Page 18

CHAPTER 18

Elva fought the urge to squirm in her saddle as her mare navigated the incline.

She loved riding, but weeks without had left her muscles soft, and every time the horse jolted she wanted to groan.

They’d been travelling for two days up the Arden Mountains, towards the location of the third ceremony.

The higher they climbed, the less verdant their surroundings became.

She couldn’t help but think the empty branches and lack of animals weren’t just the mark of a long winter.

Despite these signs, Elva was the most relaxed she’d felt since leaving Vettona.

Being outdoors was a reprieve from the endless wedding preparations and, if she closed her eyes and listened to the thumping of hooves, she could almost imagine her warriors with her on patrol.

Avi yawned loudly next to her.

They’d taken to riding together at the back of the procession, which Fyn seemed content with as he rode at the front.

He’d been avoiding her since the incident.

It was an absolute cluster of unforeseen trouble, and she had more questions now than ever before.

As soon as they spoke there would be no turning back, so she willingly prolonged this period of naivety in the hope that it would extend her peace.

Oriann rode with a handful of other ladies of the court in an ornate carriage.

She’d protested when Elva had climbed on a horse, but Advisor Gudren hadn’t made an appearance, rendering Oriann’s hesitations null.

Away from the pious formality of the castle, she felt as if she were shedding old skin.

‘It’s colder than I thought it would be,’ she said, breaking the silence between herself and Avi.

The Vettonian border was situated on the other side of the range, easily defendable by glacial rivers and a large port, but in general the weather there was temperate.

‘This side of the Arden Mountains is mostly snow and rivers,’ Avi said.

‘Did you spend much time in Anfa?’

She sighed, unsure how she should even begin answering.

She’d spent most of her adult life there.

It was where she’d met Kella; where she and Remi had first got together.

It was where Neve had died.

She met Avi’s gaze and cracked a small, sad smile.

‘Yeah.’

‘Shit, I’m sorry, that was a bad question to ask you.

Of course the Captain of the Vettonian Warriors has spent time in Anfa,’ he said with a groan, and she snorted, waving off his apology.

‘The Vettonian Warriors are on constant rotation there, and whenever Clochain forces advance I’m usually – was usually – leading the defence.

It’s weird to be coming from this side.

’

He nodded, and in a quiet voice asked, ‘Were you at the massacre?’

Elva closed her eyes and pushed the memory of Neve’s bloody face out of her head.

She had spent so long trying to forget the twisted corpse of her friend, how angry she’d been at herself, Clochain, the gods – everyone.

She tried not to think too hard about the fact that she was now travelling to the border she’d spent years fighting to protect.

There was a part of her which despised knowing she was walking among the soldiers who had killed her people, but that part of her was tiny compared to the pit of self-loathing screaming to be let out.

She gripped the axe hanging at her side for comfort.

‘Yes, I was there.’

Avi let the silence between them rest until the tidal wave of feelings passed.

‘Were you?’ she finally asked.

‘No, I was stationed in Cailoch.’

She met his gaze.

‘I’m glad.

It was not an experience I’d wish on anyone.

’

‘Prince Fynton wasn’t there either,’ Avi said after a moment of silence.

She didn’t know why hearing these words helped ease the pit in her stomach, but it did.

‘It was around that time he came across the murmur of sylphs, and his mother met her Ending,’ he continued.

She and Avi lapsed back into comfortable silence, and she wrapped her cloak a little tighter around herself.

It was strange to think both she and Fyn had experienced a grave loss at the same time.

Another tether that bound them.

Perhaps that was the connection Mystic Agnes had referred to?

Her mind puzzled over the threads of similarity.

Both captains.

Both Ever Blessed.

Fyn knew her secret, and she his.

.

.

It was terrifying and exhilarating.

Someone knew her secret, and she had not met her Ending.

Yet.

But that tiny sliver of possibility was intoxicating.

And away from Advisor Gudren’s incessant probing, she could feel his looming influence start to fade.

She was a warrior, not some hapless Clochain maiden.

When had she lost her nerve?

The treaty hinged on them passing the ceremonies, not on whether she was compliant.

The third ceremony wasn’t a guarantee.

If she was going to meet her Ending then she wanted to do it as herself, not the scared, trussed-up princess the advisor was so good at conjuring.

Perhaps it was the mountain air, or perhaps it was the proximity to her homeland, but there was no denying that the further they rode, the fear that had been keeping her docile was starting to ebb.

‘What are you doing?’

Elva spun, her hands curling into fists before she recognised the voice to be Avi’s.

She stood in a small gap between carriages, her view of the makeshift camp blocked by the wooden doors, which she had propped open to try and obscure herself.

‘Nothing.’

Avi raised his brows.

‘Does it matter?’ she asked.

‘I don’t know, does it?

’

She rubbed her forehead, smudging beads of sweat that had collected on her skin.

She didn’t think Avi would care that she’d been going through the Vettonian fighting flow, but there was still a small part of her that was scared to be honest.

I think you should trust him , the ghostly echo of Neve whispered.

He’s cute.

And if he turns you over to Advisor Gudren, you can always kill him.

Elva pondered Neve’s advice.

She knew it was a sign of her desperation – or was it her newfound freedom?

– that she was seriously considering words from her dead friend’s memory.

But she also knew Neve was an excellent judge of character.

It was Neve who had scouted Remi for the warriors.

Neve who had rescued Kella from an underground fighting ring.

Hell, Neve had saved her from a life of politicking.

Maybe the ghost has a point.

Elva loosened a breath and stared at Avi, taking in his furrowed brow, his pursed lips.

Do it .

‘I was training.’

She stared at Avi, assessing his expression.

When he didn’t flinch, she ploughed on.

‘And I need a partner to spar with. You up for the challenge?’

The silence between them stretched, and the furrow between his brows deepened.

Regret flashed, and she was about to curse at herself for listening to her dead friend – when he beamed.

‘Okay.’

She blinked.

Avi chuckled as he shrugged off his jacket, ‘I’ve always wondered what made the warriors so formidable.

Let’s see what you’ve got, Cap.

’

Excitement fizzed over her skin and she stepped back, making room for him in the little nook between the carriages.

‘Avi? I thought I saw you...’ Oriann said as she stepped around the carriage, her gaze bouncing from Elva to Avi and back again.

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude—’

‘Don’t worry about it,’ Elva said, pulling Oriann behind the carriage doors before anyone else could see them.

Great hiding spot , Neve drawled.

She faced the two people she wanted to trust.

May as well go all in.

‘I’m actually glad you’re here, Oriann.

’ Her heart beat in a driving thump, but for the first time in weeks the cause was excitement, and surety laced her next words.

‘Avi and I were about to start training. Would you like to join us?’

The pulse in her knowing confirmed Oriann’s answer before a wolfish grin spread across her face.

Elva felt her own lips curl to match.

I’ve missed this.

‘Again,’ Elva commanded, watching Oriann stumble through the flow.

Her footwork was better than expected, but her stamina was weak and she tended to rush the movements.

She still had a long way to go before Elva would let her anywhere near a blade.

Avi was practising the flow near the end of a carriage, having picked up the movement much faster than Oriann.

‘You’re putting too much weight on your toes, balance through all four corners of your foot,’ Elva instructed.

Oriann frowned.

‘My feet don’t have four corners,’ she said, leg wobbling as she gritted her teeth in concentration.

‘Imagine they do.’ Elva pushed her gently with a finger, sending Oriann sprawling.

‘If you centred your weight you wouldn’t have fallen.

’

Oriann stood and tried to jump back into the stance, but her leg trembled so much she sighed and flopped on the ground in protest.

‘I wanted to learn how to throw knives, not balance on one foot.’

‘Knives come later, when you know how to control your flailing limbs.’ Elva snickered as she dodged a twig Oriann chucked at her.

‘Babies need to crawl before they stand,’ Avi agreed, finishing his flow set.

Oriann smiled sweetly, then gave him the finger.

Elva snorted, but she ignored their banter and forged on, feeling like she was back with the warriors once more.

‘You have the drive, we just need to get your stamina and core strength up, and then you’ll be flinging my axe around like it’s nothing.

’

Oriann rolled her eyes, but a smile tugged at her lips, which broadened to a full grin when Avi crouched beside her to stretch.

Elva rolled her shoulders and stood.

They’d need to head back to camp soon; but she hesitated, her gaze bouncing between Oriann and Avi with fondness, their soft laughter blending into the noise of the forest.

Even the ghost of Neve was quiet, content with her meddling.

It had only been two days since she’d asked them to train with her, but something about being on the road made time stretch in languid patterns, and she could have sworn they’d been doing this for months.

Elva took a breath and tipped her head back, letting the serenity wash through her.

The sky was a milky blue and the mist of the morning created a haze around them, softening.

It was a perfect respite.

One that ended too soon.

Elva felt eyes on her as soon as they left the shadow of the carriages, and she stopped and scanned the campsite.

Soldiers streamed around them, but one figure didn’t move.

As soon as she met Fyn’s gaze a shiver racked her body, and he beckoned her over.

Godsdamn it, can’t I enjoy one moment of peace before confronting the secret that might End us?

‘Don’t wait for me,’ she called to Avi, waving off his worried expression when she pointed to Fyn.

Then she sucked in a breath, straightened her shoulders, and strode over to him.

‘Morning,’ she said when he was in earshot.

‘How’d you sleep?

’

‘Fine.’

She rolled her eyes.

Not even his sleep-tousled hair could fool her into thinking his monosyllabic antics were intriguing.

‘Bye, Fyn.’

He grabbed her arm, his gloved hand wrapping around her sleeve with a soft yank.

She stared at him, too surprised to say anything.

‘You can’t tell anyone.

’

She frowned, glancing around them to make sure no one was listening, and took a step closer.

‘No shit.’ Of course she couldn’t tell anyone.

Her whole life had been a lesson in looking the other way when she sensed people wielding Ever.

She wasn’t an Ellarch loyalist, but her existence actively went against the Seacht’s doctrine.

‘But if you don’t get a handle on the thing , we’re both going to be in deep trouble.

The dead kind of deep trouble.

’

He frowned and the crease between his eyebrows deepened.

She had a violent urge to poke it, then smooth it out with a long stroke of her finger.

‘Yeah? What about your thing , huh?’

Blood thrummed in her ears as she feigned innocence.

‘What thing?’

‘Don’t bullshit me, Elva.

When you grabbed me, I felt.

.

.

’ He looked around, making sure they were alone.

‘I felt it in you, too.’

The noise of the campsite faded and all she could hear was her heartbeat and Fyn’s rasping breath, a foggy plume between them.

She tried to school her expression but she knew she was doing a bad job of it.

She could hear Neve’s voice yelling at her to pull it together.

But she couldn’t.

Because Fyn knew she had Ever.

And rather than terror, she felt relief.

‘How did you learn to control it?’ His voice was low, but his expression was uncharacteristically open.

‘I didn’t,’ she said, loathing that while it was the truth, it was also deeply unhelpful.

‘My... thing only flashes when someone else is wielding magic around me. I don’t actually have the capacity to wield it, just the ability to tell if someone nearby is.

’

Fyn ran a hand through his hair and she noted the circles under his eyes, the stubble that dusted his cheeks.

‘Have you felt it around me before?’ he asked, worry clouding his features.

She wracked her brain, before slowly shaking her head.

‘I don’t think so?

I feel a tug, but that’s as if my Ever is trying to escape rather than you.

.

.

you know, wielding it.

’

He grunted and ran a hand through his hair again, adding to his dishevelled appearance.

‘How often are you losing control?’ she asked quietly, aware of the soldiers that moved around them, packing up camp.

‘It started a year ago, but the outbursts have increased in frequency recently.’

Elva let out a breath, unsure what she could say to help him.

So, she said what she knew to be true: ‘That’s fucked.

’

He laughed, the sound rich and honeyed, which was so surprising Elva found herself smiling in response.

‘It is. For a while I thought I was going mad, and then I thought I might be dying,’ he said.

She swallowed her surprise at this admission.

Never would she have thought their first civilised conversation would be about how they were both Ever Blessed and hiding their blasphemy from the Seacht.

‘How have you kept it hidden?’

‘I usually stay away from Cailoch. And Advisor Gudren can’t detect other people’s Ever.

’

A whistle sounded in the distance and the flurry of activity in the camp intensified, making it hard to continue their conversation.

‘Can we—’ Fyn glanced around them and took a step closer.

‘Can we talk about this later?’

She nodded, unsure how discovering they were both wanted by the Seacht was suddenly bringing them together, but open to the opportunity nonetheless.

She knew better than most that a disadvantage was merely a matter of perspective.