Page 35

CHAPTER 35

‘No shit.’

‘Elva, look at me.’

Her traitorous eyes darted of their own accord, until they were ensnared by his gaze.

He took a slow step towards her.

‘Last night, you asked me to stay. And then this afternoon we were fine, until we weren’t.

But it wasn’t because you told me you had a girlfriend; it was because you told me you were forced to break up because of our arrangement.

’ His voice was strained.

‘Who the hell am I to think you might be interested in me when you had what sounds like a pretty great relationship back home?’ He ran his hand through his hair and looked away.

‘You’re put together, and I’m a liability who can barely manage to get through the day without erupting Ever.

I’d be delusional to think you would want this beyond the requirements of the treaty.

’ He laughed, opening his arms wide in a shrug, before returning to his chair to slouch deeply into the wood.

Wait, what ?

Her mind reeled.

This was because she’d just broken up with Remi and not because.

.

.

The anger in her chest sputtered, and the taste of resignation replaced it.

She could see how they’d ended up here, but it didn’t make accepting it any easier.

She rubbed her forehead.

‘You don’t know how I feel,’ she said, pulling a chair over to sit opposite him.

‘Because I haven’t told you.

’

Fyn opened his eyes and looked at her.

Butterflies fluttered but she forced herself to keep speaking, unwilling to have yet another barrier between them.

‘Yes, I had a girlfriend in Vincentia. Her name was Remi and I loved her, but we both knew it wasn’t going to last.

We got together after the massacre at Anfa.

We both fell into grief – and fell into each other – after it.

But we knew what it was, Fyn.

’

His eyes flared.

No one had set the firelights, and in the darkening tent his eyes were all that shone.

He cleared his throat.

‘I made a real mess of this, didn’t I?

’

She laughed, and his lips curved skywards.

‘I don’t know how to explain this thing between us, Elva.

’

Her name on his lips made her shudder, and she sat up straighter.

‘I get it, Fyn, but I do feel something. So, if you want to pretend this thing isn’t happening between us, you need to at least tell me so I can make my own decision.

’

He let out a long, slow hum and sat up, pressing his knees into hers.

Her throat was tight, and she didn’t know if what she’d said was true.

Did she want to know how he felt?

Her hesitation melted a second later when he leaned forwards and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

Her breath caught and she fought her eyelids to stay open.

‘The truth is I want you.’ His voice was gentle, the words caressing the bare skin on her neck.

He brushed a second strand of hair behind her other ear.

‘And I want there to be an us.’

A tremor went through her and she bit her lip to stop herself from saying something stupid.

His eyes followed the movement, darkening as he watched her lips part in silent surprise.

Now would be the time to say no.

Think of the treaty; think of what this will mean .

Do I really want to do this with a man I won’t be able to leave?

But her body throbbed and fire raced along her skin where his gaze landed.

He didn’t make a move towards her – a challenge lay behind his eyes, and she had never been someone who refused one.

Slowly, she reached out and grazed a finger across his cheek, his stubble so much softer than she’d expected; at odds with the sharp angles of his jawline.

She could hear her own heartbeat, but just under that was something else.

True.

Her knowing burst forwards like a dam breaking and their lips collided so quickly it was all she could do not to moan.

He tasted like salt and honey, and he reached a hand up to cup the nape of her neck, pulling her close.

She pushed herself forwards, balancing on the edge of her seat, and ran her tongue over his bottom lip, giving it a small nip.

As soon as she did, lightning snapped through the tug between them.

He groaned.

Wet pooled between her thighs at the sound.

The ache of the tug broke and he tilted her head back, fingers sinking into her hair, dragging her towards him.

The back of the chair lifted at the movement and she tumbled forwards, bracing herself on his legs without breaking the kiss.

He shifted beneath her and she straddled him, hissing in pleasure when she felt his cock press against her.

He traced a hand over her ass and the inferno inside her burned hotter, harder.

She opened her mouth and his tongue swept in, running across her lips.

She arched into the touch, friction sparking between her legs.

Gods, kissing him was fun .

She would have done it all day had the fire in her core not felt like it might explode.

She ground herself against his hard length and he groaned into her mouth.

Her fingers stumbled over the buttons of his shirt, but she managed to get them undone and push the fabric away so she could finally touch him.

The warm planes of his chest sent her fingers gliding, and the soft texture of his chest hair made her shudder.

His body was so different from Remi’s, but the difference made her excited.

She wanted to explore every inch of him.

He broke off the kiss, and she would have complained had he not pushed her own shirt up, over her head.

His eyes widened, hunger flashing on his features as he took in the bounce of her breasts, her hard nipples.

He ran a thumb over one, sending goosebumps shooting across her skin, and then bent his head to graze his teeth over it.

She moaned and without warning she stood.

He cursed, looking at the door of the tent to see if anyone had entered.

She huffed, shaking her head before kicking off her boots in a flurry, then undoing the buttons of her pants so they slid to the ground.

She stood naked before him, her skin prickling with heat as his eyes roamed her body.

He let out a slow, wicked grin and stood.

Slowly, agonisingly slowly, he shrugged his shirt off.

She pouted impatiently, but he shook his head, slowing his movements even more.

Two could play at this game.

As he ever-so-slowly took off his socks, and then his pants, she reached a hand between her legs.

Storm clouds thundered in his eyes at the sight, and she let her mouth quirk into a dangerous smile.

‘You’re incredible.

’ His voice was husky.

He let his pants drop to the ground and she finally took him in.

That tantalising V she’d been dreaming about was on full display, guiding her eyes down the length of his abs until she rested her gaze on his cock.

The length bounced as he shifted his weight, and she sucked in a breath.

Darker than the rest of his skin, it looked like an artist had carved it from marble, every line and curve and vein.

He took a step towards her and she danced backwards.

His eyes lit and he prowled closer, until her legs hit the back of the table and she stopped.

He took three long strides to close the distance between them and swept her head back in a dizzying kiss, before lifting her so she sat on the edge of the table.

Tingles broke out everywhere their skin touched, but she wanted more.

She spread her legs, and he drew back until he was kneeling in front of her.

Fyn met her gaze, and she could have sworn she felt a burst of emotion through the tug.

Starved, yearning to escape.

She nodded at his raised eyebrow and he grinned, then he bent his head and licked, one smooth motion.

She groaned and threw her head back, the pressure so perfect she wondered if she would unravel right there.

He licked again.

And again.

She thrust her hips forwards, moving until she was grinding on his face, panting his name.

He licked his fingers, and slipped them inside of her, working his tongue and hand in tandem.

Holy gods.

She groaned, overcome with the growing pressure mounting in her body as he worked her into a shuddering mess.

She wasn’t going to – couldn’t – Oh, gods—

She couldn’t hold it any longer.

She grabbed his head and held him to her, lightning burning through her as she came on his tongue.

When her trembling stopped, he stood and licked his fingers, eyes hooded with desire.

She lay sprawled on the table, the maps crumpling beneath her, but at his look she pushed herself up and reached for him, hungrier than ever before.

She kissed him deeply, tasting the salty tang of herself on his lips, felt his cock press against her, causing her stomach to backflip in anticipation.

‘I take the contraceptive tonic,’ he said between kisses.

‘Good.’

She reached a hand to her mouth and licked her fingers, her palm, until it was glistening and then she grabbed his cock and stroked.

Fyn groaned, a shudder cascading through his body at her touch.

She pumped him slowly, and then brought the head of his cock to her clit and rubbed herself on him.

His eyes danced shut and his fingers clenched in her hair.

When she couldn’t stand the tease any longer, she brought him closer, gasping when he finally entered.

Every inch sent shivers ricocheting through her body.

They locked eyes and the world stilled.

She looped one hand around his neck and placed one behind her to brace on the table, and when he was fully seated inside of her, he began moving.

Every time he withdrew her body ached for more, and when she gave him a small nod he finally unleashed himself, fucking her so hard the books on the desk fell, her hand tore through the map on the centre of the table and the lights in his eyes flashed, casting shadows over their naked skin.

He groaned her name, brow slick with sweat, and she writhed further onto his cock, the force of his thrusting sending her sanity over the edge and into the abyss.

Fire cracked under her skin, and the tug between them rose like a tidal wave, pushing against the boundaries of her being until she couldn’t tell what was real and what had happened before.

Their gazes clashed and he shouted her name, his cock pulsing inside of her as she cried out, waves of pleasure sweeping through her as she toppled over the

edge and into the

universe.

He pulled her close as their breathing settled, and her mind slowly pieced itself back together.

After a minute – a millennium?

– Fyn pushed himself off the table and withdrew, the sensation causing her to shudder once again.

He staggered over to a pile of medical supplies and pulled two clean towels from the bundle.

She took one from his outstretched hand and wiped the mess dripping from her.

Then she looked at him and laughed.

‘You might need to get a new table,’ she said, sliding off her perch.

She threw the towel into a corner, and sighed contentedly when he came and wrapped his arms around her.

‘Never. I want to look at this table and remember you moaning when meetings are boring.’ He spun her around so their chests touched, the perspiration on their skin mingling.

He leaned down and kissed her gently, then rested his forehead on her own.

She hissed at the bruising contact, and he pulled away quickly, eyes darkening when he realised what had happened.

‘I should have killed him slower.’

Elva shook her head.

‘He doesn’t deserve any more of our time.

’

He sighed, a furrow creasing his brow, and she raised a finger to smooth it, astonished she could do such a thing now.

‘I don’t want to talk about that when I just had some of the best sex of my life,’ she said, bouncing on the balls of her feet to plant a kiss on his cheek.

His lips twitched and she nipped him, his chuckle like water in a desert.

‘Some of the best?’

‘Some of the best,’ she agreed.

He lifted her around the middle and pressed her so she was once again standing against the table.

‘What if I told you that was the best for me?’

‘Then I’d say we probably need to do it again to test your theory.

’

His eyes glinted with hunger, and she grinned before spinning around to bend over, offering him the chance to do just that.

They lay on the soft bedding in Fyn’s tent, limbs tangled together under the plush throws.

They’d found their way there after the table had given out; Fyn had growled in frustration and carried her covered in a blanket to his tent, where he’d spent the next few hours showing her just how talented he was with his tongue.

And his hands.

Elva rested her head on his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heartbeat.

His fingers traced lazy circles, mapping her tattoo of the warrior’s symbol, the flecks of scars scattered along her arms.

Each stroke sent shivers across her skin.

‘Truth or lie?’ Fyn broke the quiet in the tent, his voice a low rumble which thrummed through his chest.

She hummed in quiet contentment.

‘Truth.’

Fyn took his time answering, his hand still rubbing small circles on her arm.

‘When my mother was murdered, Lonn had to stop me from killing my father.’

She turned her head to look at the curve of his jaw, watching the muscles tense while he talked.

‘Despite being his only legitimate heir, I’ve never had the best relationship with my father, and the day he handed my mother to Advisor Gudren ruined everything between us.

I’ve never felt rage like that before.

Like it came from somewhere beyond me, the marrow of the earth.

’ He inhaled, and her head rose with the movement.

‘Lonn took me to the border not long after to get away. I hadn’t returned to Cailoch until the treaty was negotiated.

’ He laughed quietly, a breathy, sad sound.

She let the truth of his words wash over her, unable to fathom the despair he must have felt.

‘Does Lonn know you’re Ever Blessed?

’

Fyn shook his head.

‘No. As much as Lonn is the closest thing I have to a friend, he’s devout.

I don’t think our relationship would survive if he knew.

’

She brought her free hand up and threaded her fingers through his, squeezing gently.

‘Truth or lie?’ she asked.

‘Lie.’

She spoke before she could second guess herself.

‘I miss being Captain of the Warriors.’

His hands stopped trailing her skin and she looked at the roof of the tent, not wanting to see the expression on his face.

His words were gentle when he asked, ‘Why?’

‘Before the massacre last year, Neve stayed behind while I took the rest of the warriors to where my intel suggested. We’d had a fight about the location of the ambush, and when my unit successfully intercepted Clochain forces I felt vindicated.

’ She loosened a breath and closed her eyes as images of the three-pronged star and Neve’s bloody corpse flashed in her mind.

‘Neve was always spouting harebrained schemes. She listened to the rumour mill as if it were gospel, and I didn’t believe her intel.

When I returned and saw she’d been right, that a second ambush was at play, I was wracked with guilt.

It happened on my watch, my orders.

If I’d held my ground and ordered her to come with me she would still be alive.

But I just couldn’t be bothered dealing with her incessant arguing, so I relented and let her stay.

Her death is on me.

’

‘You couldn’t have known,’ he said as his hand began tracing circles again.

His words made her want to cry.

‘Maybe. But I don’t miss being responsible for the people I love.

’

Fyn pushed himself up, forcing her eyeline to shift.

His gaze was a lure that trapped her, held her in space so she couldn’t squirm away from the shame.

‘Her death wasn’t your fault, Elva.

I think everyone but you can see that.

’

Tears pricked her eyes, dripping wet tracks down her cheeks.

He wiped a gentle finger across her damp skin.

‘Do you know why my father chose you over Myrra for the treaty?’

She shook her head.

‘It was because your name was spoken with reverence. Hell, even our spies seemed to be enamoured with you. Your outnumbered warriors single-handedly stopped the largest organised attempts to take the Seedle Plains that Clochain has amassed in years, attempts I co-signed.’ He chuckled, disbelief and awe warring in his tone.

‘Myrra would have been a strategic political bet, but you? My father wanted to rip the heart out of the warriors.’

‘Why are you telling me this?’ she asked quietly, unable to look away from the galaxy in his eyes.

‘Because he was short-sighted. He thought buckling the warriors would make for a tactical advantage, but he underestimated you.’

She opened her mouth to protest, but Fyn wasn’t finished.

‘You have an ability to cut through the bullshit, Elva, and make people see what really matters. That is an incredibly dangerous skill to oppose when unrest is growing in Cailoch.’

She felt light and heavy all at the same time, as if she were floating on salted seas.

‘What matters to you, Fyn?’ she asked quietly.

He tilted his head back and smiled, his eyes crinkling.

‘So many things. I want to be someone who stands up for what is right. Someone who leaves the world better than when I arrived. But more than all of that?’ He ran a hand through her hair, smoothing the unruly flyaways.

‘I want to be someone you think is worth fighting for.’

Her lips parted in surprise and he met her gaze, a slow smile lighting his features.

It was a full, genuine grin that had the flecks of brown in his eyes deepening, the apples of his cheeks blooming a gorgeous, dusky rose.

He brought his hand to the back of her neck and gently tugged her close, brushing his lips over her brow, her wet cheeks.

Her eyelids fluttered closed as two soft kisses grazed her lashes.

A moment of pure tranquillity, as if bestowed by Premil himself.

‘Truth or lie?’ Fyn’s voice seeped through the cracks his words had made, melting into the essence of her being.

‘Lie,’ she whispered, opening her eyes to see his lips curl skywards, eyes burning in the dark as his fingers continued tracing her skin, teasing.

‘I would never have chosen you.’

Her breath caught and then his lips met hers in a crush.

She groaned into his mouth and a deep growl escaped him, reverberating through the tent in a claiming.

Elva didn’t know what was happening to her, what the flood of emotions pumping through her veins meant.

The sense of hindsight she’d had the other night came crashing back and her vision swam with flecks of silver.

True.

This was true.