Page 28

Belonging

G rayson found himself getting tired only halfway to the dorm. A little breathless. His limbs ached. He felt lightheaded and wanted to sit down. He hadn’t used his powers like this in… well, in ever .

It had felt good when he was doing it. It had actually been a complete rush, if he were honest with himself. He had felt like power was flowing through his veins like wine. But like the buzz that alcohol gave, the hangover was the worst. And he was coming down. And falling fast.

He kept up the appearance of being fine, but he was pretty sure that the Vampires knew.

They were predators, after all, and injured prey would be apparent to them.

His gait had slowed. He twisted his neck and back as if they were bothering him to have an explanation for slowing even more.

He knew that they were worried about him.

Balthazar’s lips had pursed when Grayson continued to insist he wanted to go back to the dorm instead of staying at the Eyros Palace.

“It’s perfectly comfortable here. You can have your old room,” Balthazar had offered.

“I know it is. I slept well there last time, but I want my own space. And the Ever Dark made my room perfect,” Grayson explained.

And he knew that Ryder would be more comfortable there. His mind kept flashing to waking up next to Wolf-Ryder and he wanted that again. He knew that Balthazar had caught that thought even without him having to dig around.

“Ah! Yes, well, makes sense,” Balthazar said.

But now he was thinking that this didn’t make sense at all.

He should have just crawled up the stairs to any old bedroom.

Now he was going to have to crawl all the way back to his dorm.

Or he would soon. But he kept trying to hide it.

He doubted he was fooling anyone. But no one said anything.

At least, not until he and Ryder were alone.

But getting them alone was not as easy as Grayson would have thought.

Siban and Demos were clearly eager to see inside the Weryn Palace.

They’d both practically had their eyes glued to it even as they’d been walking away from it.

Ryder surprised him by glancing at it only once before focusing fully upon him.

But Grayson should have expected this really.

He bet having the palace open was a big deal.

It would officially show that Weyrn was back and it would demonstrate that Demos and Siban were his right-hand people.

For Ryder, though, it was likely a reminder that he had not integrated his past yet and his Weryn-side was still waiting in the shadows to overtake him again.

“Look, guys, if you really want to open the palace, I can wait for dinner,” Grayson had offered again.

He wasn’t sure that was true, but at the palace, maybe he could sit . Just for a little bit. The hopeful looks in both Siban and Demos’ faces immediately vanished after a look from Ryder, which was mirrored by Dani. Though their expressions quickly blanked when Grayson looked at them full on.

So we’re all pretending I’m fine. Okay, that’s interesting.

“We’re good. We need to get things squared away. You go ahead and have your meal and nap,” Siban said with a smile.

“You made that dinner sound so good that even I want some.” Demos smiled.

“If you’re sure …” Of course, everyone nodded and then Grayson felt a self-conscious flush heat his cheeks. He was keeping them from doing what they wanted. “If you’re worried about me, I can go crash and Ryder can meet up with me later after he opens the palace.”

He did not want that though. He wanted Ryder with him now and he wanted to see the Weryn Palace opened.

After all, how many chances would he get to see such a thing?

Plus, it was happening for Ryder. He wanted to be there for that momentous event.

But if everyone was holding off because of him, he couldn’t feel good about it.

It was selfish. More than selfish. He was acting as if what he wanted in this situation was paramount but it wasn’t.

He’d just Ryder. Ryder wasn’t his , even as his heart cried out that Ryder was his.

My heart? What am I doing here?

“I’m not ready to open the palace,” Ryder said, and Grayson wondered if that was true. He ran a few fingers along Grayson’s right cheek. “Besides, I would like you there with me, Grayson. And I won’t feel at ease until you’re rested.”

Grayson couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on his face.

He kept expecting that voice in his head to tell him to not trust this feeling of happiness, to distrust the others-- especially Ryder, and to keep to himself, but the voice didn’t come.

In fact, he hadn’t heard it for quite some time now.

And though he scratched around inside his head for it, there was nothing.

No doubt. No fear. He felt settled in himself and his place here.

It makes no sense, but I do feel it.

“Okay, well, I’ll eat and nap fast then,” Grayson told them, even as he felt he wanted to curl against Wolf-Ryder and sleep forever.

But he’d managed to walk a few blocks before Siban and Demos had headed off, then it had just been him, Ryder and Dani.

She was gently putting her fingers together in front of her as people do when they want to say something, but don’t know how to say it.

He was pretty sure she was worried about his ever-slowing steps.

But he also felt like there was something else she wanted to say, but wasn’t saying.

“What’s up, Dani?” Grayson asked, stopping to face her. It gave him another reason to stop and rest, too.

Her head lifted and her silver eyes widened. “What? Nothing.”

“Really?” His eyes narrowed. “I might not know you well,” which oddly had her and Ryder stiffening, “but I can tell something is on your mind. And what is it with all the Vampires following us on rooftops?”

Grayson had noticed them before, but since they weren’t exactly hiding and he was sure that Ryder knew about it--he’d looked up at one of them who had been outlined against one of the Ever Dark’s moons and merely grimaced slightly--he hadn’t been worried.

Grayson was also pretty sure that some of these people had been sitting with Dani in the Ring.

So they’re Ashyr Vampires too.

“Ah, they’re--they’re the ones I mentioned earlier who are excited to meet you. Other Ashyr Vampires,” Dani explained, but somehow as open as she was being, it seemed to Grayson that she was leaving a whole lot out.

“And why do they want to meet me exactly?” Grayson asked.

“Because…” Here her eyes flickered to Ryder and then away. “Because of what they saw you do in the Ring. You have our--our gift. So… they’re interested.”

“Okay, but what’s with the rooftop hopping?” Grayson asked, still feeling that this wasn’t at all a complete explanation.

“I told them not to crowd you. So this was their solution.” She gave him an overly bright smile.

“Huh, yeah, subtle,” Grayson said with a twist of a smile. “I’m sure they’re curious, want to compare notes, and all that, but maybe not today? I mean they aren’t going to keep following me everywhere, are they? That’s not exactly going to keep my profile down with the other students.”

“I think that may be a lost cause. You weren’t there for any of the classes today,” Ryder pointed out dryly.

“Yeah, I guess I should be more involved in student life,” Grayson agreed, even as his legs really ached.

“I don’t know if that’s…” Dani began then licked her lips then did that finger pressing thing again. She looked truly like she wanted to burst out with something but was arguing with herself. “I don’t know if that’s safe with the Sect of Dawn somewhere operating in the Ever Dark.”

“I can take care of myself, you know? You did see me in there with Jill, right? And at the Ring?” he pointed out, and for some reason he wanted her to be impressed with what he’d done.

“I did.” More finger pressing. “And it was most impressive. But right now you’re… you’re in need of a nap.”

It was more than that. The headache was back like a vise around his head and his legs felt like they might just crumple beneath him if he hadn’t been leaning against a stone light pole.

It felt like his battery was being drained of juice, which was similar to what had happened when he’d gone to Daemon’s palace.

Was the Ever Dark drawing energy from him?

But, then again, he’d never felt more powerful than he was here either.

“Right, well, Ryder will be with me,” Grayson said, and eagerly took the proffered arm that Ryder offered him.

“Is Ryder going to be with you in the classes or at the parties? Because that will be more obvious than the Vampires hopping on buildings,” Dani sighed as she gestured to the silver-eyed folk that were now all crouched on the rooftops watching them intently, unblinking.

It would have been creepy--okay, it was creepy--if not for the fact that Ryder and Dani were with him. He didn’t feel capable of using his powers at the moment. He was really like a Raggedy Andy doll whose sand was flowing out.

“We’ll figure something out. I won’t be so in need of a nap later,” Grayson said, feeling the nap comment was now a euphemism for everything wrong with him.

“I’m just concerned,” Dani said and she grimaced.

Grayson reached out to her and touched her left forearm.

“Hey, hey, I know you are.” And normally that would have annoyed him or made him suspicious, but again, like with the voice that dug at him to distrust, those feelings weren’t there.

“But everything is going to be okay. I’ll be completely better soon. ”

He hoped that was true. It had to be true.

Dani nodded, but looked rather miserable. “Yes, I’m sure that’s true.”

“You should go speak to them.” Ryder, who had kept mostly silent, finally spoke up as he indicated the Vampires, which were resembling birds of prey above them. “And explain that meeting Grayson today isn’t happening.”