Page 12

CHAPTER 12

Alice stared across the bathroom with wide eyes. Her back was pressed against the door, and her chest rose and fell with quick, shallow breaths. She could almost feel Shadow on the other side of the door. The warmth left by his fingers brushing over her back lingered, and, for a moment, she wished he’d come through that door to pursue her, to touch her again, to follow his hands with his lips and tongue…

So why had she just run from him?

Because I’m confused and scared .

She was scared of his intensity, scared of what he made her feel, scared of what would become of them, just… scared .

But God, I want him.

It would have been so easy to have just turned around and embraced him, kissed him, welcomed him into her body.

He’s an alien! He has cat ears, claws, a tail, and ? —

Oh, who was she kidding? She didn’t care about any of that. Interspecies relationships were common all over the place, and though she’d never been in one, she found his differences even more intriguing.

He’s utterly insane!

Even that didn’t matter. She knew that, beneath the surface, he was a broken man.

He’s dangerous, unpredictable.

She still wanted him. Her body trembled with need, and her thighs were slick with desire. His slightest touch had aroused her so swiftly.

He’d never hurt me.

Why was she fighting this? Why was she resisting? What did it matter that she didn’t know him? This place, this simulation, wasn’t real. Anything she did in here, with him, wouldn’t matter in reality. Why deny herself? No one would know. She could take what she wanted, submit to him, enjoy herself.

Play the game.

Could she?

And even if it was real…

I’d want him anyway.

Taking in a deep breath, she turned and pressed her ear against the door. No sounds came from the other side.

She slowly eased away from the door and approached the counter. She looked in the mirror; the reflection that greeted her made her cringe. There were dark smudges under her eyes, remnants of the makeup Shadow had wiped away, and her skin was too pale. Her hair was a mess, tangled and matted, full of leaves and grass, she was smeared with dirt, and there was dried blue blood on her chin and cheeks.

For a moment, she stared at the blood, tears welling in her eyes. The horror of Jor’calla’s death clawed at the edges of her consciousness, but she pushed it away. Her mind couldn’t handle that now. Not again, not yet. It had been all too real.

Reaching up, she removed the choker from around her neck—it looked too much like a collar to her, now that she wasn’t drug-addled—and tossed it away before plucking bits of debris from her hair. She let pieces of grass and leaves fall to the floor. Once most of the debris had been removed, she picked up a comb from the counter and used it to get rid of the worst of the snarls in her hair.

When she was done, she set the comb down and turned toward the shower. Lowering her arms, she let the unfastened dress fall to the floor, stepped out of it, and nudged it aside. She pulled open the shower’s glass door.

The shower, like everything in Miraxis’s house, was startlingly clean, but more than that, it was…simple—or maybe old-fashioned was the better term. The interior of his home seemed like it would’ve fit perfectly in the real world—more than a hundred years ago. There were electric lights, but many of the fixtures appeared terribly outdated compared to what Alice was used to, and the single showerhead and its solitary control handle, both made of what appeared to be polished brass, struck her as odd.

There were no control panels, sensors, or additional nozzles on the walls and ceiling like every other shower she’d used.

She turned the handle. Water sprayed from the showerhead in a wide cone. The water was instantly just the right temperature—soothing, but not painfully, hot—and wisps of steam curled into the air. Alice stepped into the shower and pulled the door closed.

Hot water sluiced over her body, carrying away the dirt from her travels. She moaned and closed her eyes, holding her face in the water before turning and letting it run through her hair.

Alice took her time, relishing the heat as she scrubbed her hair and body clean using the soaps and shampoos arranged on the little ledge inside the shower. Once she’d rinsed the lather away, she washed again—just because it felt good to be warm and clean.

When she was done, she stepped out onto the mat on the floor, plucked a perfectly folded towel from the shelf, and ran it over her body, soaking up as much water as possible before tipping her head to the side to dry her hair.

She dropped the towel on the floor and grabbed a fresh one, wrapping it around her body. She paused to stare down at her dress. The stains soiling it were only more pronounced against the pristine white floor tiles; she couldn’t bring herself to put it back on in its current state. She’d just have to steal some of Miraxis’s clothes.

She didn’t feel the slightest bit guilty about that.

Facing the mirror, Alice studied her reflection again. Her skin had a healthier flush to it. She felt…normal. She looked normal—like she’d just stepped out of the shower, relaxed and refreshed, after a long day. She picked up the comb and ran it through her hair until it was tangle free before setting it back down.

She adjusted the towel around her body—keeping one hand clasped securely at the top—moved to the door, opened it, and stepped into the bedroom.

Alice froze.

Shadow lay atop the bed, leaning on one elbow with his head on his palm. His hair was darker than usual, hanging around his head in damp locks, and he was free of the dirt and muck he had accumulated during their journey. His legs were both bent; one was curled so his foot was behind him, the other so his knee was raised in the air. He wore wicked grin, and his teal eyes burned with lustful heat.

But none of that was what had given her pause.

Shadow was completely naked but for a towel—small enough that it might’ve been a hand towel—draped over his crotch. The cloth did nothing to hide the bulge of his erection.

“Perfect timing, Alice. I was just getting ready to relax.”

“Relax?” she asked dumbly, unable to tear her eyes away from him.

Though he was taller and longer of limb than any man she’d ever met, Shadow was built like a human. His lean muscles were well-toned beneath that velvety gray skin.

“Well, to be honest, I had no intention of relaxing now .” A low, rumbling purr underscored his words. “That can come after .”

“After?” She stared at his groin. Had the cloth twitched ? Was the outline getting… bigger ? Her sex clenched, and she shifted on her feet, squeezing her thighs together as heat pooled between them.

Shadow’s grin widened, and he drew in a slow, deep breath. “Mmm. I don’t think I will ever tire of that scent.”

Her eyes flew to meet his.

He held her gaze until she blinked. When she opened her eyes again, he was gone. Only the towel remained on the bed.

“There’s no need to be so flustered,” Shadow said from behind her.

Alice started, but his hands—so soft and yet so strong—settled over her shoulders before she could move away. His hair brushed against her ear as he leaned forward, and when he pressed his body against hers, she felt his hard cock press along her spine. Something lazily stroked her calf; she glanced down to see his tail brushing her pale skin.

“You have no reason to fear me,” he whispered in her ear, his hands slowly sliding down toward her elbows. “I would never hurt you. I just want to make you feel good. Don’t you want to feel good, sweet Alice?”

Yes.

Desire curled low in her belly. Her nipples hardened against the towel, and her breasts felt heavy and achy—just because of his nearness, his voice. His touch sent ripples of excitement through her. Alice turned her face toward him, lips parting with her gentle pants as her attention fell on his mouth. It was so close, so tempting.

Play the game.

She lifted her eyes to his, which were half-lidded but glowing brighter than she’d ever seen.

Shadow trailed his hands over her elbows and down her sides, brushing them past her hips before settling them on her bare thighs—mere inches from the bottom of the towel. His fingers crept back up slowly, his claws teasing her flesh, and Alice shivered; goosebumps rose on her skin.

For an instant, his fingertips slipped beneath the towel, but they slid back out again as his palms continued up over the fabric. The upward trek of his hands had her suddenly desperate to have the towel torn away, eliminating the barrier between them. She needed to feel his warm palms on her breasts.

“Shadow,” she breathed.

“Alice,” he replied just as breathlessly. As his hands neared her underarms, he shifted them to her front. They rasped over her breasts; the friction caused by his palms pressing the towel against her nipples almost made her gasp.

He covered her left hand—which was clutching the towel in place—with his, while the fingers of his right hand curled under the towel’s upper edge. “You can let go with me, Alice. You don’t have to worry. Don’t have to hide.”

Alice tightened her fingers around the towel. Her heart raced in anticipation and anxiousness.

This isn’t real.

So what? Whether it was physically real or not, this moment would never happen again. She might never share anything like this with Shadow again.

And she wanted all these moments with him; they would be the shining light in the darkness, the glimmer of hope that carried her through this ordeal. Something to look back on with fondness when she escaped this place and returned to her comfortable, mundane life.

Even if none of this was real, it was the most excitement she’d ever had.

Alice released the towel.

Shadow drew it aside. The fabric brushed over her sensitive nipples as it moved, and when he let go, it slid down her side, caressing the bare flesh of her hip, thigh, and backside before pooling at her feet. He moved his hands to her waist and pulled her against him. His skin was soft over his lean, solid muscle, and his erection blazed like a brand against her back, throbbing faintly.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her neck. Alice shivered. She tilted her head and closed her eyes as tingles spread across her flesh from the spot where his mouth was touching her. Shadow’s lips seared a slow path down her neck toward her shoulder, and he ran his hands up over her stomach to the undersides of her breasts. Cupping her breasts in his palms, he kneaded and caressed them, brushing his thumbs over her taut nipples before pinching them.

Explosive currents raced through Alice. She gasped, covering his hands with hers and squeezing them as she pressed her thighs together in the hopes of alleviating the pulsing emptiness at her core.

It didn’t help; all it did was make her more aware of the slick evidence of her desire, more aware of that hollow, aching need .

“Don’t be afraid of what you feel,” he whispered, his breath hot against her neck, as his deft fingers teased her nipples. “Don’t fight it.”

“I’m not.” She turned in his embrace. “Not anymore.” She met his gaze briefly before she closed her eyes, looped her arms around his neck, and pressed her mouth to his.

She had only ever kissed two other men in her life, neither of whom had been able to steal her breath with a single touch, neither of whom had set her body aflame merely by looking at her.

Shadow returned the kiss. His tongue slipped across the seam of her lips, demanding entry, as his hands dropped to cup her backside and draw her pelvis against him. He made a low, satisfied rumbling sound in his chest. It vibrated like a purr, stimulating her nipples, which were now pressed against him.

Alice made a small sound—something between a moan and a whimper—and parted her lips. His long, rough tongue delved between them. He explored the recesses of her mouth and stroked her tongue, coaxing it to dance with his. She shivered with delight. His mouth was firm, demanding, and divine; she didn’t want this to end. Currents of pleasure coursed through her, heightening her need.

Without breaking the kiss, he lowered his hands to her thighs and lifted her, palms sliding to her knees as he did so. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist. The new position pressed her open sex to his cock; it glided along her folds and stroked her clit, and she gasped against his mouth, moving her hands up to grasp his hair. When he walked forward, his stride intensified the sweet friction at her core.

A shudder wracked him, and he squeezed her legs with his strong fingers. The points of his claws pressed against her flesh, but she wasn’t afraid; she was eager to feel more. Those tiny pricks of pain only stoked the flames of her desire.

He finally broke the kiss as he laid her on the bed. Alice’s lashes fluttered, and she opened her eyes, looking up to meet his half-lidded gaze. For a moment, he lingered over Alice, panting, braced with his arms on either side of her.

Lips parted with her ragged breaths, she loosened her grip on him and smoothed her palms over his shoulders and arms, memorizing the feel and texture of the muscles beneath.

In this quiet moment, everything felt right —like this was meant to be, like they’d been destined to meet and come together here. There was no reality, no simulation, no other places or people, only Alice and Shadow, drawn together by their attraction and something more, something indefinable.

When he lowered his head, he pressed slow kisses along her jaw and down her neck, pausing at her chest to suck her nipple between his lips and flick it with his tongue. The roughness of his tongue rasping over the taut bud sent a pleasurable shock through her. Alice grasped his upper arms and tilted her head back with a moan. He lavished her other nipple before continuing down her body, trailing kisses as he moved. He crawled backward as his lips caressed lower, sliding his arms out of her hold, until he was kneeling on the floor at the foot of the bed.

She sat up on her elbows and looked down at Shadow, her stomach quivering as his tongue flicked her belly button. Hunger burned in his eyes. He held her gaze, lips curving upward in a wicked grin as he settled his hands on the tops of her knees and spread her legs wide.

Alice’s heart leapt, and she grabbed fistfuls of the bedding. She couldn’t deny her excitement despite how exposed and vulnerable she felt.

Shadow slid his tongue down her lower belly and over the short hair on her pelvis, stopping just before he reached her sex. “It feels like I’ve waited an eternity for this taste. Are you as hungry for this as I am?”

Alice’s core clenched at his words, and his warm breath against her slick flesh flooded her with a fresh wave of heat.

“Yes,” she rasped.

His grin widened. “Good, because I’m cashing in my token either way.”

Lowering his head, he extended his long tongue, pressing its tip to the entrance of her sex, and ran it upward until it flicked her clit. Alice’s breath hitched, and her pelvis rocked as she was jolted by pleasure. Her arms nearly gave out beneath her. It was unlike anything she’d ever felt before.

Shadow’s satisfied purr vibrated into her. “Oh, sweet, sweet Alice, I am never letting you go.”

He curled his fingers around her upper thighs, pinned her to the bed, and pressed his mouth fully against her sex. She wasn’t prepared for what followed—he devoured her with his lips and tongue, stroking, sucking, and lapping ravenously, and she yielded to her searing need.

She fell upon the bed, desperately clutching the blanket. Waves of powerful sensation blasted through her, but she needed more ; he seemed to dance around her clit, teasing it, bringing her close to the point of no return only to back away and leave her desperate for release over and over again. Perspiration beaded on her skin.

“Shadow, please,” she begged, attempting to undulate her hips, to grind herself against his mouth. Her entire body trembled with the need for release.

He made a sound that was half purr, half growl. “But I love the way you writhe. The way you taste .”

Shadow speared her sex with his tongue. Alice moaned and bore down, needing him deeper, but his grip on her thighs tightened, holding her still. The tip of his tongue curled against her G-spot, its rough surface rubbing her sensitive inner flesh relentlessly. A rush of pleasure flooded her, prickling along her limbs and making her toes curl.

But it wasn’t enough.

Alice reached down to touch her clit.

He caught her wrist in one of his long-fingered hands and lifted his head, withdrawing his tongue from her channel. Alice nearly cried at the sudden sense of loss.

“Mine,” he snapped, eyes blazing. Tossing her wrist away, he returned his hand to her hip, dropped his head between her legs, clamped his lips around her clit, and sucked hard.

White-hot pleasure burst through her. She came with a series of cries, and he didn’t stop her from thrashing and bucking her hips now—though he didn’t let her get away, either. Alice moved one of her hands to his head, curled her fingers into his hair, and pulled him closer to grind against his mouth as he ruthlessly licked, sucked, and nipped.

Her cries descended into a moan of ecstasy as liquid heat flowed from her core. Shadow groaned as he greedily licked up every drop.

As she came down from the peak of her bliss, Alice lay limp with eyes closed and breath ragged. She should’ve felt sated, should’ve felt satisfied after the orgasm that had ripped through her, but instead, she needed more—she needed to fill the emptiness inside her.

Shadow’s tongue shifted to her inner thighs, licking them clean before he placed a kiss upon the center of her sex. She twitched and forced her eyes open, looking at him down the length of her body.

Shadow lifted his face to meet her gaze, and his tongue trailed over his lips, licking away the glistening evidence of her slick and granting her a glimpse of his fangs. Her sex clenched at the sight. He released his hold on her, pressed his hands atop the bed, and curled his claws into the bedding as he pushed himself to his feet; his abdomen slid over her sex as he moved, followed swiftly by the slow, hot brush of his cock. Alice jumped.

She pushed herself up into a sitting position and ran her hand through her damp hair as her eyes skimmed down his torso, ultimately settling on his shaft. The outline she’d seen through his towel had only hinted at his size, offering no clue as to his appearance. His cock was long, thick, and ribbed , with ridges ringing it from its head all the way down to its base.

His erection twitched as she stared.

Alice’s gaze snapped back to his. Before she could speak, before she could react, he dove upon her, his arms slipping around her as his mouth captured hers in a heady, consuming kiss. She returned the kiss without hesitation. She tasted herself upon his lips, tasted him . She kissed him deeper as the flames within her blazed into an inferno.

He rolled onto his back, taking her along with him; before Alice knew it, Shadow was sitting up with her on his lap, her knees on either side of his legs and his shaft pressed along the cleft of her ass. His hands roamed over her back, and the light scrape of his claws left a thrilling sensation in their wake.

“I want you,” she rasped against his mouth.

“I need you,” he rasped against hers.

Alice broke the kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled herself up, and looked down. Shadow slipped a hand between their bodies, grasped his cock, and positioned it beneath her. She lowered herself until she felt its blunt head against her entrance. His other hand settled on her hip, his grip firm but inflicting no pain.

Shadow leaned his head forward, capturing her lips with his again, and pulled her down onto him. The head of his cock entered her smoothly, eased by her slick, but it quickly became a tight fit as more of his shaft slid in.

Alice squeezed her eyes shut, her brow furrowing in concentration as she panted against his mouth. Shadow groaned, settled both hands on her hips, and lifted her only to pull her down again, flexing his pelvis to press deeper. He repeated the action again and again, stretching her a little more —and forcing her to take in more of him—with each pump. She felt every ridge on his shaft as it stroked the inside of her channel.

When she’d taken nearly all of him into her body, Shadow tightened his grip on her hips and yanked her down the rest of the way, burying himself in her to the hilt.

Alice gasped and clung to him, pressing her face against his neck as she breathed raggedly. His scent—oakmoss and amber—filled her senses. Shadow’s palms smoothed over her sides and back, soothing her, as he brushed his nose in her hair. He didn’t move otherwise. She felt him, all of him, inside her, felt every pulse, every twitch. Her core tightened in response. The faint sting of her being stretched faded, and was replaced by that urgent need for more, by the need to move .

She rose on her knees, causing her sex to slide up along his shaft, and lowered herself again. A shiver ran through her.

“Alice,” Shadow hissed, his hands swiftly returning to her hips.

She moved again, lifting herself higher. This time they both moaned when she eased back down.

Tilting her head back, Alice met Shadow’s eyes. Desire burned in their depths, but it was paired with a lucidity that she hadn’t quite seen before. It was as though Shadow— all of Shadow—was there with her, like in these precious moments he was both the unstable, unpredictable being he showed this world and the broken man she’d glimpsed beneath the surface.

Like he was whole .

That was the Shadow who took control.

And she surrendered to him.

The feel of Alice’s tight, desire-slickened heat around Shadow’s cock was euphoric, divine, and intense—it was almost too much for him to bear. Yet despite the overwhelming pleasure, he craved more, needed more.

Alice offered it freely.

Keeping firm hold of her hips, he set a quick pace, lifting her up and slamming her down again, bucking his hips to meet her with increasing strength and speed. She moved sensually upon him, her body flowing easily, her skin radiant with passion. He held her gaze as he moved, fighting the building sensations threatening to force his eyes shut. He needed to stare into her eyes, to see his pleasure mirrored in her expression. He needed to know, without a doubt, that they were linked to one another in these moments.

Her blunt little nails dug into the backs of his shoulders. She further quickened their pace as soft pants and moans escaped her parted lips. A crease appeared between her brows, and her eyelids fluttered as though they would close.

His chest vibrated with his deep purring, which gave his voice a gravely undertone when he said, “Keep your eyes open, Alice. Look at me. See me.”

She brought a hand to his face and cupped his jaw. “I see you. I— ah !” Her chin tilted up and she shuddered as her sex clenched around his shaft.

She was so beautiful—more so than ever before, with passion burning in her eyes and her cheeks flushed with pleasure.

Shadow raised a hand to cradle the back of her head, tangling his claws in her golden locks. “See and know that you are mine .”

The convulsions of her inner walls intensified, and whatever control Shadow had maintained up until that point shattered. He pounded into her frantically, using the springiness of the bed beneath him to increase the force of his thrusts. His conscious thoughts were swept away by a gale of pleasure that blasted outward from his center.

Alice pressed her forehead to his as she cried out, her breathy moans escalating in volume with every thrust. Her body went rigid, and she trembled, but her eyes remained locked with his.

His fingers flexed as the pressure within him reached a breaking point. He forced his hips and hands to keep moving as he exploded inside her; his movements were made stiff and erratic by the tension his climax produced in his muscles. Though his eyes strained, he would not allow them to close, would not allow himself to look away from her—not while the same intensity, the same intimacy, he felt in himself was blazing in Alice’s gaze.

His cock pulsed in his release, and her sex coaxed more and more out of him until there was nothing left to give. Shadow threw his head back, his body shuddering in the aftermath of his climax. Alice sagged forward, leaning against him, and he eased his back onto the bed, wrapping his arms around her.

They lay like that for a long while, their breath ragged, their skin slick with sweat, as they slowly descended from the heights to which they’d climbed.

Alice drew in a deep breath and released it in a contented sigh as she snuggled against him, rubbing her cheek on his chest. It was followed by a yawn. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt so…sleepy before.”

“I don’t believe that’s quite the feeling I was aiming for,” he said, smiling softly as he idly traced the pads of his fingers up and down her back, “but I suppose it will do.”

She chuckled; it made her body shake gently, but that was enough to send another flare of pleasure through him. There was a soft moan—Shadow wasn’t sure if it had come from him, from Alice, or from both of them at once.

“Whether this world is real or not, dear Alice, I will never forget this.”

“I won’t either,” she murmured. Her body went slack a few seconds later, and her slow, even breathing suggested she was asleep.

He remained in place for some time, continuing the slow slide of his fingers from her shoulders down to her hips and back again. He couldn’t deny his reluctance to withdraw from her body—she was warm and soft, and even as she slept, the faint movements of her inner walls sent tingles of pleasure through his cock. There was nowhere else he would rather have been.

Part of him also recognized that, somehow, she was the only thing keeping his mind from being consumed with worry. To withdraw from her would mean an end to the sensations currently distracting him. It would mean facing their current situation head-on.

Shadow sighed softly, lifted his head, and placed a kiss atop Alice’s hair. “Nothing is the same since you came.”

Moving as carefully as he could, he slowly rolled Alice off him, withdrawing his still erect cock from her heat with a pang of regret. She stirred as he settled her onto her back but did not wake. His heart thumped when he caught sight of the faint smile on her lips. He reached forward and delicately brushed away a strand of hair from her face with the back of a claw.

Propped up on an elbow and with his tail lazily flicking beside him, Shadow happily took time to admire her body—their joining had offered unfortunately little opportunity to do so.

Her skin was as fair on the rest of her body as it was on her face, its pure white broken only by a pair of moles on her inner right thigh and a light pink birthmark on her hip. Even now, he couldn’t keep his hands off her. She was so soft, so smooth, so warm. He traced her collarbone with the pad of a finger before running that finger between her breasts, which were round and pert, each a perfect fit for his palm. He followed the progress of his hand with his eyes as it trekked steadily lower.

Alice’s flaring hips curved in such a way that they also seemed designed to fit precisely in his hands. He ran his finger around her belly button before continuing down. His hand halted at the uppermost edge of the little patch of hair on her pelvis. The hair was neat and short—though he could tell, despite its length, that it tended to curl—and was a shade darker than the blond hair on her head.

He dipped his eyes lower still, and barely contained a lustful groan. Alice’s legs were parted, granting him full view of the drying nectar on her thighs and the pink petals of her glistening sex. The air was perfumed with the lingering scent of her arousal.

His cock throbbed, and he wrapped his fingers around it, squeezing it with the hope of alleviating some of the sudden ache.

Despite what they’d just shared, Shadow yearned for more. Had she not looked so exhausted when they’d come down from their climaxes, he would’ve woken her now—perhaps with the tip of his tail brushing over her folds, or by spearing her with his tongue again. But his Alice needed rest. Even if he could not understand the stresses and fears she’d endured in Wonderland—because this place had never affected him like it affected her—he did understand that it was all taking a toll on her.

Yet his gaze lingered on her sex a little longer. Something seemed wrong, seemed off , but he couldn’t immediately place it. It wasn’t Alice or her body, wasn’t her sex…but something was missing.

His mind stilled when he realized what it was—none of his seed had seeped out of her.

With brow furrowed, Shadow sat up. He raised his hand from his shaft and sniffed his fingers. All he could smell was Alice’s scent, as thrilling and intoxicating as ever but not enough to pierce his sudden unease.

He’d felt himself come, had felt heat pouring out of him, and her body had demanded more.

So where was the evidence of it? Where was his seed, which should’ve been trickling down her pale skin or seeping from the slit at the end of his cock? Where was its scent?

Shadow lifted his gaze to her face. Her features were serene in her slumber, unburdened by worry—for now, her quest to escape Wonderland was forgotten. For now, she’d accepted him, had accepted this place, and had found some peace in that acceptance.

But what if…

What if she’d been right all along? What if Wonderland wasn’t real?

What if I’m not real?

He leapt off the bed and paced at its foot, the fur of his tail standing on end as it lashed restlessly behind him. He shoved the fingers of one hand into his hair, tugging the strands back, glancing at Alice’s peaceful form each time he passed her. His chest felt tight, like his organs were constricting.

Everything she’d said flitted through his head, colliding with Jor’calla’s nonsense—much of which didn’t seem quite so nonsensical right now. Even the Red King’s words supported Alice’s claims, if only from a certain perspective.

“No, no,” he muttered under his breath, “the rules can’t just change . This is all…all…”

Not real? I don’t seem to follow any of the rules, myself. That can’t be how reality works, can it?

Shadow lifted his other arm to clench two fistfuls of his hair—as though the sting on his scalp could somehow end this bout of madness.

It’s true death, Shadow!

No. The only true death in Wonderland was the kind where people came back a little while later.

He halted abruptly and fixed his gaze on Alice. Sweet, sweet Alice—so beautiful, so small, so vulnerable. Could he risk disbelieving all this talk about true death? Could he risk the chance of losing her forever?

He hurried to the bed and knelt beside it, sliding his arms beneath her. With all possible gentleness—and while holding his breath—he lifted her off the bed and cradled her against his chest. Her only reaction was to curl trustingly against him.

“I’ll keep you safe, Alice,” he whispered. “No one will harm you. You’re mine.”

Using a combination of one foot and his tail, he peeled the bedding back. He settled her on the mattress. Lying on her side, she nuzzled her cheek into the pillow and let out a contented sigh.

Shadow wanted nothing more than to lie down beside her and hold her in his arms through the night, but he covered her up without joining her. These questions of reality were too loud inside his head; he needed a distraction until he calmed down, until he came to his senses and could see past all this madness.

He turned away from the bed. He would occupy himself by washing their soiled clothes—the mess he’d undoubtedly make of Miraxis’s home in the process would be satisfying, and Shadow and Alice would appreciate clean clothes to put on in the morning.

Why speculate about reality? Wonderland was reality. There was nothing else.

The visions struck him so quickly, so powerfully, that his stride faltered, assailing his senses in an onslaught against which he could not defend. Sight, hearing, smell, feel, and taste were hijacked; all that remained of reality was his own thundering heart.

He was at the controls of a strange vehicle, struggling with the sticks that operated it. The wide window in front of him was dominated by orange fire, and the tang of burning metal stung his nostrils. Everything around him was rattling so hard and fast that it all seemed on the verge of breaking apart. Countless voices chattered in his ear, and people nearby where shouting in panicked tones.

Shadow shook himself out of the jarring vision, but another swept in on its heels.

He lay on his back atop some sort of bed in a dimly lit corridor. Strong, cruel hands were clamped on his arms and legs as the bed was wheeled into a room, and Shadow couldn’t move, couldn’t shake the nauseating odor of chemicals.

“Welcome,” someone said as Shadow was lifted and lowered into another, narrower bed with high walls. They said more, but he couldn’t hear the words because sharp objects were piercing his skin, and he still couldn’t move, still couldn’t get away.

Then the lid closed, because he wasn’t in a bed—he was in a box, in a tomb. In his coffin.

When he snapped back to reality, Shadow was on one knee, leaning against one of the corners of the foot of the bed. His heart was pounding, his breath ragged, his limbs trembling. He was in Miraxis’s bedroom, not in a strange, fiery vehicle or a cramped coffin.

He glanced over his shoulder. Fortunately, Alice was sleeping soundly, undisturbed by his… episode .

What was that?

He’d never experienced those things, had never seen those places. Just like everyone else, he’d come into being in Wonderland, and he remembered everything from his awakening.

Those weren’t memories. Couldn’t be.

It was my imagination. A…temporary lapse of sanity.

Shadow pushed up to his feet and, on shaky legs, made his way to the bathroom to collect Alice’s clothing, pausing only to gather his own along the way.

“Not real,” he whispered to himself. The words echoed in his head.

Not real .