on the couch. “I was pretty sure Thorne loved her about two days ago, to be fair. Either way, they can’t be trusted.”

Elowen patted Archer on his arm. “I’m so sorry to hear about your sister, dear. She sounds like the kind of person we would have cherished around here.”

He nodded, falling silent.

“Are you mad or sad right now?” Quill asked from her spot on the floor.

She’d been too afraid of Alastor’s shadows to stay in her room by herself, but ultimately, she needed to hear how dangerous the gods could be too.

And how hard I’d fought to get back here.

Even if we’d left out the part about her burning down the realms. I’d catch the others up on that bit later, mostly because I wasn’t even sure if it was true anymore.

The only thing gods did flawlessly was fuck and lie, it seemed.

When Archer didn’t answer, Quill stood, moving closer to him. Thea all but stomped on my foot to get me to interfere. But there was no point. They’d already been around each other for an hour.

Archer, being the decent man he was, lifted his gaze to the child and forced a gentle smile. “I think I’m a little bit of both.”

Quill took his hand in hers and the rest of us held our breath as she closed her eyes. “All feelings are good to have, but we have to let ourselves be happy too.”

For a second, Archer went rigid. Then he melted into a puddle, his eyes filling with tears as he stared at my girl, and maybe for a moment, understood why she’d been worth every second of my bargain.

He smiled. His real, genuine Archer smile that was full of boyish charm, a thief’s distraction, and a gambler’s biggest win.

“There you are,” Quill said, as if she’d been hunting for the man behind the misery. “My name is Quill Vox and it’s very nice to meet you.”

Quill Vox.

She’d given him my last name. My girl.

I knew she felt my absolute joy in that moment because she turned to look at me with a smile. “Is that okay if that’s my name? And Boo too, because we can’t leave him out of the family.”

“Of course it is.” And for the very first time in my adult life, I was proud of that name.

“It’s nice to meet you, too, Pencil,” Archer grinned.

“Hey, that’s not my name.”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you guys the part where Archie is the worst nickname giver on the face of the planet, and if you ever hear him call me Fingers, just ignore it entirely.”

Archer laughed, Quill giggled, and the joy of that happiness filled the room.

It was clear we were all high on her emotional roller coaster at the moment, but at least it was something pleasant.

Thea laughed and the sound of it filled an ache in my soul, washing away the homesickness that’d settled in there.

There were pieces of this place missing, but at least these two ladies were here.

Elowen’s laugh followed, something deep and soothing that started simple and twisted into her shoulders shaking with laughter.

Something hysterical bubbled up from within me.

Tears of mirth streamed down our faces as the euphoria consumed us and the laughter took on a life of its own, feeding off itself and growing in intensity until the feeling burned white hot.

A flicker of unease started to grow in the pit of my stomach, wrapping around the regenerating power and coaxing it until I had to physically try not to use it.

It was getting hard to breathe between the relentless laughing that seized my body.

My sides ached and my head spun. Glancing around, I could see the others in a similar state, smiles far too wide, eyes laced with worry.

“Quill,” I managed to choke out between bursts of laughter. “Quill, you need to stop. It’s too much.”

She cocked her head to the side, brow furrowed in confusion as she surveyed the room of hysterical adults. The mirth didn’t seem to be affecting her.

“But why? I thought everyone wanted to be happy. Isn’t this happiness? Aren’t we all having such a great time?”

The nine year old was trying to teach me a lesson, it seemed. “Too much of anything can be dangerous,” I said while laughing. The point was lost in the emotion swirling around the room. But she knew that.

“I find it really hard to believe you when you’re laughing so hard.” She stood from her spot before Archer and tucked her curls behind her ears as she glared at me. “Maybe you just need to be more happy.

Her magic struck me hard and fast, and before I could react at all, three sharp knocks at the door were followed by a voice I’d never heard. “Are you home, Little Bird?”

Quill spun around, yanking her power away as she ran for the door, shouting, “Aeris!”

Thea rose from her seat, the smile fading to a distant numbness. “What was that you were saying about keeping the gods away? In case you missed it, that’s not the kid you left behind.”