Page 4 of Endgame

“Lotus?” Done with waiting, I cover my eyes with one hand, turn the knob, and step inside. “Lotus, are you decent?”

This silence. It’s loud. It’s static in my ears, like something terrible is about to happen.

More than it already has.

Dread lines the bottom of my stomach. She could’ve passed out, and I’m standing here like an idiot.

She could also be naked, so I keep my hand over my eyes.

“Lotus?” I square my shoulders, standing taller. Straighter.

For her. I think the sight of her six-foot-three brother calms my sister. A shield between her and the outside world.

I don’t remind her that I failed when it mattered. What I do is bulk up at the gym.

“Hey, so, you’re freaking me out. What’s—”What’s wrong, dumbass? Really?“Lotus, I’m going to count to five, then I’m taking my hand off my eyes, okay?”

Despite my rising concern and my chest tightening, I make good on my promise and count.

“…and five.” Removing my hand, I look around her room.

She hasn’t fallen asleep on top of the white covers. Hasn’t collapsed on the floor either.

There’s no sign of her on her couch by her heavy wood desk, but in her bathroom, she might be there.

“Hey, you there?” I rap on the door with my knuckles. “Let me in. Please.”

I want her to tell me to go away. To leave her alone.

Anything but this silence. Silence means she could’ve passed out from crying.

Or she could’ve broken down and harmed herself.

My hand is heavy as I turn the knob, as heavy as my heart when I push the door in.

“Hey.”

No answer. The vanity and waterfall shower are as silent as the rest of Lotus’s room.

“Fuck.”

All my frustration piles up in that one curse.

All my sadness.

I see what I look like in her vanity mirror. My gray eyes are fucking weird. I’ve never been this frustrated in my life.

This helpless.

Her closet, maybe. In three steps, I’m inside, flipping the lights on.

Expensive clothes and shoes are lined on the shelves and hang from the racks. Lotus doesn’t care about these things, but Mom loves spoiling her.

Mom loves spoiling all three of us.

Except she isn’t here now. Neither is Lotus.

Where could she be? She hasn’t left the room since dinner.