Page 10 of Enchanted with the Orc (The Kingverse Orcs #4)

Enka

T here was no way in hell that my mate was going to trust me with her precious youngling, and I understood that. It didn’t mean that it didn’t sting a little, but our Gruk-ir’s safety came above all else.

“I don’t need anyone to take care of her,” she said in slow words, as if I wasn’t understanding what she was trying to say—but I did. I totally understood that she was willing to deny herself the downtime that she needed, if it meant that Gruk-ir was safe, comfortable and cared for.

“I know that you don’t need it,” I lied. I didn’t know anything of the sort. She deserved help and I was going to give it to her. It didn’t hurt that I wanted us to get to know each other better for other reasons as well. “But wouldn’t it be best if I was able to help in case ?”

I saw her cursing the logic in her head and I had to hide my smile by scrubbing my palm across my mouth. I was winning the argument and she didn’t like it. Not even a little bit.

“ In case is the least likely scenario,” she huffed, but she unfolded her arms from across her glorious breasts. “But you’re right. It’s in her best interest to make sure that someone else can take care of her if something happens to me.”

The thought sent a shock of pain into my chest and I leaned closer to her, taking her small hand in mine. Her gorgeous brown eyes went wide and she stared up at me, her lips parted in shock.

Gods, I want to kiss those lips.

“Nothing is ever going to happen to you,” I promised her, my voice rough with earnest fire. “No one is going to touch you or our Gruk-ir. I’ll kill them first.”

A breath left her in a rush and I had to stop myself from leaning down to kiss her. I couldn’t think about anyone hurting my mate and youngling. It was sending me over an edge of rage unlike anything I’d ever faced before.

“But you don’t know anything about me,” I said, aching to reach out and tuck her hair behind her ear.

“And I’d like for us to get to know each other better.

Maybe if you trust me, you’ll be able to take a break once in a while.

I promise I’ll take such good care of her.

She’s such a sweet girl, and I know it’s because you’ve raised her. ”

She stared at me as if I had lost my mind and pursed her lips together tight. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s that I don’t trust anyone with her other than my family,” she explained her voice tremulous.

I nodded, giving her a smile. I already knew that about her.

When she gave her loyalty, she gave it full-heartedly.

I saw it in the way that she interacted with her coven and my clan.

I hadn’t known my mother as long as my brothers had, but I knew that she would love Tasia the way that I did.

After she died, I’d longed for a mate just like her, and it seemed as if the Gods were answering my prayers.

My heart ached at the thought of my mother meeting Tasia and our Gruk-ir. She would have loved her so much. And she would have treated the tiny girl as her own. When my mother loved, she loved with her entire heart, the way that Tasia did.

And my father would have joined me and my brothers in facing off against the asshole who had hurt my mate and her daughter. Even now, I knew that the clan would face off against this male for her and for me.

“You can ask me anything that you need,” I prompted, knowing that she needed more from me than I was currently giving.

I wanted to be there for her, but it’d be hard for her to trust me.

And I knew that after everything she’d been through with whoever had hurt her in the past, that it would be difficult for her to put her faith in me. I was asking her to do it anyway.

I wanted to open my arms and hold her close, keeping her safe and sound from the entire world.

But I knew we weren’t there yet, and I wasn’t sure that we would ever be.

Still, I was going to try. I was going to put everything that she needed above anything that I wanted.

No matter how much I wanted to touch her, I wouldn’t be doing it.

This was her priority. So it was going to be mine, too. Her daughter. Our daughter.

Our baby’s going to be safe and I’m the one who’s going to see to it.

I watched as she ran her gaze over my face and I hoped that she found whatever she needed to find there.

It was difficult to stay still because I knew that with every moment she was judging whether she would stay or go.

I hated that I might have to stop her, but I knew more about what she needed than she did in this moment.

“I don’t know what to ask you,” she said and looked away from me.

“There’s probably so many questions that I should be asking but I don’t know where to start.

” She bit her lip, sighing. “I’m still not sure if I can ever leave her alone with you.

I don’t trust that easily. I don’t know that anyone should trust that easily. Especially when they’re a mother.”

While I understood that, it didn’t stop the sharp hurt that lashed through me.

“Deep down I know that you probably won’t hurt us,” she added, easing most of the pain right away, “But I don’t know that I can trust myself anymore to make those decisions.”

“Trust yourself?” I asked “Why wouldn’t you be able to trust yourself?”

“I’ve made terrible decisions in the past and they’ve affected me, my family and Gabbi,” she admitted, chewing on her lower lip. I wished I could tug that lip free, but I had to stop myself. She didn’t need me trying to touch her now when she was opening up to me.

“I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I put her in any more danger because of the choices that I’m making.” She looked away as if her choices were something she was deeply ashamed of.

“Did you want to talk about them?” I asked. “I’ll never judge you on anything you tell me. And I can promise that I can keep a secret

“Even from your brothers?” she asked with a small smile playing on her lips. “You guys seem pretty close.”

“We are,” I told her. “We’re as close as any blood brothers can probably be.

It’s a little different from clan brothers.

Closer.” I struggled to explain the dynamics.

“We don’t owe loyalty to blood brothers, but when we make them part of our clan, it’s something stronger.

I chose those two as well as being directly related to them.

We were all each other had for the longest while.

The only family and the only support. Then we met Rok and as soon as we came to this plane, we met our new clan. ”

I scrubbed at the back of my neck, wondering if I needed to go further in depth. I knew she probably wouldn’t trust me until I told her all the details of my life. But a lot of it consisted of things that I was ashamed of, and I wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear any of it.

It wasn’t easy to admit to my mate that in the past my clan and I had been so close to starving that we’d had to steal in order to eat. It was something that I would be humiliated to admit to this perfect, beautiful female. Especially since she was my mate.

How would that prove that I would be able to provide for her and our youngling? Would she ever trust me after that to be there for them if she knew?

The one thing I was sure of was that I wasn’t gonna lie to her. If she asked me whether I’d ever had to steal in the past and if I’d done anything that was against our honor code, I would have to admit it to her. I was just hoping she wouldn’t ask.

One day when we were fully mated and completely enveloped in each other’s lives, then I could tell her all my sins. I could bare my soul to her at that point. But for now, it felt like she was ready to run at the slightest provocation. I couldn’t take that risk.

“I wouldn’t even know where to start with an interview for a babysitter,” she said with a smile. “Should I be asking you for your references?”

“I don’t have any,” I admitted with a laugh. “I’ve never sat on a baby before in my life and that sounds a little bit dangerous actually. Why are people sitting on babies? If I wanted Gruk-ir to stop running I would hold her instead of sitting on her.”

It was her turn to laugh. “There’s definitely no sitting on the babies involved.

They just call it that when you care for a child when their parents are away.

” Her smile was slow and beautiful as she continued.

“I might not be against sitting on Gabbi, though. She’s a handful.

More than a handful. But I guess you’ve seen some of it already. ”

“She’s enthusiastic,” I argued. “And I love being her favorite.”

“I don’t know about favorite,” she giggled, and I adored hearing the sound. It lit me up inside in a way that I’d never known anything could do before. Her joy was contagious and I could feel it growing in my chest. “She also seems to have a bit of a crush on Rudgar,” she confided and I scowled.

“Rudgar’s taken, so she can have me,” I told her with a wink.

She lowered her gaze and looked anywhere but at me as she asked, “And you’re not taken?”

That hopeful part deep inside me cheered at the question. “No,” I cleared my throat to say, keeping my eyes firmly fixed on the side of her face where she was avoiding looking at me. “I’m not taken at all. I’m very available for taking,” I hurried to say.

It was her turn to clear her throat as she struggled to avoid the conversation. But I needed her to know where my stance was when it came to us. I was hers and she was mine. And there was nothing else that mattered.

“I see,” she said, trying out the words. “I didn’t know that.”

“That’s the good part about asking all these questions and doing this interview. You can learn everything that you want to learn about me. There’re no questions that are off limits,” I told her, my voice pitched low and deep.

If only I knew what this gorgeous female was thinking while she had that look on her face that told me nothing. She had so many secrets, and I wanted to know each and every one. But for now, my secrets would have to do.

Instead of waiting for her to ask any more questions, I decided that I would just tell her everything I knew about children and our youngling.

The book had been a treasure trove of information, but I knew that books were different from practice.

And our Gruk-ir was something I was gonna have to learn about on the run.

“Since I joined the clan, I’ve been reading up on younglings,” I told her.

“Especially human ones.” I tried to find the right words without giving her too much of a reason to run away.

If she knew that I was reading up about younglings because of her and Gabbi, then she might be too scared to stay here.

She might seek out someone else to protect her, and deep down I knew that I wouldn’t be able to let them go.

Now that they were mine and they were here with me, I would fight to keep them.

It was something I was going to have to talk to Darak about.

If he needed to subdue me so my mate and youngling could leave—so they could be safe without me—I wanted him to know my weak points so he could do it properly.

“I know all about naps and sleep cycles and I learned about milestone goals for her age,” I said. “But I haven’t been able to put any of it into practice. I promise, if you need any time to yourself, you can trust me with her. I’ll come and get you if anything goes wrong.”

Her eyes widened at that.

“What do you think can go wrong?” she asked, horror filling her voice.

“In case she cries,” I explained. “I wouldn’t be able to bear it if she cried. I would have to bring her to you.”

Her expression of horror slowly transformed into a small secret smile, and she looked away once again.

It was as though my mate could never look at me, and I wanted that more than anything.

I wanted us to be able to tell each other every secret that we had.

Our time would come and I knew it deep down.

I just had to have the patience to wait.

for this perfect female to open up to me.