Page 29 of Evergreen Desires (Wildheart Chronicles #1)

JAKE

Ugh.

Rolling over and reaching, there was no one next to me.

Again. It looked like Beau didn't even come to bed with me. I found myself staring at the window, sunlight peeking around the edges. The car crash injured me, but it had clearly taken a toll on Beau as well. Even now that I was back home, he didn’t seem the same.

I pulled myself out of bed and headed to the kitchen.

I took the last of my prescribed pain pills yesterday, so today I’d hopefully be less foggy and more functional.

I’d started spacing the doses and weaning myself off them, and today I would rely on Tylenol.

My shoulder was still in a sling, and I had some purple bruising that was starting to fade on my forehead and across my chest. I was just glad I didn't break anything critical like my pelvis or my spine.

The thought of that made me break into a cold sweat.

My coffee mug was in its usual spot where Beau placed it each morning before he headed out.

There, next to my coffee mug, was a bottle of Tylenol.

It brought a smile to my face, then I felt a tightness in my throat.

Tears began to well up in my eyes as I thought about how Beau had taken care of me and seen me in my worst of times.

My last relationship had ended when I ran from it, literally, but he’d never took care of me.

Even when I was sick with the flu, he never would have taken me to the doctor.

I would be the one to sleep on the couch so that he wouldn't miss work. Not that he was particularly mean about it; he always made it sound like the logical, practical thing to do. “Since you’re staying home tomorrow for a sick day, let me take the bed so that I don’t miss work or jeopardize my job.

” The only time that was different was when he thought I was really contagious…

then I would be isolated in the bedroom with the door closed.

I never realized how manipulative the relationship was. Hindsight, I guess. Especially when you added in how I’d felt like I had to drop my college courses, how he’d degraded my photography passion, and even his use of my inheritance from my grandparents.

The coffee began to kick in, and my mind cleared the majority of the fog that had been lingering, not all, but semi-functioning.

I started the computer to check out the website and see if there were any more tweaks I could make.

While still a way off at the moment, I would like to get the website fully updated before the holidays.

Beau and I had discussed possibly doing a bit of a direct to customer Christmas tree farm this year.

Something that would cater to the kids and families in the area.

Beau, despite his introverted tendencies, was open to having children around and perhaps starting a little bit of a U-Cut Tree tradition in addition to providing for the outsourced tree lots around the area.

Will was in charge of keeping the cannabis business as hidden as possible for this operation, perhaps with the addition of some holiday-themed screens around this side of the greenhouse.

Chirp.

I jumped at the chirp of the new alarm system.

Beau had it installed the day after the accident here at the house as well as at the office.

He’d wanted to make sure that we were protected.

As my heart rate began to calm back down, I heard Beau rustling in the kitchen.

Glancing at the clock on the laptop, I saw that it was lunchtime.

A good time for a break and a chance to see Beau.

***

“Hey there.”

“Hi, how are you feeling? Did you see the Tylenol I left out just in case? I didn’t want…”

I interrupted him with a kiss on the cheek. However, he pulled back as soon as the kiss landed.

“You okay?” I felt every insecurity racing into my mind. I could barely get my words to form properly.

“Yes, all good. I just wanted to make sure your wounds were healing up. I also was just grabbing a quick sandwich before I head back out. I need to make sure the final cameras get installed and then head around the grove. Some of the trees will need shaping. It’s been a busy week.”

“Are you sure that’s all?”

“Yes, I promise. I just have a ton on my mind. Plus, once you start feeling better, we’ll go get you another car. ”

“I’m not sure I am up for driving anytime soon,” I admitted

“I get that. This happened to you . When it was my mother, I didn’t drive for almost six months. You take as long as you need. I’m not going to force you to drive until you want to.”

“Thank you.” I was about to lean in to give him a squeeze, but I stopped myself, just in case he pulled back again. I was not sure I would be able to hold it in if he pulled back again.

Beau pulled back to look at me, his stare intense, almost unnerving. “Jake, I care for you deeply; you know that. I promised you I would not force you into anything and that I would do anything to keep you safe. You need to know that.”

“I do.” Deep down, I did. He had proven that. But it was eating at me.

“I need to get back to work so that I am not working all night. Do you need anything?”

“No, I am good at the moment.”

“Okay, call me if you need anything, and you know Will is right in the greenhouse as well. He’s harvesting a row today for pick-up tomorrow.”

I turned and walked back into the dining-room-turned-office so that he didn’t see anything more on my face.

** *

“I didn’t expect to see you up and moving,” Will said as he bent over a waist-high plant, slicing clean through the stalk with a curved blade. He set the trimmed plant aside and grabbed a wooden stake from the pile at his feet. “How are you feeling?”

“I saw Beau about an hour ago and mentioned you were harvesting a row today. Figured I would see if I could help. Well, as much as I can help with one good arm.”

“Dude, I got things under control, but you’re more than welcome to help. Of course Beau would say it was just one row. I am actually doing one table in this house and two in the next house. You do what you want and don’t push yourself. I can handle it, but I am happy for the help.”

“Can we chat while we work?”

He must have seen my hesitation. Will asked in his no-nonsense voice, making sure to look me straight in the eyes, “What is it?”

It made me consider chickening out of asking him for advice. I took a breath before I turned to the row of plants, pulled on some gloves, and began helping. Hoping the lack of eye contact as I spoke would help. “Does Beau still like me? You know what I mean… really like me.”

Will went wide-eyed and stared at me. I continued to focus on the plant in front of me. “I can tell you, emphatically, that he cares deeply for you. What's brought this on?" He had taken off his gloves and was leaning with his butt on the table, arms folded across his chest.

“He has not slept with me since the hospital.

Not sex, but he truly has not slept in his bed with me.

He hasn't cuddled with me. I get that I have injuries and was a bit out of it the first couple of days with painkillers. But he even pulled away from a kiss this afternoon when he came home at lunch to grab a sandwich. Then he just hurried back out the door to get to work.” The tears were welling in my eyes again, but I was refusing to blink them out.

There was a moment of silence. It was excruciating, as if it was dragged out forever, despite it being likely only a few beats.

“Jake, Beau loves you. If he has not said that to you, then he’s an idiot. But as someone who has been with him his whole life, I can tell you he loves you. Did you ever question it prior to the accident?”

“No, not at all.”

“I can say this last week, he’s scared. You know he lost his mom in a car accident when we were still in high school.”

“Yes, he had mentioned it. I don’t know the details, but he did say you took care of him after that.”

“I drove that fucker around for six months. I was happy to; he was my best friend, still is. It was not too long after that when I was kicked out of my house and his dad took me in. I was here when he got the call from Mat about your accident. He did not take it well. I had to take the phone from his hand and even help get his shoes on. He was helpless… because it was YOU. Yes, it sparked some flashbacks, no doubt, but it was all because it was you .” Will paused, staring off into the distance.

“That is why he’s installing cameras everywhere and had a security alarm company here the very next day.

I think it’s killing him that you’re now involved in the mess with the town, just because the two of you are a thing. ”

“But it’s my choice,” I said. “I want to be part of his world… the good and the bad.”

“Here is my advice… just keep being there. He loves you. He will never be able to deny that. When he figures out what is in his head and feels we’re all safe, you will be back to your bed gymnastics.” He did his best pelvic thrust dance for emphasis.

“Dude, you’re like a teenager that never grew up.” Admittedly, he made me smirk.

“Yeah, but you love it.”

“Thank you,” I said, because he’d really helped ease my mind. “Truly.”

“Hey, you’re family, man… now are you helping me or not?” We both turned our attention to the long table in front of us that was not going to harvest itself. We’d better get to work.