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22

CHARLOTTE

NOAH

Me

Fun Fact: There are around 80 Lego bricks for every person on earth

I sigh, staring at the phone as I’m snuggled in my tiny bed. Noah had to clear his cabin since he wasn’t returning, so no more sprawling for me.

The room is dark and quiet. Andi’s been asleep for hours, so it’s just me, my thoughts, and this unanswered message. I sent it around lunch time, and I know Noah’s busy, but I thought he’d at least text me before bed. Especially because of his cute obsession with Legos.

Maybe this really was all for show.

At the gala, I thought we were starting to have something real, but maybe he’s a professor of Faking It too. Tossing my phone next to me, I force my eyes shut, opting to dream about him instead.

I awake in the morning to a text.

Noah

Apparently I’ve got enough for half the population of CBU

Staring down at the message, I ponder if I should text back immediately. Wouldn’t want to seem desperate. Desperate or confident?

Me

Thought you’d like it

Noah

Have a good day, soffione

Me

You too quarterback

A week has passed since Noah left camp, and our routine is the same. Minimal surface-level texting, and both of us too exhausted to hold a conversation at night. I knew our arrangement wasn’t going to last forever. I just didn’t expect it to end so abruptly.

He doesn’t owe me anything. He’s not my boyfriend.

And yet, I still try

Me

How was training today?

Noah

Hot and exhausting

Kinda like you

Me

I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment

Noah

You should

I bite my cheek, opting to be brave, and click call. The phone rings once, then goes to voicemail.

Noah

Sorry, I’m heading into dinner with some of the guys. Rain check?

It’s official. I’m no longer a priority.

Me

Sure. Rain check

Another week passes with the same routine. Today I got a good morning text, but besides that I haven’t heard from him.

“You okay over there?” Andi asks, concerned eyes on me as we change into comfy clothes after dinner.

“Yes,” I tell her, taking the big blue bow out of my hair. “Are you? ” I ask with a cocked brow. “You’ve been acting strange ever since we got back from the gala.”

“Same with you,” she challenges, and I roll my eyes. She grabs a swimsuit out of her drawer. “I’m going to meet Theo and a few girls for a lake swim. Wanna join?”

I glance at my bed. My little lonely bed. “Nah, I’m good.”

“Seriously? You need to get out.”

“I’m exhausted,” I say, and while that technically is true, it’s not why I want to stay in.

“We’ll be by the dock if you change your mind.” She shoots me a wave and is out the door.

Blowing a breath, I jump into bed, picking up my phone. My lips quirk into a smile at the message on the screen.

Noah

Did you know giraffe tongues can be up to 20 inches long?

I consider how to reply. We’ve been doing this boring little check-in texting banter for weeks, but every time my mind wanders to those sex lessons, I’m aching for release.

Me

No, but now I’m a little turned on

Noah

Great, and now I’m thinking about other tongues in certain places

Good. This is good.

Me

You’re the one who mentioned the tongue thing

Noah

It was the fun fact of the day

Me

Well the fact is, I could really use some fun

Noah

Not a good day?

Char?

My phone buzzes in my hand, the red button begging to be touched. Just like me. I roll my eyes at myself. Stop being so desperate. Or am I flirting? The temptation of hearing Noah’s voice is too much to resist, and I tap green instead.

“Hi,” I say to his smiling face popping up on FaceTime.

“Hi,” he replies. “What are you up to?”

I roll on my side, the cabin bed squeaking. “Just chilling.”

“Chilling.” He nods his head. “Are you alone?”

“Yeah, Andi went swimming.”

“You didn’t want to go?”

“Not really.”

“Why?”

Because I had a terrible day. Fell on my ass twice. Threw up in the bushes. All but cried when I found your T-shirt in my drawer because it’s been two weeks since I got to kiss your stupid face even though I know we were faking it. Oh, and all I can think of every time I close my eyes is your hands on my skin and you whispering my name like a prayer. “Just tired.”

“Charlotte,” he says, tone accusatory.

“Noahhh.”

“What’s wrong?”

I shake my head, fighting tears. Why are there tears? “Everything’s fine.”

“Is that what we’re doing now? Lying to each other?”

“I’m not—” My voice cracks, and I clear my throat. “I’m not lying.”

“Please, talk to me.”

Thoughts of all the hard days of work he’s been putting in and the opportunity of a lifetime he has right now in Tampa fill my mind. He doesn’t need distractions. He doesn’t need me . “Nothing.”

Another message pops in and I groan.

THE BENSON FAM

MOTHER

Will you make it for the twins’ birthday party Saturday?

“What’s wrong?” Noah asks.

I opt to use this as the out for my unexplained shitty attitude. “Just Mom trying to rub it in that I can’t go to the twins’ birthday party this weekend.”

“Why can’t you go? Doesn’t camp end Friday?”

“Yeah,” I say. “And Andi is heading straight back to campus after our physicals, so I don’t have a ride.”

“I always hated those things,” Noah says, shuddering. “The needles and weighing and prodding.”

“I know,” I say with a laugh, remembering the judgy nurse from last year who told me I needed to lose a few pounds if I want to keep being a flyer. Unfortunately the school requires it for us to be cleared for the team.

“Do you know anyone else at camp from Longwood who could bring you?” Noah asks.

“Well…” I shift on the bed, remembering how I got home last year. “Jonathan.”

He laughs sarcastically. “No.”

“No?” I say with a cocked brow. Not that I had even a minuscule intention of considering the option.

“Yeah.” He smiles. “No. I’ll take you.”

“Doesn’t one of your new teammates have some big Fourth of July party thing this weekend?”

“So?” His brows pull together. “I’d rather see you.”

He would?

“You don’t have to?—”

“Yes, I do,” he says. “And besides, I want to go. In fact, I’m a little offended I wasn’t invited.”

I fight a smile. “Yeah, because birthday parties with screaming children are sooo your vibe.”

“If you’re there, it’s my vibe,” he says, and a blush creeps on my cheeks, all negative thoughts shoved into the “you’re such an overthinker, girly” category.

“Okay, then thanks,” I say. “So you’ll pick me up Saturday morning from camp?”

“It’s a date.”

It’s a date.

* * *

“Thank god,” I say, folding a shirt and putting it in my duffle. “Only one more day of camp food and low water pressure.”

“Why do you think I’m leaving tonight?” Andi says, pulling the sheet off her bed.

“Because you’re cruel,” I say, grabbing another shirt out of the drawer. I want to make sure I’m ready when Noah arrives tomorrow.

“What time is your physical?” Andi asks.

“Eleven thirty, you?”

“Eleven. Wanna walk together?”

I check the time on my phone. “Sure, but we should get going.”

A quick walk later, and we’re striding into the gymnasium housing the medical facility. The roof is high, and even on the last day, the weight floor is packed full of cheerleaders and football players getting in one final workout.

We arrive at the medical station and check in. A short questionnaire later, and we’re sitting in the waiting area.

“Andrea Lyons,” a nurse calls, and Andi shoots me a wave, disappearing into the back.

Twenty minutes pass, the time ticking like molasses in an hourglass. I check my phone but haven’t gotten any new notifications besides a good morning fun fact from Noah.

“Charlie.” The hair on the back of my neck stands, and I glance up to find Jonathan standing before me.

“What are you doing here?” I ask stupidly.

“Just finished my exam,” he says, pointing back towards the doors Andi disappeared through.

“Right,” I say, standing. Because somehow sitting makes me feel inferior to him, and I won’t allow that. “What do you want?”

“I’m heading out today,” he says.

“Okay… and?”

He blows out a breath. “I wanted to apologize.”

I fold my arms over my chest. “Whatever for?”

He looks down then back into my eyes. My skin crawls from his direct attention. The last time he stared into my eyes like this, he was sliding into me and whispering how much he loved me.

What a crock of shit.

Jonathan swallows hard. “Just for everything that happened.”

Generic and meaningless. I’m so ready to be done with this conversation.

“Great,” I say, jaw grinding. “You’re forgiven.”

“Really?” he asks, ignoring the bite in my tone. “We good then?”

“Yep,” I say, forcing a smile. Walk away, fuck boy. “We’re good.”

“Bye, Charlie.”

He leaves the room, and I turn around to find Andi glaring at me. “What the hell was that?”

I release a heavy breath, sinking back in the waiting room chair, and Andi sits beside me. “Can we not do this?”

“That guy blew up your life, and you’re, what, giving him a free pass?”

“God, no,” I say. “But I didn’t want to even entertain the conversation. And honestly, if Jonathan didn’t do what he did, we would still be together, and I wouldn’t have Noah. Or be faking it with Noah. Or whatever we’re doing. Because I’m the loyal one. The ‘never gives up’ one. And I never would’ve given up on him.”

Andi stares at the door Jonathan walked out of, then turns to face me. “We should be egging his car, leaving flaming shit bags at his doorstep, putting permanent blue dye in his shampoo, Big-Fat-Liar -style, not forgiving him! What kinda bullshit logic is that?”

I shrug.

“Charlotte Benson,” the nurse calls, and I pop up, glad to be done with this conversation too.

I want to move on.

Hate is a poison that spreads slowly, killing you from the inside out. Forgiveness is the antidote. I did it for me.