Page 30 of Evergreen Desires (Wildheart Chronicles #1)

BEAU

The aroma of something delicious filled the air as I hung up my flannel coat by the back door.

Jake was busy in the kitchen, arranging plates and utensils.

The sight of him, with a bandage on his forehead and his arm in a sling, brought a rush of emotions to my chest. I tried to stay focused and asked, "What smells so good?

How are you doing? Did you have much pain today? "

He chuckled. "Wow, you just asked like three questions in a row in the same breath."

"Ah, sorry. Just lots on my mind and they all came out at once," I said, feeling awkward and a bit flustered.

"I'm fine," he reassured me, coming around the counter to give me a quick kiss on the top of my head. The gesture caught me off guard, and I struggled to react.

"I made us a tater tot casserole," he said with a smile.

"Tater tot casserole? I've never heard of that," I admitted.

"It's something my grandmother used to make for me. It's my comfort food. Think shepherd's pie, but with tater tots on top instead of mashed potatoes, and a layer of cheese under the tater tots," he explained.

"It sounds interesting and weirdly tasty. I can imagine you need some comfort food after everything that has happened," I replied, trying to steer the conversation away from the tension building in my chest.

"Well, yes, but I'm also thinking you need some comfort food too. I really made it for you," he admitted, looking directly into my eyes. His gaze conveyed calm and trust, but there was also an underlying sense that he wanted to have a deeper conversation. The tightness in my chest intensified.

"You want to talk, don't you?" I finally asked, not wanting to avoid the inevitable.

"Beau, I want to make sure you're okay too. You've been taking care of me, but it's clear you're hurting," he said gently. "I know this crash brought back old memories for you. I'm here for you too."

As we sat down to eat, I focused heavily on my plate, trying to delay the conversation that was bound to come. I took a few quick bites, savoring the delicious food, which surprisingly did bring some comfort.

"Okay, I just need to dive into this," I finally said, taking a deep breath. "Jake, I love you. I knew it the minute I saw you. But it's best for us to call it quits."

The lump in my throat made it hard to speak, but I managed to continue. Jake just stared at me, not showing any particular emotion .

"I love you too," he responded calmly. "I'm glad to hear you say it, but you've always made me feel loved. I'm in this for the long haul. I get that you're scared right now, but I'm not planning to go anywhere. We don’t have to call it quits."

"But that's the problem. I can't promise I can protect you, and being with me puts you in danger. I know they haven't found who ran you off the road, but you won't convince me otherwise that it wasn't related to all this mess," I said, gesturing towards the kitchen window.

Again, Jake remained composed and said firmly, "I'm in this for the long run."

I took a deep, steadying breath. "Jake, I can't and won't make you leave. You can stay as long as you want. I promised that to you early on, and that hasn't changed.”

"You know this is the worst attempt at a breakup ever." Jake chuckled. "I love you, but we're breaking up. You don't need to leave."

I sighed, frustrated. He wasn’t getting it. "Jake, I've always wanted to take your burdens on myself, and I still do. But I don't want any of my burdens on you ."

"You’re not a burden, and I'm going in with my eyes wide open," he insisted. “I know what I’m getting myself into.”

"Well, for now, we're going to call it quits. This is for both of our sakes," I said, my voice trembling.

I stood up and walked over to Jake, who stumbled to his feet.

I gave him a tight embrace, trying to avoid his injured shoulder the best I could.

Then, I gently touched his chin, lifting it upward so he's facing me, and gave him a lingering kiss on his plump pink lips.

I wanted to remember this final kiss, even though it felt like I was ripping out my heart.

As I pulled away, I forced myself to take a deep breath and put on a forced smile. "Good night, Jake."

I headed upstairs, closing the bedroom door behind me, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. This was the hardest thing I'd ever done, and I couldn’t help but feel that I was losing a part of myself.