Page 49 of Enemy

One more kiss from Clyde and I’m able to swallow again, as if he’s all the medicine I need.

“Like… you’re supposed to always like it, because you’re gay.Obviouslyyou want to suck dick. I used to believe that, when I was still a kid. But then… I don’t know, it didn’t work like that for me, and I wasn’t sure if I even was gay after all.” I ramble, knowing there’s no going back. I’ve said too much already, so I might as well finish. “Don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t. But… What are you saying? That you weren’t sure if you’re gay? I get that—”

“No. I’m saying that wasn’t the first time I gave someone head, and the other times… left me confused as fuck,” I say, trying to rein in the anger buzzing deep inside, because Clyde has done nothing wrong, and there’s no point getting angry at people I’ll likely never meet again.

“Oh. So you had boyfriends…? Or…? Why was it not good?”

I worried he might be annoyed about me not mentioning it before when we talked about firsts, but he’s hugging me no less tightly. The warm bubble of the blanket is making me feel as though maybe it’s time I got this thing out of my system.

“Nah, nothing serious like that. Just a few dicks I sucked when I first left home. I wore torn clothes, and was still scrawny. Anyone who looked twice would know I was a runaway. And runaways need to move farther from their homes, they need to eat, and a warm place to sleep. Some people are just nice and want to help you because it makes them feel good. But for others, it’s an opportunity for an exchange of goods. You get me?”

Clyde rubs his thumb over my knuckle in soothing circles. “How old were you?”

I groan. “I left home at fourteen.” I’m surprised I don’t feel pitied. Clyde is just there, ingesting all of this so I can be rid of it.

“And what happened made you not want to do it again?”

His touch is so soothing I want to kiss every single finger. “I thought it would be this hot thing. My first cock, right? Easy money. But this guy… not my type at all, and he was fucking weird about it, talking all the freaking time to get himself worked up. It was… disappointing. I almost felt guilty when I jerked off after. So… yeah, the whole thing didn’t excite me at all. Some people might seem normal on the outside, but then you find out they’re fucked in the head.”

I shut up, taking a deep breath, trying to calm the furious pulsing in my temples before speaking again, “So I thought there was something wrong with me, because I hated it more and more. But not today. I liked giving you head.”

Clyde hugs me tighter. “I’m so sorry. You were in a fucked up situation. I only want you to do it if you like it.”

I groan and slap his forearm. “Look, maybe let’s just forget this? I don’t want you to be all sad about it.”

“I won’t forget it. Thank you for trusting me. Hope the fuckers lose their dicks in a freak accident with a restroom stall door.” He licks the back of my head, but then groans. “Fuck. I got the oil all over my tongue!”

The laugh erupting from my chest feels freeing. “Go on, you can leave it on my shoulder. I like all the things you can do with your tongue.”

When he licks the back of my shoulder several times, I’m shaking with laughter. I can’t believe this shit.

“What?” Clyde complains. “I’m not gonna go wash my mouth out. I’m too comfortable.”

“Yeah, this is real nice,” I admit, at peace. I can’t imagine telling this story to anyone else, but Clyde gets it. Getsme.

I’m in a warm cocoon of limbs and a blanket when something makes me open my eyes. I’m groggy, and I’m not sure what it could possibly be other than the sun shining at my face, because I’ve had the best sleep in months. Clyde is still spooning me, I’m in his house, and if I’m lucky, I’ll be getting a good breakfast. And a blowjob.

What’s not to love?

The rumble of a motorcycle, that’s what.

“Fuck. Clyde!” I push him with my elbow just as the door downstairs slams against a wall and I hear Grizzly’s voice.

“Answer your damn phone, Clyde!”

Chapter 21

Clyde

Iwakesoabruptly,for a moment I’m not sure what’s going on, but then I hear my uncle’s voice and see Road scrambling to his feet.

“Fuck,” I hiss under my breath in panic. “Under the bed. Now.”

The heavy steps are already resonating on the stairs as Road rolls to the floor.

My hands shake, and sweat’s covering my back by the time Grizzly’s familiar silhouette looms at the top of the stairs. I didn’t even bother shutting the door behind us, and my entire body throbs with the worry that he’s spotted Road, or heard him.